Strange Dream, Strange Day, and the Illumination of Conscience

Russian Orthodox Priest1


With one heart all these joined constantly in prayer, together with some women, including Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brothers. Acts 1:14

Perhaps it’s because it was the darkest day of the year, or because of the full moon, but I had a very weird dream last night that I am still trying to unpack because it seemed so very real.  Then at Mass this morning I had a moment with God.  I will try to explain all of it here.

First my dream;

In the dream my neighbors,  who had moved away, came back for a visit.  And the family who bought their house left to let them stay for awhile.  When I went into the house to say hello it was different, bigger on the inside… Almost like the interior courtyard of a Castle, with outdoor space in the center and a stage.  They told me they were getting ready for our Bishop to come over to the Castle to say Mass because he was going to confirm their son, and they were good friends with the Bishop.  I tried to call my family but I had one of those old flip phones and I couldn’t get it to work right, when I finally got through it was my brother who I ended up talking to.  He said he already went to Mass but he sent my daughter over.

I sit down waiting for Mass to begin and there’s like 10,000 people that show up and fill up the courtyard.  There appears to be stadium seating, and the people coming in are more like the dregs of humanity.  My daughter ends up behind me, and I end up in between these two men who I think are scammers.  They are both tattoed all over.  They actually pull out and start doing drugs next to me.  Cocaine.

I don’t get scared I get MAD.

I ask them “don’t you believe in Jesus?”  A few gather around me in a circle and laugh.  It’s very intimidating, but I am angry.

One of them says he does believe.  But he is high as a kite, eyes glazed over, total tatoos, like arm sleeve of tatoos and an injured arm.

I look at him super intently and I say, “Do you believe in Jesus?”  He says, “yes.”  The other men laugh.  I say louder “DO YOU BELIEVE IN JESUS?”  He says, “yes.”  I say, “Do you want to be healed of this addiction? “ He cries, and says it can’t happen.  I say, “DO YOU WANT TO BE HEALED OF THIS ADDICTION?”  He says very weakly, “yes.”

I realize at this point that I am actually surrounded by demons.

I close my eyes and I call out “Lord Jesus, I ask you to send angels in sufficient, rank, number, power and authority to surround me, this place, and this gentleman here, so they can fight the demons off and away from us.”

I place my hand on his chest.   I am not nervous AT ALL, and the words are fed to me from heaven.  I can actually feel them physically pour over me.  I say, “Lord Jesus, all the angels and saints who I ask for intercession, I ask that the Holy Spirit be poured out upon this man so he can be made whole.  I command, Jesus in your name, that the spirit of addiction leave this man now.  I ask for total healing and health for him.  He is your child and you love him. In your name I pray this, Amen.”

I open my eyes, all the other men that had been there have walked away.  It is just me, my daughter and this guy.

He is crying.  All of his tatoos are gone.  His skin is smooth.  His eyes are clear.  His arm has experienced healing.  He is just thanking me.  I tell him it wasn’t me and I turn to see if the Mass has begun and where we are in the Mass.  I try texting some friends to tell them what happened but the phone is all shot to hell.

I grab my daughter and go up to the front and people are lined up… but it’s not for communion.  It’s like they replaced communion with something else and they’re trying to get people to sniff this incense.  It is a pipe looking thing that has smoke coming out of it and smells like incense.  A woman stands next to me and wants to receive communion, but tells me she isn’t Catholic.  I look at her and tell her she can’t receive but also that this isn’t communion and I don’t know what they’re doing.  The Priests look like they’re from a different Rite because of how they’re dressed.  Upon looking it up it the morning I recognize it as Russian Orthodox.  Children are in the center of the field putting what looks like matza wafers on a tray.  I wonder if it’s those that will be used for communion after the sniffing of incense is over.

I can’t figure out what’s happening or going on.  It’s all very confused, and I don’t want to sniff the incense.  I get a bad feeling.

One of the Priests puts his hand on the non-Catholic lady’s head and blesses her, but I can’t understand the blessing, she starts to cry.

