For nation will rise against nation and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places: all this is but the beginning of the birth pangs. Matthew 24:7

For years now I have meditated on the Passion of Christ. I have pictured myself standing at the foot of the cross and handing all of my sin to Him. Meditating on the Passion gives me awe and wonder knowing that the Creator of the Universe atoned for me by dying this way, even before I had repented. Knowing that in time, I would be born into original sin and be cleansed in baptism and I would commit personal sin, and find my way to Him to have His merit applied so as to save me.

But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

You see, for me, meditating on the Passion, is meditating on what I know I deserve and what He took on for me. I see my sin in His wounds. I love Him ever more fiercely and I am grateful, which makes me turn from sin and desire to purify. I want to be immaculate, so as to never do that to His body again.

There is one human person who did not wound Jesus, but rather who walked with Him in His suffering. People often think by honoring Mary something is taken away from God, but nothing could be further from the truth. Mary, rather than taking away from God, shows us the immensity of God. She shows us that God is not one being among many with whom we compare power and status, rather He is All Being, and everything is in Him and her cooperation with Him is a recognition of His all being, His I AM WHO AM.

for in him all things in heaven and on earth were created, things visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or powers—all things have been created through him and for him. Col. 1:16

And He chooses to share his glory, his mediation, his redemption, with her, and by extension with us.

 I am now rejoicing in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am completing what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church. Col. 1:24

Because God is so great, he shares His greatness with Mary, and with us, whom she is Mother of. The church is now the place where people encounter Christ. We are His Mystical Body and we are participating in cooperation with His salvific work, which is complete in Him, who is everything.

Mary’s participation in this is singular, in that, she as the perfect human person, cooperated in such a way with the Divine Person, that He completed in her His plan for His creation. We can see Jesus’ work through her.

It is here that I believe that God wants us to share in Mary’s Immaculate Conception. Our journey on earth is a place of journey to the purging of evil so that we no longer know it in our hearts.

It was through the suffering of the Cross that the Church was birthed. It was through the suffering of the Cross that the Apostles had Pentecost pour down. The Mystical Incarnation for the Saints, which requires purity, requires suffering through many crucifixions. This crucifixion of the Saints takes many forms, for some, like Peter, it is an actual crucifixion for the sake of Christ. For others, like Mother Teresa, it is a complete dying to self so that you do nothing but serve the God who thirsts. But the path is the same, it is a path of suffering with love that births Christ alive in a soul.

For Mary, she was Immaculately conceived and her walk was as close of a walk with Christ as one could possibly be. In fact, Saint John Eudes in his work, The Admirable Heart of Mary, stated that Mary’s Fiat at the Annunciation extended to her entire life, including Jesus asking her consent to the sacrifice at Calvary. She was pure and in the will of the Father for the entire journey. Jesus wants to take us there, to the Divine Will of the Father.

For us, we are purified of original sin at baptism, but our journey out of concupiscence is one of suffering. Suffering by letting go of the world, the flesh and the devil, the things that keep us from purification. When we let go of these things we are led on a path to Mystical Incarnation. A birth of purity of heart.

In realizing this, I thought that it seems harder for me to meditate on the Nativity than on the Passion. I found myself in the position of wondering if I were good enough to be able to hold the infant Jesus. Was I purified enough to hold the small seemingly helpless God in my arms? Would I be struck dead like Uzzah?

I think this is the journey of the birth pains that Jesus speaks about in Matthew 24. Will we, will I, be able to endure the sufferings listed in that passage and still be able to love and will the good of another, especially one who hates me? Can I come out on the other side with the infant Jesus in my arms, with the incarnation in my heart?

I set out to meditate on the Nativity.

I found myself in a cave in Bethlehem and I was standing in front of the Blessed Virgin Mary who was holding the baby Jesus. She was so beautiful and he was glowing in her arms.

I asked her permission to hold him, bracing myself for an answer of no, but to my surprise she said yes. She gently handed me the baby and for a moment my eyes locked with his and I could see the whole earth and universe in his eyes, like translucent water.

Suddenly, in my periphery I could see demons trying to attack me as I held him, they were growling and pushing my head. Still looking at Jesus, I cried out for him to help me, even as he lay helpless in my arms. When I cried out for help Joseph appeared. He wrapped his cloak around me and Mary and the baby Jesus and I felt safe.

Joseph says we have to go and go quickly. In my head I thought, “are we going to Egypt?” And as if he could hear my thoughts he says, “we are going underground”. I wonder if I am hearing correctly, and again he says, “underground”. That is where my meditation ended.

Though I am not sure exactly what this meditation means, as I look around at the world, I can certainly see the signs of the times.

As I pondered all of this I thought of how Joseph is Patron and protector of the Universal Church. I know we live in precarious times. I also know none of us will come out unscathed. We will not be raptured, we will not be in a protective bubble somewhere untouched, we will be in battle against powers and principalities and our goal is perseverance. Perseverance in the belief that God is good. Perseverance in letting go of all that is not of Him. Perseverance in faith, hope and charity, so that charity will reign in our hearts.

Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,  through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand, and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God.  And not only that, but we also boast in our afflictions, knowing that affliction produces endurance,  and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,  and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us. Romans 5:1-5