The Deluge begins

Posted on November 14, 2015 by veilofveronica

2015-10-09 Fall Break Fall Creek Falls 2015 027

“What man among you having a hundred sheep and losing one of them would not leave the ninety-nine in the desert and go after the lost one until he finds it? Luke 15:4

I am so saddened by the events in France.  All those lives lost.  It is only a matter of time, it seems to me, before a deluge of war like that comes here to America.  If we are paying attention, we can see the signs.  I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know we must keep our eyes on Christ, and we must pray for those that are furthest away from God.  That Divine Mercy, the merciful God, will stand before those who are unprepared and were lost. The New York times reports ISIS said this attack is just the first of the storm.

On November 5 before this France incident, at the advice of my Spiritual Director, I took much to prayer, including praying about the downed Russian plane.  I was not sure whether I should blog about my prayer experience, but after last nights attacks, I feel the Lord is calling me to do so.  I still experience occasionally a haziness that comes to my eyes when I am in adoration and sometimes during the Consecration at Mass.  I will write excerpts about what I feel the Lord told me while in adoration on Nov. 5.  As I have stated before, I do not hear a voice, I mostly have thoughts that pop into my head and I write them down.  Here is what I recorded;

Beloved,

I hear your prayers and I am working all things for the good.  Trust me.  There is a reason so many families a month are moving to your area.  This is part of my plan.  All hell is about to break loose and I have placed my disciples where they are supposed to be.

Russia Consecrated.

These things you worry about are a drop in the ocean for me.  I can move mountains and move them I will.  Keep your eyes on me.  You are not imagining the haze that comes to your eyes.   I haze the physical world so you will look at the spiritual world.  

Look at the Monstrance.  What do you see?  -> The Infant of Prague.

I show you the signs that have been given over the years that point to my reality.  Grace, Purity, Humility.  These are the keys to navigate the storm just as the Blessed Mother told you.

I allow the storm because the nations and the people asked for me to leave.  Without my presence in their hearts love is not present and the storm is the result.

Now look at the Monstrance.  What do you see? -> The Sacred Heart of Jesus.

The Sacred Heart burns with passion of love for all humankind.  I seek each soul.  My son’s heart burns for each soul.  Seek solace from it.

Of the Russian plane….. to this I say, my ways are not your ways.  My thoughts are not your thoughts.  Trust me and don’t worry.  I have prepared you.  Do not despair.  Know my love.  You are where you are supposed to be.  

Look at the Monstrance.  What do you see? -> A woman clothed in the sun with the moon at her feet and a crown of 12 stars.

Mediatrix of Grace.  She will cover you in her mantle.  Do not fear for your children.  They are mine.  Do not fear at all.  Rest your pen and sit with me awhile.

-Your Abba

  • I must note I cannot interpret all of what is being said here.  My limited human comprehension doesn’t allow me to know.  I do get the sense that there are certain areas of each country where the Godly have been placed together for a purpose and that we must support one another.  Placing ourselves in the hands of the Sacred Heart and Immaculate Heart is key.  Invoking the help of our angels and arch angels as well.  They are here to help us.
  • I will also note, back in Nov of 2012, I was in adoration and kept hearing in my head “Divine Mercy Marathon.”  At the time I thought God was asking me to run a marathon for Divine Mercy.  A task I found impossible, so I was trying to bargain with God, saying maybe I can run a half marathon for you Lord.  I even wrote to Fr. Michael Gaitley about running a Divine Mercy half marathon.  It wasn’t until April of 2013 that I realized what the message was about;  The Boston Marathon Bombing.  That more than anything the Lord is asking us to pray for Divine Mercy.  Because of this experience, I do not try to know the meaning of what comes to me in prayer, I just try to relay the message.  With that said, while praying the Rosary a few days ago.  I felt the Lord say, “December 7, a day that will live in infamy.  December 8, the hope for tomorrow, the Immaculate Conception.”  I have no idea what this means.  But I will be praying for Divine Mercy for the world.
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Yes I believe in Miracles and the Power of Prayer

Posted on November 11, 2015 by veilofveronica

woman healed

A woman suffering hemorrhages for twelve years came up behind him and touched the tassel on his cloak.  She said to herself, “If only I can touch his cloak, I shall be cured.”  Jesus turned around and saw her, and said, “Courage, daughter! Your faith has saved you.” And from that hour the woman was cured. Matthew 9:20-22

This weekend I went on a Cursillo retreat.  If you have not ever gone on one, you should. The power of the Holy Spirit was clearly present.  And I felt God say clearly, “see how I gather my people?”  It was healing and spiritual.  I made new friends with whom I think I will have lasting relationships.  I felt energized by the spirit.  I can see the colors of the life more clearly.  De Colores.

