“If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, to be with you forever. This is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him because he abides with you, and he will be in you. John 14:15-17
Now is the time of prayer. I have felt this of late. Less and less has the Lord poured words over me as he did in the past. I feel compelled towards the Rosary often. As the world spirals into the ways of destruction, it is as if we are to hide away in the upper room focusing not on the world but on the Lord who sends the Advocate. A great outpouring is near. It is the coming Epoch of the Holy Spirit. Illumination. Pray for it.
I have spent the past few weeks since mom’s passing rereading my journal. His personal promises to me regarding my mom came to fruition. I had prayed for a holy and a happy death. She was provided for. God is who He says He is.
I came across an entry from May 5, 2023 and I thought now is the time to share it. As always, if the church says what I have written is wrong then the church is correct and I am wrong.
May 5, 2023
Lord teach me how to pray as I ought. – Susan
Beloved Lily of the Father,
Pray for people, not things. Prayer is a movement of the spirit to strengthen the Body of Christ. The gifts of the Spirit move you to pray as you ought.
Fear of the Lord causes you to hate sin.
Counsel guides you in right decisions.
Knowledge is confidence in who you are and who God is.
Fortitude is strength of the spirit to withstand hell.
Piety honors and gives glory to God.
Understanding brings greater depth to Divine Revelation.
Wisdom – Jesus is the Wisdom of the Father, Wisdom walks in the way of Christ.
Pray for an increase in the gifts for yourself, it will become a gift of God to others.
Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. Proverbs 3:7
I went last night to the Good Friday Veneration of the Cross and I was struck by the second reading from Hebrews.
In the days when he was in the flesh, he offered prayers and supplications with loud cries and tears to the one who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered; and when he was made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him, declared by God high priest according to the order of Melchizedek.Hebrews 5:7-10
He was heard because of his reverence. What a powerful statement. Some translations use the term “Godly fear.” This is a gift of the Holy Spirit.
I reflected on the years of spiritual journey and how the closer the Lord drew me in, the more I wanted to respond in reverence, turning to the ways of my ancestors who went before me, by receiving on the tongue, kneeling, and wearing a veil, even in situations where I would be questioned and made fun of for it. Though I know both liturgies are the Holy Sacrifice, in the times I have been to Latin Mass, I felt as though the Liturgy itself was set up to be more like the Nativity. Great care taken to make what needed to be private – private, and the handling of the Body of Christ a reverent handling, the way I pictured Mary and Joseph handling the Divine Child. The abuses I saw at the Novus Ordo Mass reminded me more of the Passion. The lack of reverent silence, the abuses of the Eucharist, there were even times I felt that watching the consecration was an intrusion. It’s hard for me to explain.
To be sure though, reverence is actually an interior disposition that, when embraced, can be shown outwardly. People can have fake piety where they think themselves better than another, but that isn’t reverence, it’s pride. Only God can actually judge what is happening inside a soul. But for me, the outward display was and is a recognition of how weak I am, how small I am, and how I wanted to be obedient to the Lord who I felt asked me to do these things.
Reverence is a Holy Fear of the Lord. It is the first step towards true charity. Charity doesn’t tell people only what they want to hear, but, in love, tells the truth. It is never meant to harm, but only to usher people towards the source of true healing, to the one who can make them whole. Charity is the cross.
The spiritual journey these past few years was accompanied by me caring for my mom and dad and watching as their bodies deteriorated. The past few years of their and my suffering made me to know all that really is important in this world is to love with a Godly love. Godly love is true. There is an acceptance of the things that are, that God has allowed to come, and a reliance on His Will that changes you. Though I can see what may need to be “fixed” I try to step back and ask the Lord if He wants my involvement before getting involved. Sometimes he does, sometimes it is someone else’s battle to fight. He has a task in mind for each of us. We need to pay attention and do what is asked. We always want to make room for the Holy Spirit to move.
When we recognize our weakness and reverently cry out to God, I do believe that is when God’s power is poured out. When we love and serve in the difficulty of life, grace rains down.
During this time period, the angels have left me in awe. I knew that my mother was being ministered to by angels and I cried one day all the way home after I read the following in Hebrews,
But to which of the angels has he ever said: “Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies your footstool”? Are they not all ministering spirits sent to serve, for the sake of those who are to inherit salvation? Hebrews 1:13-14
I thought of how most of us, because of our concupiscence, would be like Satan choosing our own ego rather than serving. Our sin speaks to how we actually do this time and again. But the angels, who are so much higher in intellect than us, who are so much more powerful than us, still chose to minister to us and to serve us because they love God and that is what He asked them to do. What a humbling realization. They are doing what they were made for, serving us for the sake of our salvation, even though the people of God make decisions that go against God all the time. Would that we be that obedient, how different the world would look. What a gift the angels are.
