Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

A few days ago a reader emailed me and asked me to write about what to do after a Pride Fall? The reader stated that after a fall like this, it is hard to keep up hope. She wanted me to try to put into words what could be done, besides the obvious of Mass and the Sacraments, as many don’t have Spiritual Directors to speak to.

I have probably written about this in various ways in the past, but I am going to try to assemble all of it here for clarity’s sake because I do think it’s important and because I do think we all need the reinforcement of one another when we are suffering. I know I needed it. My friend Ashley simply said to me, “you can do this, God is in this with you, his grace is sufficient,” multiple times last year. Those words kept the flame of hope alive in me. So I write this for anyone who is suffering and not understanding the ways of God. I know I felt paralyzed at times. God wants us to rise and walk.

It is extremely humbling and often humiliating when we fall in Pride. When we think we know the right course of action and everything comes crumbling down, it is often hard to recover, especially if you are sincerely trying to do God’s will, as Peter was. I remember struggling so much with what God was allowing to happen to me over the last year. I will also state, I know there were people actively cursing me and God was allowing it. I didn’t understand. It seemed God was taking everything away from me. Hadn’t I been faithful was the question I kept asking? God was silent a lot. In the middle of it, it is hard to bear. I remember simply praying for mercy and grace and clinging to belief. Looking back from the other side now, I see no other way to perfection in love. Even today, my areas of pride are pointed out daily. I recognize them quickly because of the ordeal of the last year. I was doing everything the laws of God asked, and I loved God, but I was relying a lot on myself. God wants us to lean on Him, letting Him guide when to act and when to wait. When to speak and when to just pray. God desired to draw me closer. He desires this for you too. Most of us are too afraid to get this close because it hurts so bad as it involves in letting go of many things that comfort us and just accepting the situation that is. Sometimes it involves money, sometimes it’s health, sometimes it’s relationships, the humbling can come from any myriad of things. All the time God is revealing, if you look. It unites you to His cross and reveals the things hidden in your heart that keep you away from Him. He wants to draw you inside the gate, where the innermost depth of your heart lay so His Divine Love can pour into it. We have to keep this in perspective otherwise our human ways draw us further from him.

You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? It was before your eyes that Jesus Christ was publicly exhibited as crucified! ²The only thing I want to learn from you is this: Did you receive the Spirit by doing the works of the law or by believing what you heard?  Are you so foolish? Having started with the Spirit, are you now ending with the flesh?  Did you experience so much for nothing?—if it really was for nothing. Galatians 3:1-4

From here, I will outline step by step what I would do after a Pride Fall.

1. Remember that God loves you no matter what. He never stops loving you. You don’t have to earn his love.

  “But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

2. Do not try to justify yourself. When you try to explain or defend what you did God cannot come in and be your justification. Satan will try to convince you to explain yourself, much the way Adam explained to God that the woman given to him made him do it, rather than just saying sorry.

Much more surely, therefore, since we have now been justified by his blood, will we be saved through him from the wrath of God Romans 5:9

3. Do not stuff your emotions. Emotions are a gift from God that help you to process when something happens. Be totally open with God about your emotions. He can handle them. He can reveal truth through them. Do not try to be “good enough”, just honest with God about exactly where you are. The most healing can take place when your heart is poured out and nothing is held back. Satan wants you ruled by emotions. God wants to reveal the wound using emotions. One way is out of control, the other is to place you on firm ground.

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:8

4. Do not worry about what others think of you. Set your eyes on what God thinks of you.

the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him, for the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

5. Ask the Lord what it is He wants you to face? What is it he wants you to stare at in order to convert and change? What is your serpent on the staff? Satan wants all things hidden, God wants to reveal the hidden things with love.

if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14

6. Be open to what He tells you and reveals to you. He does not condemn, but convicts you to change. He never shows you something to get you stuck in shame, only to widen your view to a God’s eye view. Satan is the accuser. God is the healer.

“Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world but in order that the world might be saved through him. John 3:17

7. Forgive anyone who needs forgiving; that includes yourself, and even God. God hasn’t done anything wrong, but from our skewed perspective it can sometimes seem that way, forgiving God allows us to let go so he can heal us. Forgiveness is truly freeing. Satan wants you bound in the chains of unforgiveness, God wants to free you.

Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective. James 5:16

8. Wait on the Lord. Do not expect everything to be fixed and for suffering to go away. Fixes are short term and don’t address the core of what needs healing. Healing is a long term process and the Lord walks you there. The goal is to love even though you’re suffering and the grace from that love will spill into your world and healing will begin. Chances are it took time to get where you are, it will take time to walk out of it too. Satan tries to distract and rush things. God moves with slowly in a distinct direction that will produce what is best for you.

but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

9. Don’t lose hope in the Lord. His promises are true and He does work all things for the good of those who love Him. Satan wants you to despair so he can send a spirit of murder to attack you with horrible thoughts. God wants you thinking bigger of who He is and for you to know He is way stronger than Satan.

Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who has promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23

10. Pray without ceasing. Pray prayer from your heart and the Spirit will intercede. Satan fears those who pray. God moves you towards union with Him when you pray.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness, for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with groanings too deep for words. Romans 8:26

That about sums up how to handle a Pride Fall. I believe Saint Peter did all of these things in between the time he denied Jesus and wept, to the day of Pentecost. By the time He got to Pentecost his heart was totally ready for the Spirit to descend because of the walk He had already been on.

I hope this is able to help anyone out there who is suffering with why something happened. I don’t think God wants us stuck in the why, but he wants us to look at the Who. To look at the one who can heal and in whose image He is trying to form us in perfection. Anything not of Him we should desire to go, even if it hurts. And if you’re in a place where you don’t desire what keeps you from God to go, pray then to desire that.

May God bless you all this Father’s Day. Remember the heavenly Father who loves you so much he sent His only Son to die for you.

In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 4:10