Because I was gone for 3 full days and did not use technology like we do at home, I was very unaware of the outside world.  I prayed for Eva.  I know I had many friends who did pray for her as well, both at Cursillo and all over the states and in other countries.  Friends who placed her at the Lord’s feet.

When I came home, Eva had updated her facebook page with the following;

Rather than 90 days to live, I now have 24 months!!  Also I have been approved for a new procedure not yet available at Vanderbilt called the Nano Knife.  I will fly to Chicago …for an evaluation at one of the Cancer Centers of America.  They have 13 other options doe me if that does not work.  Thank you for all the prayers!  I think they are working!!!

I can say without a doubt I know they are working.  Believe in miracles and the power of prayer.  She has more time with her husband and son.  It looked hopeless just a short while ago, and now hope abounds.  I want to thank each and everyone of you out there who have held this woman in your prayers.  Please keep doing so.  God is good all the time. All the time, God is good.

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Redemptive Suffering

Posted on October 28, 2015 by veilofveronica

For Eva Vaughan who is suffering from Pancreatic Cancer.

Our Lady of Sorrows and Man of Sorrows by Kathleen Carrour lady of sorrowsMan of Sorrows

Jesus says; ‘My daughter, I want to instruct you on how you are to rescue souls through sacrifice and prayer. You will save more souls through prayer and suffering than will a missionary through his teachings and sermons alone. I want to see you as a sacrifice of living love, which only then carries weight before Me… And great will be your power for whomever you intercede. – Diary of St. Faustina

On Saturday I received a package in the mail from my cousin.  She sent her two latest paintings to me to give to Eva.  She wrote a note saying she hoped the beauty in them helped her in the hospital room and that Our Lord and Our Lady knew and shared her suffering.  I took the pictures up as soon as I was able and gave them to Eva.  I read the letter my cousin wrote.   She told me how beautiful they were.  Her Catholic cousin had come into town to help love and care for Eva.  Her cousin seemed touched by the paintings too.

On Sunday morning, October 25, 2015, I received a call from Eva.  She told me she was looking at the pictures and they were beautiful.  She told me she wanted to become Catholic.  She was baptized Catholic but had not received the other initiation sacraments.  She wanted to receive them. She told me she did not know if she had 3 months, 6 months, or longer left to live, but that whatever time she did have left, she wanted it to be beautiful.  She said she had never felt so close to Christ.  She wants her husband and son to know that love.  She wants them to know the love of Christ.  Would I please bring a Priest?

I spoke with Father Bala, and indeed because it was considered an emergency, and Eva was in danger of death, he could administer these Sacraments to her.  It’s funny, Father was supposed to be on a trip to the Holy Land, but due to last minute complications was unable to go.  I now know why.  We decided to go see her on Monday.

As I rode in the car on Monday up to the hospital with Father, I realized I did not need to tell him where to go.  As we drove, he pointed out every hospital, nursing home, veteran’s home, and children’s home along the way.  This quiet Priest knew where all these places were because he visits the sick, the elderly, the lonely, the poor, and the dying.  I never knew.  I mean, I knew, but I didn’t know, not to that extent.  “Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.” Matthew 25:40

When we arrived, Eva was groggy and tired, but she knew exactly what we were there for.  She asked for my cousin’s pictures and she placed the one of Mary against her body and wrapped her tiny tired arms around the one of Jesus.  I couldn’t help but think, Mary always points to her son, Jesus, and the way she placed the pictures depicted this.  Mary watched Jesus suffer on the cross, just as we were watching Eva suffer now.

We left the room for awhile so Eva could make her confession to Fr. Bala.  We came back in and we started the rest.  She was tired, so we held her.  It was her mother, me, a good friend, and her husband.  She responded to each thing Father asked.  When it came time for communion, Fr. said, “Body of Christ.”  Eva, said, “Amen,” and then she repeated “Body of Christ,” as if knowing for sure, yes, this is the Body of Christ.  She was so tired. She was Confirmed “sealed by the Holy Spirit.” She fell into sleep.  As we left, we all had tears in our eyes.