I watched my mom die this week. I saw what sin does. This is not a commentary on her personal sin, just that the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). Death is not pretty and it’s also not what God had in mind. It was hard to watch and I am glad my family was there for her at her weakest. At the end we have nothing of the world that we once had. It is but a fleeting memory and all that is left is your relationships, and even then, in the moment of death, it is the angels who take you, and the most important relationship, the one with God, that you face. The church, like a good mother, provided for my mom so that she would be able to meet her maker and choose life. Please continue to pray for her soul. In these moments I realize how much of my life I wasted worrying about the judgement of others when all I needed to have a Holy Fear about is the judgement of God.
I felt many years ago that God had told me that after my parents died the world would drastically change (for your discernment). Everything I have endured (and that you all reading this have endured) is meant to bring you to a place of total surrender to the will of God, to stop fighting what comes your way and start embracing the plan of God who allowed it to come your way. The fight needs to be intelligent as my friend Jansen says. It is against powers and principalities. Your heart must be pure as we forge ahead. Even though the world is filled with sinners, we should desire, as God does, that all be saved, even as we know that not all will choose to be.
I hope you all have a blessed Easter and that the Glory of God is poured upon you.
but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom also he made the universe. The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven. Hebrews 1:2-3
The angel of the Lord appeared to him and said to him, “The Lord is with you, you mighty warrior.” Judges 6:12
Mary Josephine Carr Green
June 3, 1940 – March 25, 2024
My mom passed away Monday, March 25, 2024. Please pray for the repose of her soul.
Mom had lived with my family for 3 years. She had dementia. She also had type one diabetes. I had put her on hospice a little bit ago because of the marked decline. She went to sleep last Thursday and just didn’t wake up after that. She looked so peaceful. I called my family. She received anointing of the sick and an Apostolic Pardon. She was surrounded by praying family.
These past few years were messier and more exhausting than I ever imagined. I find myself feeling sorrow mixed with relief. During this phase of my life I found that often my expectations were false in terms of what Gods perfection looks like. God operates in the middle of mess. He taught me to look up and be loving in the middle of exhaustion and dark places. I failed a lot. I loved a lot. Grace poured a lot. It really is about love and mercy.
We all told mom it was okay to go. My sisters and I went first and then my brother. He went through (with his awesome memory) all of the addresses she had lived at in her life and told her that the next address would be the last and best one. Even though this year the Annunciation was moved because of Holy Week, I still see the date as a hug from Our Blessed Mother. May mom rest in peace.
Funeral Mass will be April 1, 2024 at 12:00 p.m. CST at Saint Philip the Apostle Church, Franklin, TN. Livestream will be available.
Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. When they saw him, they worshiped him, but they doubted. And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:16-20
I apologize I haven’t written anything in awhile. Lent is a busy time for those who work in ministry. I am also working on completing another prayer book, please pray that it comes to fruition. For those who don’t know Ashley Blackburn and I published our first prayer book this past year.
We had the privilege of having Dr. Ryan Hanning, PhD, speak at my parish last night on the Gospel of Matthew. If you don’t have time to listen to the whole thing, please at least listen to the opening story beginning at the 8 minute 45 second mark. It’s the story of a modern day miracle and we all need to hear those.
Mary Magdalene (c. 1598) by Domenico Tintoretto, depicting her as a penitent
“Therefore I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul. Job 7:11
I came across a German Mystic named Anne Marie Lindmayr the other day. She was a 17th Century Carmelite nun who is known as a Purgatory Mystic. She stated of purgatory that, “the types of souls that dwell the least amount of time in purgatory are those that willingly accept death.”
In hearing this quote, it was like a light bulb went off in my head. “Of course,” I thought to myself. This is because acceptance of death is an acceptance of the consequences of sin.
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23
It is a complete and total recognition that death is not God’s fault, and we accept it. It is the opposite of what Adam did in the garden.
The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit from the tree, and I ate.” Genesis 3:12
Do you see what Adam did there? He blamed God for his sin. Never mind that God had given Adam a gift, a help-mate, and that he gave Adam explicit instructions and told Adam to have dominion and keep the garden. Never mind that Adam ignored the instructions, gave away his dominion, and did not keep the garden. Adam didn’t want to take responsibility. Adam blamed God and his gifts for his own transgression. And each of us suffered the consequence because God is infinitely good so his blaming God carries on through infinite generations with us being marked in original sin. It is why we need baptism.
But for those who trust and know that God is always good, they know He should not be blamed. They accept the consequence of what is and they request mercy to make their way back to God.
This explains why the hour of death is so important. It explains why we pray for Mary to pray for us at the hour of our death, why we ask Saint Joseph to intercede for a happy death, why we pray a chaplet of Mercy for the dying. For those who accept the consequence of sin willingly, no matter where they are or how it happens, have demonstrated that they understand what they deserve and thereby humble themselves enough to warrant eternal life, possibly spending a short time in purgatory, but being granted the merits of the Cross. We see this demonstrated by the two thieves, one who mocks God, and one who accepts his consequences.