Suddenly my husband appears in a car and says we have to get out of there.  I can’t find my daughter though.  I get in the car and we proceed to look for her.  I feel certain she is with the other children putting the matza on a tray.   I wake up before I find her….

After I woke up I pondered this for awhile.  There were so many things going on.  So many things that stood out.  The main thing to me though was that it was the children who seemed to be preparing for communion.

Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven.  Matthew 18:3

I didn’t have a lot of time to think over the dream because we had to get ready for Mass.  The Mass was beautiful.  The Priest talked about the first time he personally encountered Christ and how it changed his life forever.  He reminded us to help bring that encounter to those who will come on Christmas.  If we can help them encounter Christ, perhaps they will come more than twice a year.  He was so passionate about his encounter with Christ, you just KNEW it happened.

After communion I came back to my pew and knelt down to pray.  The Lord just started pouring over me.  As you already know, I try my best to interpret what is being said to me, and I write it in the form of a letter from God to me.  I wrote it down as soon as I got home because it was words and a vision in my head God gave me while I was in prayer.  This is what I recorded;



The illumination of conscience, the warning, a rescue for many, will happen when the faithful collectively ask for it.  Understand you are one body.  Like when a sickness or a cancer attacks a body, the rest of the body must respond trying to repair.  The white blood cells attack the sickness,  changes appear in the body, and thousands of reactions take place to begin to heal the sickness and not let it take over.  If the body does not work properly the sickness can bring death.  The body of Christ must also react properly to help save one another from death.  The spirit resides in each one of you and with one heart the faithful constantly joined in prayer can, through my power, heal the whole body.  Call upon the spirit to convict the hearts of your fellow man and I will send down the spirit like a violent wind with tongues of fire from the sky.  I will show all of you who you are.  I will show all of you how you are loved and how you have rejected my love.  It is my hour of mercy before the day of justice.  We are one body.  Operate that way. 

Be fearless and speak out. 

– Abba

He showed me the Apostles and Mary praying in the upper room before Pentecost.

We all tend to be angry at our fellow man.  It is like being angry at your leg if it is not working properly.  We may actually do that, get angry at our leg.  But what we wouldn’t want is to cut it off.  We would do everything in our power to help our leg work properly.  It is the same with our fellow man, and fervent prayer, asking God for conviction of heart for all of us, this will help to heal our Mystical Body.

In my prayer, I physically saw a sick body, but it lit up when collective prayer was prayed… You could see the light killing the dark sickness, the way electricity or lightening lights up the sky at night when it’s dark.  It eradicated the darkness and brought light to the body.

He impressed upon me that we all need to be shown who we are, and that all of us will be humbled.  ALL OF US.  He is making us holy. We need to ask the Lord to convict us and others. Conviction shows us we are totally loved and it compels is to change our sinful ways.

On this, the eve of Christmas eve, I don’t really know what to make of everything.  I think God wants to send His mercy, His healing power upon us.  What He most wants is for us to walk in His will.  There are five things that bring us the Kingdom of heaven.  These are actually things we can embrace and do here and now;

  1. Be baptized by water and the Spirit.  John 3:5 (Baptism, Confirmation)
  2. Eat of His flesh and Drink of His Blood.  John 6:53 (Eucharist)
  3. Confess with your mouth and believe in your heart. Romans 10:9 (Faith)
  4. Turn from your sins and be like children. Matthew 18:3 (Repent, Confession)
  5. Do the will of the Father in Heaven. Matthew 7:21 (Do God’s will)

Embrace your Baptism and Baptismal promises.  Embrace your Confirmation that brings the gifts of the Spirit. Repent of your sins by going to Confession.  Receive the Eucharist with a humble and contrite heart, one filled with faith and belief.  Ask for your will to be one with the Father.  And pray for your fellow man.

Have a Blessed Christmas.  May we all become like little children as the Christ child comes into our homes.