I was overwhelmed by the love in the room.  The husband, mother and friend who love her so dearly, who cried watching her suffer.  The love she has for her husband and her son that makes her fight so hard to stay alive.  She has changed me.  She has brought into perspective living in the present moment.  She lives love and lives thankfully for every moment she has.  I think her suffering has brought more people closer to Christ.  That is redemptive suffering.   Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Mathew 16:24-25.  Our goal is heaven and not the riches of this world.  Her suffering has made that clear to me. Heaven is total love, and she is sacrificing here for the sake of love.  Her suffering is not in vain.  I know Eva is not perfect, but the light in her eyes and of her life bring a brightness that is rare.  If everyone loved like that, the world would be a whole lot better.  It is a stark contrast to the news on TV these days.

I am so blessed to be a part of her life.  I am ashamed that she has lived in my neighborhood for years and I did not know her until recently.  I have had people contact me that are praying for her.  I know of 3 pilgrimages in 3 countries where people are praying for her.  People are pouring out their love for her.  I know our God is a God of miracles and my hope is that He will give one to her.   Please continue to pray for her.

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Joy and Hope

Posted on October 20, 2015 by veilofveronica

waves and sun

“Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor… Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting.”
–Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta

 You know my friend Eva is battling pancreatic cancer. Probably what you don’t know is that a little over a year ago Eva and her husband adopted a little boy who desperately needs his mother. By the grace of God she found him and rescued him. She wants to live for his sake. He finally has a mother who loves him, and then this diagnosis…. It is always in these moments, in the stark suffering, I question God.  Because what I want more than anything is for her to be cured.  But I know His ways are not my ways, and in the end I always ask that His will be done.

On Sunday, Eva asked openly for help, and for prayers. She asked me if I could put together a prayer service for her and ask people to come over since she was going to have Whipple on Monday for her cancer. Since it was fall break I wasn’t sure if people would come. I put the word out. And people came. We read the Gospel of Luke 8:40-56. The healing of the hemorrhaging woman who touched his cloak, and the raising of the dead girl.  We prayed over her. We sang. After it was done her husband said when this all started that he wasn’t a believer. But that the one thing that all the people who came to help had in common was a belief in Jesus Christ who went to church, and that the love we had poured out for his wife, well he wanted that, and we made him want to believe. And he thanked us. My Priest did try to come but was unfortunately stuck in a traffic jam that didn’t move. But the Body of Christ was there present. There were Baptists, Lutherans, Catholics, and others. All of us praying over her together. Each bringing something different to the table in support.

I looked around the room and felt the Holy Spirit. Eva said, there has been blessing in the cancer because her family is now closer than ever, and because we were all there. She said some things in their lives had changed for the better. Coming from a woman who vomits daily. The thankfulness was amazing. I thought, this is how it’s supposed to be. Neighbor coming together with neighbor to support one another. In that moment we’re all just human, all with the same hope. That Eva live. We prayed for the surgeons hands to guided. We also prayed for supernatural healing. We prayed the Our Father at the end, asking “Thy will be done.” When I left, I didn’t have anxiety, because all of us, we took the next right step, and spread hope to others. Jesus I trust in you. This experience has really taught me to live in the present moment and face what’s right in front of me. Knowing all the time God is holding us in the palm of His hand.

The surgery didn’t work.  They couldn’t get the cancer.  She is faced with the reality of death.  I cried and cried.  Another blogger, Charlie Johnston, reminded me that we on earth are the Church Militant.  Heaven is the Church Triumphant.  What an adept image. We are the Church Militant.  Father Z wrote on his blog;

As a Catholic who is militans, “militant”, that means that we dedicate ourselves with obedience and zeal to the role we are given in life through our calling and through our talents and good inclinations, our vocations in life.  It means that we are also prepared to fight the enemy wherever and whenever threats to the salvation of our own souls and our neighbor’s souls present themselves.  It means working together as units and not as individuals merely.   It means good conditioning and through drills in knowing well our Catholic Faith and practicing virtues and discipline in the use of the Sacraments.  It means submission to the Church’s teaching authority and her duly ordaining pastors.  It means fidelity, loyalty and even a willingness to die.

We are battling all kinds of evils here in this world.  Some caused by sickness, and others by evil hands.  Eva had the Church Militant present working together to pray for her.  We pray for her body and her soul.

For now, I will pray with zeal for a supernatural cure for her.  If in the end, God chooses that it is her time to go home, it is with hope that I look to the Church Triumphant.  That she will go to the place where there is no more suffering.  There is only perfect love.  It is in joy that I walk knowing that there is a place of perfect love.  It is in joy that I go forward to spread the love here wherever I go.