One of the criminals who were hanged there kept deriding him and saying, “Are you not the Messiah? Save yourself and us!” But the other rebuked him, saying, “Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed have been condemned justly, for we are getting what we deserve for our deeds, but this man has done nothing wrong.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come in your kingdom.” He replied, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” Luke 23:39-43
Death is not God’s fault. God is good all the time. God turned death into everlasting life by sending us His Son.
In the same way, suffering is not God’s fault either. Sin begets suffering. It is not God who wills our suffering. Suffering is actually the fruit of sin and is in and of itself an evil that God did not will. But once it was here Jesus came to show us what to do with it and how suffering well brings redemption.
Unfortunately, because we are all connected, sometimes suffering happens because of someone else’s sin. I have seen this so much lately. People are suffering immensely at the hands of another. The suffering often brings discouragement, discouragement can bring despair. Despair is what Satan uses to make us blame God.
If you find yourself in this situation it is okay to lament to God. We have an entire book in the bible called Lamentations. We read all throughout the book of Job of his immense suffering that is not due to his own fault. We see him complain to God. But there is one thing Job does not do. He does not blame God. He does ask God why, but his question isn’t like the thief on the cross who is mocking Jesus, it’s a heartfelt asking. At no point does Job blame God, even as he wishes he were never born.
After this Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth. Job 3:1
Do not blame God for evil. This is key to the times we are in. We should do our best when we are suffering not to complain to other people. This is because discouragement can spread because most people try to fix suffering and when they can’t they get discouraged too. Take your lamentations directly to God. He understands it.
And about three o’clock Jesus cried with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Matthew 27:46
Even Saint Paul, who “rejoices” in his suffering (Colossians 1:24), rejoices not in the pain, but in the knowledge of the goodness of God who uses it to build up the church. Paul is even no stranger to speaking of his sufferings.
I am a better one: with far greater labors, far more imprisonments, with countless floggings, and often near death. Five times I have received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I received a stoning. Three times I was shipwrecked; for a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from bandits, danger from my own people, danger from gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers and sisters; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, hungry and thirsty, often without food, cold and naked. And, besides other things, I am under daily pressure because of my anxiety for all the churches. Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to stumble, and I am not indignant? If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. 2 Corinthians 11: 23-30
Why does Paul boast of his weakness? Because he knows that when we are weak we rely totally on God. We know we aren’t the Savior and we know the only way through the situation is to love God and rely on his grace and goodness.
God did not cause the evil that we see surrounding us. God came to save us from it and redeem it all.
My people, what have I done to you? or in what way have I offended you? Answer me. What more should I have done, and did not do? I led you out of the land of Egypt, and you prepared a cross for me. I opened the Red Sea before you, and you opened my side with a lance. I gave you a royal sceptre, and you have given me a crown of thorns. With great power I lifted you up, and you have hung me upon a cross. My people what have I done to you, or in what way have I offended you? Answer me. (from the Reproaches of Good Friday)
Suffering well means praising God’s goodness even if you complain to God about the pain of suffering. Suffering well means loving God and loving others even if you are too exhausted to speak. This is the way of the Saints. It’s messy and ugly and sometimes even feels like you are failing God. But if you stay trusting in His goodness, then it is not failure. It is grace pouring down and the promise of redemption. Trust that because God is good.
When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing beside her, he said to his mother, “Woman, here is your son.” 27 Then he said to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his own home. John 19:27
Here lately with all that has been happening in the world, I have prayed to the Lord to let me “see”, or “stay awake”. The answer I hear back from heaven seems to be, “view the world through the lens of the Passion.” I have to decide, in all these swirling storms who I want to be.
In the Passion narrative, though I most often relate to Mary Magdelene, it has been the Apostle John who has come time and again to my prayer. As I see things crumble in the larger church and in my own local church, I have asked myself over and over, how the Apostles must have felt.
Prior to the Passion we see Jesus tell them of their lack of understanding. They cannot seem to view what is happening beyond the material things and sufferings they see with their physical eyes. He tries to get them to see spiritually.
When the disciples reached the other side, they had forgotten to bring any bread. Jesus said to them, “Watch out, and beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” They said to one another, “It is because we have brought no bread.” And becoming aware of it, Jesus said, “You of little faith, why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not perceive? Do you not remember the five loaves for the five thousand and how many baskets you gathered? Or the seven loaves for the four thousand and how many baskets you gathered? How could you fail to perceive that I was not speaking about bread? Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees!” Then they understood that he had not told them to beware of the yeast of bread but of the teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees.Matthew 16:5-12
This passage makes me giggle a little bit. They had just witnessed Jesus multiply bread but they think he is talking about not having enough bread. He has to explain Himself. I don’t perceive that Jesus would have been angry with them when he chastises them in this passage, but perhaps, I see Him as more sorrowful. He is just looking for one, just one of them, to get it.
So as scripture moves into the Passion narrative, we can see that the interior disposition of the Apostles is still not quite where it should be. Though there is one, one who rests on Jesus’ heart.
