Moses and Aaron were among his priests, Samuel also was among those who called upon his name. They called to the Lord, and he answered them. In the pillar of the cloud he spoke to them; they kept his testimonies and the statute that he gave them. O Lord our God, you answered them; you were a forgiving God to them, but an avenger of their wrongdoings, Exalt the Lord our God, and worship at his holy mountain; for the Lord our God is holy! Psalm 99:6-9
My spiritual director asked me to keep a journal. I told you about it in my previous post. My journal contains my letters to God. My director gave me an outline of how to do it. First, I must pick who I am addressing, Father, Son, or Holy Spirit, and call Him by name. I address Abba, daddy, the Father who always answers, because I am held in the palm of His hand. My director said to address myself how I would see God addressing me. I am beloved.
I write my worries, prayers and thoughts to Him. Then in the stillness I sit. The random thoughts that enter my head I record. This is not automatic writing. It is a compilation of the thoughts that pop in my head when I speak to Him. I know many of the random thoughts have come from things I have read, like Saints writings and the bible, as this is what seems to pop in my head in the stillness. I have to verify that things don’t contradict Doctrine, or the Bible, if they do they are wrong. I thought I would share with you one sampling;
July 14, 2015
My heart hurts so deeply. Sin is everywhere. Even in me as I try to purge it. There it rests, pride, selfishness, sloth, envy, gluttony. I confess them. I feel new. But temptation creeps back. If I am so lowly and you call one as lowly as me to draw people to you, I fear greatly for the world. There is so much wickedness. The wicked wicked sin. Today a video was released showing the sale of aborted baby parts. Oh the evil. It makes me weep for the world. When will we be purged of this wickedness? I long for a time when there is no evil. I know I must first purge what is in me. Humble me and make my heart one with Jesus.
As you sit in this church with me there is a storm raging outside. I don’t give the peace that this world gives. My peace comes in the midst of the storm. The worldly choose the wicked and in time the hand of justice will come. My hand. My justice. But before my hand falls, my ocean of mercy must be poured out. I have been chasing every soul longing for my children to come back. My mercy is there for the taking. My servant, your Blessed Mother has extended her mantle and the time of mercy is now. My son took on all this wickedness. He is the way. He can make all things new. Do not fret. Receive my mercy and know my love.