I’m not sure if by now you realize how music often touched my soul.  I leave you with a song that made me feel comforted; You make me brave by Bethel Music and Amanda Cook.

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The Purgatory verse

Posted on October 11, 2015 by veilofveronica

fire-heart

“Now someone approached him and said, “Teacher, what good must I do to gain eternal life?”He answered him, “Why do you ask me about the good? There is only One who is good.*  If you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments.”He asked him, “Which ones?” And Jesus replied, “ ‘You shall not kill; you shall not commit adultery; you shall not steal; you shall not bear false witness;honor your father and your mother’; and ‘you shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” The young man said to him, “All of these I have observed. What do I still lack?”Jesus said to him, “If you wish to be perfect,* go, sell what you have and give to [the] poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”When the young man heard this statement, he went away sad, for he had many possessions.Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Amen, I say to you, it will be hard for one who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 19:16-23

The above verse is from Matthew.  I always refer to it as the purgatory verse.  I have always thought, what if the rich young man had not persisted?  What if he had not said, “what do I still lack?”  He would have walked away from Jesus thinking, I am doing right.  But he did persist.  “What do I still lack?”  Jesus told him, “If you wish to be perfect,  go, sell what you have and give to [the] poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.  When the young man heard this statement, he went away sad, for he had many possessions.

If you wish to be perfect….

What does that mean?  The man was on a righteous path.  But Jesus pressed him when he asked.  “If you wish to be perfect…”  Most of us don’t even aspire to this.  What does it mean?

It means being detached from this world.  Desiring only God.  It is the complete straight way to heaven.  Heaven is perfect.  Nothing imperfect can be there.  He will purify us before we can be fully in his presence.  He will purify us of our attachments.  Purify, that’s what purgatory means.  What are you attached to?

I went camping this weekend.  I am attached to much.   I don’t know if I could live primitively.  I could if the only thing I was attached to was God.  All these things, they are fleeting and passing away.  Let them go.  Be attached only to God.  Be perfect.  Perfection consists in trusting God alone and letting go of the things of this world.

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Look with eyes of Faith

Posted on October 5, 2015 by veilofveronica

nine ways

Depiction of St. Dominic and one of his 9 ways of Praying.

Although you have not seen him you love him; even though you do not see him now yet believe in him, you rejoice with an indescribable and glorious joy, as you attain the goal of [your] faith, the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1:8-9

Ever since my period of dryness, I have felt called to penance for others.  When I saw Lough Derg in the Catholicism video by Fr. Barron, I felt inexplicably drawn to this Purgatory Island.  There was a time when I would have thought something like this was crazy, but now I feel called.  Called to offer penance for others.  But catching a plane to Ireland is not something realistic at this time in my life.

So I went to talk to my Spiritual Director.  He suggested praying the Rosary with my arms outstretched.  I thought this an impossible task.  I am out of shape.  But I went to adoration after I spoke with him, my heart felt the Lord say, “Look with eyes of faith and see beyond the veil.”

I wasn’t sure what to make of this.  When I left I cried at the thought of a Rosary with my arms outstretched.  I want to pray for others, but I am weak.  The Lord showed me a picture in my head, a picture of angels holding up my arms.  This happened on the Feast of the Guardian Angels.

I have yet to do this.  Pray for me, that it will be as I saw.  That the Angels will hold my arms.  That Penance for others unites us with Christ.  That more souls will make it to heaven.

 

*Update – I was able to do this, thanks be to God and His holy Angels.

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I saw Christ today

Posted on September 24, 2015 by veilofveronica

eva

“Love is also the fullest source of the answer to the question of the meaning of suffering. This answer has been given by God to man in the cross of Jesus Christ.”

( Saint John Paul the Great – Salvifici Doloris  13)

Whenever I look at Christ on the Cross I see His love for us;  Love in action, suffering up there for us.   However, when I look around today, I do not see love like that everywhere.  I see a lot of selfishness and pride. But just when my hope in mankind seems damaged, God shows me, there is always hope.

I went to visit my friend, Eva today.  Eva has pancreatic cancer.  Eva is in pain.  She vomits most days a lot.  She weighs about 90 lbs.  Eva is suffering more physically than a lot of us know.  And because of Eva, today I saw Christ in action.