One of his disciples—the one whom Jesus loved—was reclining close to his heart;Simon Peter therefore motioned to him to ask Jesus of whom he was speaking. John 13:23
I find it interesting that Peter turns to John to find out who Jesus is speaking about that will betray Him. Peter could have asked Him directly. But he didn’t. This speaks of fear in Peter’s heart. John was not afraid. He was resting in the Lord.
The spiritual atmosphere in these hours has shifted. This Jesus, who had been the healer, gift giver, and kingdom preacher to them, who they knew was the Messiah, now, though they love him, evokes fear in their hearts. Why?
As Jesus angered the Pharisees and Sadducees, they would have felt the walls closing in, waiting for Jesus to announce Himself and take over as King. But he wasn’t doing that. The result causes wavering. What in the world is the Lord doing? Why doesn’t He show them who He is?
Perhaps He now no longer appeared in their eyes to be the source of life. Instead, they perceived Him and the path to the cross that He willingly chose to be the source of anxiety. And they were right and correct in what they thought, at least in the worldly way, about this because Jesus let the leaders of His religion carry Him off to death using the hands of the state to do so.
This would be traumatic. They would have felt unsafe.
Can anyone relate to this as we see what is unfolding in our own church? As we see sin be made transparent and Doctrine being whipped?
The Apostles reacted and ran, not wanting to witness His death.
It was a Mass exodus of His closest friends who knew the truth He taught but fear enveloped them.
Except one. One came back. Why?
The answer is that He loved Jesus more than he hated his own suffering. He loved Jesus more than his own life.
John got outside of his own suffering and consoled the Heart of Jesus. John sacrificed safety for love. This makes him beloved because now it is God’s own love that has a hold of Him. God’s love that is self-sacrificing living in him.
The other Apostles weren’t there yet. In fact, we see in an exchange after the Resurrection when Jesus asks Peter if he loves him. The passage tells us Peter went back to his old way of life fishing and had taken off his outer garment;
That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment, for he had taken it off, and jumped into the sea. But the other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish, for they were not far from the land, only about a hundred yards off. John 21:7-8
Isn’t the reference to the outer garment interesting? Since in the Baptismal covenant we exchange the outer garment, handing our old ways to God, and being clothed in white. Peter had to put his garment back on. We would all do well to remember this when we renew our baptismal vows at Easter each year. And here again, it is John who sees! John knows it is Jesus!
Throughout all of this we can see that it is our contrition that saves us. Peter and the other Apostles become contrite when they realize Jesus’ plan was different than what they had imagined. God’s mercy pours out and they become Saints. The rejection of mercy is the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit and it is unforgivable.
But more than contrition, it is true love of God that restores us and makes us to see the spiritual realm. When you love God more than anything else you can face any trauma like John did. Your thoughts become rightly ordered and you know that God is good regardless of what is happening around you.
Ask yourself this question, do you love Jesus in the Eucharist more than you hate the suffering you’re enduring?
Saint John was more aware of the suffering of Jesus than of His own suffering. Most people don’t reach this level of sanctity. John had an openness to God’s plan that perhaps the others did not. And John, according to the mystics, went and got Mary, who in her perfection, is a ceaseless intercessor for us. We would all do well to ponder these things and view things through the lens of the Passion.
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love. 1 John 4:18
Wake up and strengthen what remains and is on the point of death, for I have not found your works perfect in the sight of my God. 3 Remember, then, what you received and heard; obey it and repent. If you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what hour I will come to you. Revelation 3:2-3
I have been pondering of late what it means to be awake and asleep as so often is referred to in scripture. Being awake is being aware of the Spiritual realm and reality that exists beyond what we can see. Being asleep is being taken in by the things of the world.
In the Gospel of Matthew we see the story of Jesus being asleep on the ship when a storm arises.
And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him. A windstorm suddenly arose on the sea, so great that the boat was being swamped by the waves, but he was asleep. And they went and woke him up, saying, “Lord, save us! We are perishing!” And he said to them, “Why are you afraid, you of little faith?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a dead calm. They were amazed, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him?”Matthew 8:23-27
In this story the paradox is that Jesus, though He is physically sleeping, is the only one who is really awake (of course He is God!). The storm, be it a literal storm, or any other kind of storm life throws at us, distracts us making us look at the world and the things in it. It steals the peace of God, whose face we should be adoring.
We all can relate to the Apostles in this episode, but really, all they had to do was look at His sleeping face and trust that if He is able to sleep through this, they would be fine. And not just fine but glorified. But they didn’t see the spiritual reality. They only saw the material reality of the world swirling around them. He is the keeper of these storms. After all the healings and all the good news they have witnessed prior to this boat trip, they still believed He would let them perish. Did they not know God’s goodness? They were the ones who were asleep. They had not yet become temples of the living God.
Then we see later, while Jesus is in the Garden of Gethsemane, that He is asking them to stay awake and pray. Yet they physically fall asleep.