About veilofveronica

I am a mother and wife as well as an RCIA and Adult Faith Formation catechist at a parish in the south. I have 3 children and a great husband.
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12 Responses to Strange Dream, Strange Day, and the Illumination of Conscience

  1. Anne says:

    Unity…is what struck me.Now also divided.with unity in prayer we willsee miracles…like in Acts of Apostles!thank you for sharing.Blessed Christmas to you and yours.

  2. Beckita says:

    SO beautiful, Susan. Thanks for your faithfulness. May you and your family have a beautiful Christmas!

  3. James Ignatius McAuley says:

    Dreams have strange elements, Sue. For example, we use the kadulo, which is like a Roman rite censer, but with bells on the chains. There is no pipe thingy, or matzo like bread in the Byzantine rite. The antidoren is our blessed leavened (prosphora) bread. Cut up pieces are blessed and then put out after communion to be eaten by the laity.

    Being baptized in the spirit (John 3:5) is also understood as confirmation/chrismation. Never forget that is the necessary as it gives you the fullness of the lay priesthood in Christ.

    Anyway, merry Christmas!

  4. Anne says:

    Thank you for this article. It is so timely for me. I have wondered on and off about the illumination of conscience thinking how it would help my husband (and now, me also).

    My husband’s faith is very weak to begin with. While my spiritual life has grown and blossomed, his is practically non-existent. He has fallen into a depression about his job where he is unhappy, our financial situation (in which I have pointed out several times how God has constantly provided for us), but he doesn’t see it. Our marriage is suffering but we also both don’t want a broken home and for our 2 boys to suffer. Heartfelt communication is difficult; we are both unhappy but I don’t want to give up.
    I am praying for the intercession of our Lady and of St Joseph, including St Monica and St Pio. I just started fasting every friday; try to pray the rosary daily and have abstained from other things as well. I firmly believe that when my husband has a conversion, he will be a changed man – he will be a devout Catholic and a devoted husband and father. I have asked God to replace his heart of stone with a heart of flesh. And I have aslo asked Him to grant my husband a ” Damascus moment”. I don’t know what else to do. Could you please include us in your prayers? I would like for our boys to see their father have a strong faith in God. Starting today, I will also be praying for the illumination of our consciences.
    Thank you so much for sharing your gift to the world. Your writings are heartening and enlighten a troubled soul such as mine. God bless you always!

  5. I will show all of you who you are.
    I’ve always been afraid of the Illumination of Conscience precisely because of that – seeing myself as God sees me.
    I will show all of you how you are loved and how you have rejected my love. It is my hour of mercy before the day of justice.
    I never saw the Illumination in that light, Susan. Suddenly, I think I’m brave enough to pray for it.

  6. Cork85 says:

    Hi Susan, your dream was very interesting . It sounds very like me. My arm is injured in a way, I also have a sleeve of tattoos and I’m caught up in addiction. I wish to be set free from all forms of addiction.

    • Cork85 says:

      Like the person in the dream I believe in Jesus but don’t know if I can be liberated from alcoholism and addiction.

      • Cork85 with God all things are possible. If you are seeing a Doctor or Counselor for help you should keep doing that. From a Spiritual Perspective ask God to reveal to you the root cause of your addiction. Typically there is some hurt or unforgiveness there. If you can get to that root cause and forgive that hurt as an act of your will, totally and completely, as Matthew 18 tells us to do, you can, by the authority Jesus gave you tell the spirit of addiction to leave, but only after you have forgiven, otherwise they come back. Forgiveness is the key. When we do deliverance we start by forgiving dad and his ancestors, mom and her ancestors, forgiveness of self, forgiveness of soul ties (sexual sin), trauma that was caused to you, and any occult involvement. You forgive, and renounce the demons to shut the door. Ask God to reveal to you the root cause of your addiction. Forgive. Renounce. Also you may want to check out Cenacalo. They have a very high success rate in helping people overcome addiction.
        God Bless you, I will pray for you.

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