When I arrived Eva was vomiting.  But she had dressed herself up and she was determined to make the best of her day.  Not once did she complain.  She in fact, apologized to me for vomiting.  Two other friends came by, and we sat together in the sunshine.  10 minutes a day, that’s what the Doctor said Eva needed.  She was worried about us.  Were we too hot? Did we need water?

She spoke of her son and how bad she felt for him because he had to make his own food. She never scolded him if he made a mess making his food, because she said, she should be making it for him, but sometimes there’s too much fatigue.  She took him to a rock climbing place and paid for him and for herself to go in, even though she couldn’t climb, just so she could stand at the bottom and watch him go up.  She wanted him to be happy and have fun.

She said she was honest with him about her cancer.  She didn’t want to lie to him.  He needs to be able to trust her.  She spoke of how she could buy a car (she doesn’t have one), but didn’t because her husband and child might need the money.  She wants to live.  She doesn’t want her son to be without a mother or her husband to be without his wife.

She said life had a new perspective;  that when your sick, things that used to matter didn’t matter that much and the things that do matter, well they come into perspective.

To put it mildly, here is a women, in the midst of a horrible suffering, who is thinking about everyone else but herself.  She has a grateful attitude.   That my friends is true love. That is Christ on the Cross.  She has picked up her cross and she is carrying it better than most healthy people I know (myself included).  She carries her cross with a grateful heart and a heart filled with love for others, sacrificing where she can to make sure they are happy in the midst of her suffering.  Eva is teaching me.  She is teaching me that suffering has a meaning when it is done with love.  She is teaching me about Christ.

Please pray for Eva.  And for her family.  She is a beautiful soul.  May God heal her.  And please make a donation to help find a cure for this horrible cancer.

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Prayer request on the Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows

Posted on September 16, 2015 by veilofveronica

our lady of sorrows

painting by Kathleen Carr

“At the cross her station keeping,
Stood the mournful mother weeping,
Close to Jesus to the last.
Through her heart, his sorrow sharing,
All his bitter anguish bearing,
Now at length the sword has passed.”
(Stabat Mater)

My cousin Kathleen Carr, is almost finished with her Our Lady of Sorrows painting above. It is fitting.  I have much to pray for, as I am sure all of you do too.  Thank goodness that Jesus conquered death so that even in earthly death we know there can be life everlasting in heaven.

On Wednesday, I found out my friend, Deloras, has a returning breast cancer that has metastisized.  My other friend, Eva, has pancreatic cancer.  Both women need to be lifted in prayer.

Eva adopted an older son last year.  He finally has a mom.  Would you please pray for both these woman to be healed.  But above all pray that God’s will be done.

If any of you have a prayer request please put it in the comments and I will write it in my book and make sure to lift them all up in prayer.  Thank you.

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Cross or Burden

Posted on September 14, 2015 by veilofveronica

jesus-on-cross1

The cross is the school of love.  – St. Maximilian Kolbe

Today is the Feast of the Exaltation of the Cross.  Our Pastor spoke today of the difference between a Cross and a Burden.

He told the story of a young girl who carried her brother who had no legs on her back. Another person asked her how she could carry that burden.  She answered, “he is not a burden, he is my brother.”

The Cross is not a burden because the cross is borne of love.  The cross is hope.  We all have a choice.  Do you look at things as a burden, or a Cross?

Today on the Feast of the Exaltation of the Cross, heed the words of Jesus;

“Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.” Matthew 16:24

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Into the Desert

Posted on September 13, 2015 by veilofveronica

purgatory island   

Lough Derg, the sacred Sanctuary of St Patrick also known as Purgatory Island

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. Matthew 4:1

After what has happened to me I know the Lord is leading me.  But I have to be honest here, this week was extremely hard for various reasons.  I found it hard to pray.  I was even plagued with doubt.  I had physical ailments that manifested.  There was fighting in my family.  How could this be?  Lord, I am certain you are leading me.  It was with discipline that I was able to keep up prayer.  I am making a consecration to Mary.  Why are these things happening?  I sat in the chapel and poured my heart out.  Remove me from this desert Lord, I feel so dry.  Here is what He said;

Beloved,

LET GO.  You cling to too much control instead of clinging to Me.  In this things seem hard.  These things you experience, they all pass through My Hands first.  Don’t you see yet?  I am stripping you in order to build you up.  LET GO.  Trust me.  Penance, penance, penance, this is part of your purifiation.  Do what I ask, let go of the rest.

Your Abba.

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