Then he came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and he said to Peter, “So, could you not stay awake with me one hour? Stay awake and pray that you may not come into the time of trial; the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Again he went away for the second time and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” Again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. So leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words. Then he came to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and taking your rest? Now the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Get up, let us be going. Look, my betrayer is at hand.” Matthew 26:40-46
This scripture speaks about their eyes being heavy. Heaviness comes from carrying a weight that isn’t necessary. Jesus is the Savior, praying to do the will of the Father, yet they still are not awake to the full reality of this. Why do you think he wants them to watch and pray? It is for their sakes. So they may not “come into the time of trial.” He wants them to spiritually see what is happening and pray – which unites them to the Father. It is for their sake He asks them to be awake. They are unable to. The result is that when the storm of the Passion comes, they run away. They deny and fight the Father’s will. They doubt what they have known.
The only one of the Apostles who stood and saw the offering on the cross was John, who many mystics tell us ran to get Mary. She was awake and praying uniting her will to the Father. Her intercession was for all of them, but in a particular way for John.
When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing beside her, he said to his mother, “Woman, here is your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his own home. John 19:26-27
When we look at the Blessed Virgin Mary we can see the dogma of indefectibility. That is, we see the church herself is indefectible remaining the Institution of Salvation, founded by Christ, until the end of the world – because she was already perfected in the Blessed Virgin Mary through whom the sanctifying grace of God pours upon us.
Mary is and always has been awake and she has appeared to us throughout the centuries to Mother the church back on the path of truth. She looks like we look in all the places she appears, showing us the image of God in our own faces. She warns us and calls us back.
It isn’t enough to pray a Rosary in fear of what is to come. We must pray in love and trust of the glory that God has promised; taking her as our Mother, so that we the church can be perfected without falling asleep.
You may right now be in a situation at your own church wondering if you should leave, seeing the weaknesses of your own Priests whose spirit may be willing but whose flesh is weak. It is here that Christ calls us to be awake, for our own sake. See the face of God instead of the storm. When we hide and run away from our crosses, it just changes the cross we carry. The reality is that no matter where we go, the storm is raging. We must pray like never before for our Priests and our families. We must be a lightning rod that grounds the lightning strikes in a posture of adoration that moves outward to those around us. We must trust that what comes our way is meant to bring glory, even when it feels like destruction. God only wants to destroy that which keeps us from Him. He makes it transparent first.
If we unite ourselves in prayer and trust and place ourselves under the mantle of the Blessed Virgin, we will see more clearly. We will be awake. This is not easy. It is a suffering. Nothing draws you closer to God faster than suffering and still believing. It is a call to abandonment to the Divine Will.
Lastly, we know they will be true disciples of Jesus Christ, imitating his poverty, his humility, his contempt of the world and his love. They will point out the narrow way to God in the pure truth of the holy Gospel and not according to the maxims of the world. Their hearts will not be troubled, nor will they show favor to anyone; they will not spare or heed or fear any man, however powerful he may be. They will have the two-edged sword of the Word of God in their mouths and the blood-stained standard of the Cross on their shoulders. They will carry the crucifix in their right hand and the rosary in their left, and the holy names of Jesus and Mary in their heart. The simplicity and self-sacrifice of Jesus will be reflected in their whole behavior. Saint Louisde Monfort TD:#59
I was in prayer the other day speaking to Jesus about the state of the church. Seeing the trajectory we are on can be scary, and yet, our prayer matters. I thought of how during Covid we had no access to the Eucharist and how that is the devil’s ultimate plan, to bring that about permanently. I have seen Priest after Priest be brought down for various different reasons. I see good Priests exhausted and frustrated. I see the attack they’re undergoing. I see the fortification they need, for if we have no Priest, we have no Mass, no Eucharist. I spoke to the Lord about all of this. I prayed. I closed my eyes.
I found myself inside the tomb. The tomb of death. The tomb of all the things we fear. The fruition of all of our sin, of all of my sin, sitting before me in the darkness of the tomb. I felt so alone, so abandoned, so scared. And the Lord, who knows everything, spoke, “you’re in the darkness of the Valley of the shadow of death. The tomb. You cannot see. You feel alone. But what do you smell?” Startled by the question, I inhaled deeply. And I smelled roses. And then I was surrounded by Roses. I recorded in my journal what was said to me. As always, I state, I write in my journal as if the Lord were speaking to me. If what I have written the church says is wrong, then the church is correct and I am wrong.
January 14, 2024
Beloved Lily of the Father,
Enter into the tomb. No Priest. No Mass. Feel the suffocation of death, but for a moment, the wages of sin are felt. Rather now, notice and breathe in the sweet aroma of Roses. The smell of eternal life. Walk through Salvation History from where the heavens announced me all the way to the Glorification of My Mother. All of Creation bows down. Come with her. She walks you towards the beatific vision. Towards a light and a glory you cannot fathom. The world is passing away, keep your eyes on the eternal. Be not afraid of the road ahead. Hold the Hand of the August Queen of Heaven. Pray the Rosary and listen to the echo until the tomb is empty and glory rises.
John 3:5
Your Divine Spouse
August Queen of Heaven, Sovereign Mistress of the Angels, thou, who from the beginning hast received from God the power of the mission to crush the head of Satan, we humbly implore thee, to send thy holy legions so that under thy command and by thy power, they may drive the devils away, everywhere, fight them, subduing their boldness and thrust them down into the abyss.
Who is like unto God?
O good and tender Mother, thou willst always be our love and our hope.
O divine Mother, send Thy holy angels to defend me and drive far away from me the cruel enemy.
If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you. James 1:5
Over the years I have had the privilege of reading the writings of my friend and fellow Catholic, Rob Marco. He is one of the few I read regularly for his deep insight and male perspective on the things of faith and reason. In the divisive times in our church I have found Rob one of the few voices that cuts through the rhetoric to what is good, true, and beautiful. He makes me think, “now there is a true disciple of Jesus Christ.” I am overjoyed that Rob has published his first book, Wisdom and Folly, Essays on Life, Faith and Everything In Between. I am honored to be able to interview him about his first book and to share his insights with you the reader.
Author, Rob Marco
Rob, I know you have led a very interesting life and are a convert to the Catholic Faith. For those reading this who don’t know you, can you give a brief background about yourself?
It’s funny…the other night we were at a party with a bunch of Catholic friends and the host of the party gave me a poster with a quote by Jack Kerouac, who she knew was a huge literary influence in my life when I started writing thirty years ago:
“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or a saw a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.”
Kerouac was a Catholic, but during the post-war fifties and sixties, it was a crazy time and like many writers and artists of that time, got really taken up with Buddhism and Eastern spirituality. Maybe some of that rubbed off on me, since I didn’t have an explicit Christian upbringing and only one of my parents (my dad) is Catholic, and my brothers and I were never raised in any kind of faith. I started reading the Dhammapada and other Buddhist texts and teachings in high school, and practiced meditation. But I also had a series of influences at that time that kind of rubbed off on me as well–my best friend was a Christian, I hiked the Appalachian Trail with a guy whose mother was a faithful Catholic (and who I am convinced prayed me into the Church), I went to a Christian hardcore show in high school where the pastor of the church got up on stage and prayed for the Holy Spirit to touch those in the crowd and convicted me, and I had a personal encounter with the Lord whose Name I didn’t know when I lost my map on a solo backpacking trip in the wilderness when I was 17. I was looking for Truth, had a feeling I was a sinner in need of a Savior as I was unable to save myself, and was touched by the Lord who took my hand and gently guided me to the doors of the Catholic Church at the age of 18. I detail all this in my written testimony for the Coming Home Network here for anyone who would want to read it. 25 years after my conversion and becoming Catholic, I can say the Lord was patient with me and never left my side, even though my walk of faith has never been a straight line. What I love about that Kerouac quote is that it still holds true for me today, but in a different light: the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved. These are the saints, the fools for Christ both living and those who have gone to their blessed repose. They are not looking for self-indulgent “kicks” but to give themselves fully to the work of discipleship, what I like to call “full-throated Catholicism.” I don’t have a lot of tolerance for lukewarm anything, but especially not lukewarm Catholicism. Nothing could be more offensive to the Lord, and so I try to live my life as a Catholic and a disciple of Jesus Christ in emulation of those holy fools, men and women of integrity, discipline, and hope mostly because anything else in the life of faith is just not worth living for.
Realizing that God’s timing is everything, what made you finally decide to finally write a book now?
Well, I’ve essentially been writing this book for the past ten years or so, but it was only by happenstance that I was approached by a publisher who was familiar with my blog and articles who asked if he could compile them in book form for publication. My wife has been gently nagging me to have a kind of legacy-project to pass on to our three kids that tangible and wasn’t online, though other friends and readers have been saying the same. I kept kicking the can down the road, not feeling for years like anything I had written was worthy of publication. So this was serendipitous, since I had almost eight hundred essays written to date. Now she can die happy, haha. I realized also, though, that this may be a timely contribution to other new or seasoned Catholics (and even non-believers or non-Catholic Christians) who may be trying to figure out how to live a Catholic life in the midst of all the chaos–both in the world and in the Church–when there doesn’t seem to be a blueprint for doing so. I don’t have it all figured out, nor do I have to, and I’m in good company I think. But I know where I’ve found bread in my poverty. Although the book is almost 400 pages, it is arranged topically by themes I think every Catholic can relate to: friendship, family, marriage, manhood, prayer, faith, discipleship, the Church, etc. So, there are ten or so short essays on each of these topics…you can pick it up and put it down and nibble away at it easily and non-sequentially. There’s a lot packed into each essay, good food for thought, and a lot of them are reflections from my own life but can easily apply to all of our lives. Not many of us can sit down and read War and Peace these days with our short attention spans hijacked by social media, podcasts, and smartphones. I’m no exception. So, I wrote this book in physical form to show the other beggars where the bread is in a way in a way that is accessible and easily digestible and tangible but pushes them to be one of those mad ones, a saint living outside the boxes prescribed for us that we are “supposed” to fit into–to be truly and authentically Catholic.
Do you have a favorite essay in the book?
I did three phases of edits of the final manuscript, which was about 1,200 pages or so in totality. Near the end I thought I would get physically ill, like a man who couldn’t eat one more sushi roll at a Chinese buffet, I was so tired of editing and tediously combing for typos. But it never crossed my mind that “this is crap, all of this is crap,” and I stand behind all of it, because I felt more like the reluctant Jonah or Jeremiah when it came to writing it. When I sit down to write, I just try to be a pencil in the hand of God to say what He wants said. What’s funny is some of my favorite essays (and the ones that got the most traction among readers) were the ones that I banged out in like half an hour before breakfast or late a night without thinking much of them. Essays like “The Church Will Hurt You,” “The Time for Teaching and Preaching Are Over,” “Getting On Base,” are challenging and unorthodox, and all the essays on Marriage and Family I like because they are more self-reflective. I love “It’s Been God All Along” about my high school friend K and her coming back to Confession after thirty years on account of reading some things from my blog (as well as other graces she experienced); it makes me teary-eyed every time I read it to be reminded how good God is. There is really something for everyone, which I think is what is so great about the book.
I noticed you opened with a prayer from Saint Pio of Pietrelcina, are there many particular Saints who you feel walk with you in life and in your writing?
When I was reviewing the final manuscript I asked my editor/publisher, “Where did this come from? Did I add this or did you?” I couldn’t remember, and neither could he. I mean I love St. Pio, but I can’t recall for the life of me if and when I added that quote at the beginning of the book. So maybe it was St. Pio himself or the Holy Spirit inserting something that I couldn’t explain otherwise. Kevin Wells in the foreword highlighted my affinity for St. Philip Neri, who I would consider a kind of patron and spiritual brother. He didn’t take himself too seriously and loved jokes and laughing, but also had a serious and fervent love of God so much that he felt his heart would explode at times. I think he’s a great saint for our age, and one I especially identify with. I’ve also grown to love St. Therese the Little Flower, though like many people I couldn’t stomach her initially. I talked about her in the essays “When You Can’t Take the Stairs” and “Trad Piety Vs. An Abasement of Trust.” As a more traditional-leaning Catholic, that danger of pride and neo-Jansenism is always kind of hiding around the corner so St. Therese is my bleed-valve when those things start crowding in my spiritual life. I really want to see a kind of “third-way” that synthesizes the best of Tradition and Charity, holy Fear of God and child-like Trust, love of the traditional liturgy and a love of the poor. I don’t think these things are at odds, but kind of a “complete protein” for living a fervent and balanced Catholic life that doesn’t degenerate into tribalism or ghettos. We can’t be strictly social workers and we can’t wall up in our parishes praying the rosary to protect ourselves from the world either. We need to radically live out the works of mercy in Matthew 25 while being stepped and fortified in personal and communal prayer. Call me crazy, but I have great hope for renewal with this vision of a “third way.”
You do not shy away from hard topics in this book, your section on the church hits on many of the wounds Catholics are struggling with currently. You even include a letter to your Bishop regarding politicians and communion. Do you find it difficult to write about such things and if so, how do you prepare interiorly to tackle these topics?
That’s a great question, and one I hadn’t really thought about much since writing for me is as much a compulsion for me as it is a craft and an art–try as I might to hang it up for good, I keep coming back to the keyboard. You know the way Samuel goes back to Eli three times saying “you called me?”. I feel like Eli a lot of times on that third visit, saying, “ah, maybe the Holy Spirit really does want this thing said after all.”
I am not a super disciplined or structured person by nature, so that’s a struggle and probably why I tend to write shorter pieces at all hours of the day and night that have some meat, rather than any kind of lengthy or heavily researched academic pieces. There’s enough of those out there, as well as fluffier feel-good devotional things. So, I try to work in various disciplines to keep pins in my faith life–11pm holy hour every Tuesday, First Friday and First Saturday devotions, daily rosary and mental prayer, short ejaculatory prayer throughout the day, and of course Sunday Mass and monthly Confession. But I’m also not wedded to the Church, in the sense that I have a normal secular day job, I don’t work for the diocese or Church, and I don’t pay my mortgage or bills with writing. I have never monetized my blog. I even donated the royalties for this book, because for me I never wrote for money but because I have a debt to pay–the debt of my ransoming from sin and death in Christ.
So, I feel a sense of freedom to write about things that maybe other Catholic writers, authors, and pundits won’t touch for fear of alienating their base or jeopardizing their careers, but that are also things that should or need to be said–because many people are thinking them. So, I think when the Spirit of God is with you, hopefully, you have the spirit of David before Goliath–a kind of holy and zealous naivety that lets those things happen because you are a “dodo” as Mother Angelica used to say. God needs more dodos who count the cost as it says in Scripture, but have the boldness to do (or write) the hard thing anyway. Business-as-usual or status quo thinking will not get us very far in the Church or in our lives of discipleship in these times–we need holy fools and radical disciples willing to do difficult things, because these are hard times. But as it says in scripture, “The Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom should I fear?”
What is your hope for people who will read this book?
I have said previously that if I can lead one person to Christ for the salvation of their souls, I can die happy. I don’t know if I’ve done that, but my hope is that the book will strengthen both lukewarm and seasoned Catholics and get them to grow in, live out, and take risks for their faith; that non-Catholics will find that their preconceptions of Catholics may be off-base; and that non-believers will after reading the book have a hound from heaven chasing them down until they arrive at the doors of the Church. There was a time earlier on when I was trying to make a name for myself, but fortunately that impetus withered on the vine with the praying of the Litany of Humility, and I think the motivations are more pure: to be all things to all men, so that by all possible means some may be saved (1 Cor 9:22).
Thanks Rob for such a great interview and congratulations on your first book.
To all my readers out there, I really do hope you take time to purchase Rob’s book, here.
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. Mark 12:30
I was listening to a video of Voddie Baucham that is well worth the watch. While I wholeheartedly am a daughter of the Church, I rejoice when a Protestant speaks truth with clarity, even while our own leaders confuse. I have, of late, felt like a battered spouse as my friend so adeptly wrote about, so when something cuts through with clarity, it is worth sharing to help us focus and navigate these tumultuous times. If you haven’t time to watch the video, I will share briefly in my own words some of its insight here but I will use a Catholic bible translation (NCB) and add a lot of my own commentary.
So often we hear that “love is love”, and if any correction is offered a person can get labeled as “hateful.” But the truth is, true love is not hateful and there are things that the bible does tell us not to love.
Do not love the world or what is in the world. If anyone does love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 1 John 2:15
So we ask ourselves, what “world” is being talked about that we are not to love? The verse goes on to say;
For everything that is in the world— the concupiscence of the flesh, the concupiscence of the eyes, and the pride of life— comes not from the Father but from the world. And the world with all its enticements is passing away, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. 1 John 2:16-17
This verse spells out the “world” we are not to love. While most bible translations state, “desires” of the flesh, “lust” of the eyes and the “pride” of life, I love that this NCB translation uses the word “concupiscence.” I am not here to go into which translation is right. The Pastor in the video does not use concupiscence and still gets the point across clearly. I am here just to expound on what he was saying, and the word concupiscence reminds us of our Catholic roots and the fact that we are fallen and desire to do wrong things. We became disordered when we fell from grace, and we all have concupiscence. When we start to call our concupiscence and our sin “irregular” we do a disservice to the gravity of the fall from grace against an infinitely good God and we do a disservice to the immensity of God’s saving grace that wants to elevate and divinize us.
His divine power has bestowed on us everything that is necessary for life and for devotion through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and virtue. By these he has given us his precious promises, great beyond all price, so that through them you may escape from the corruption with which evil desires have infected the world and thereby may come to share in the divine nature. 2 Peter 1:3-4
Something “irregular” invokes imagery of being able to be made regular by man. While something sinful can only be made whole and healed and better than regular through surrender to the Divine Will. The latter takes repentance and reliance on God, not man. In our efforts to be empathetic I think we have become cruel. We steal from people the knowledge and understanding of the love of God by watering down truth in luke warm language.
When our source becomes anything other than God alone (Mark 10:18), then the source of our love is not of God. Thus, when the love comes from wrong desire or from pride, we can know that this love is not of God and we are told, do not love it. Our society seems unaware of this. Many of our church leaders do too. If I desire to fornicate outside of marriage, that is a disordered desire and must come to God and beg his mercy upon me. How do I know? Because scripture tells us;
Are you not aware that wrongdoers will never inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived! Fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, male prostitutes, sodomites, thieves, extortioners, drunkards, slanderers, swindlers—none of these will inherit the kingdom of God. Some of you were once such as these. However, now you have been washed clean, you have been sanctified, you have been justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11
We can know these things are wrong through natural law and because of the harm that comes to others and ourselves when we do these things. We may think there’s no harm, but there is, and it is why we are told not to do them. It isn’t because God wants to restrict us, but because God wants us to be glorified in Him, not of ourselves.
It isn’t just the source of love that must be from God, but the object of our love must also be Godly. If we love the object so much so that it becomes our identity – I AM statements of anything other than being a child of God, then it is ungodly. It is actually idolatry. We all sin but when we identify as our sin or we identify others by their sin it is not of God.
We can clearly see that loving the world has a twofold problem, a bad source (concupiscence) and a bad object (sin). The fruit of all this can also clearly be seen. The fruit is division, violence, depression, rage, anxiety, death and war. Love is not love. A bad source and a bad object can send you to a place where there is no love if you don’t choose to change. True love is a person and Jesus really is the answer.
Ask yourself what is it that you love? If it isn’t God alone then bring your desires and attachments before God and surrender them. The Holy Spirit is just waiting to dwell within you, so you bear good fruit.
In contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against such things. Galatians 5:22-23
Veil of Veronica 