Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:4-9
Last night before I went to bed, I examined my conscience, the Holy Spirit showed me all the ways I am attached to the world, all the pride I still have, how my own ego is still central to so much of what I do. It’s humiliating to see how far I have to go. But as I have said before, humiliation is good for you. There is no way I can save myself. I have to trust God. I resign myself to knowing that sanctifying grace can purge me. I have said before, I find myself saddened at the knowledge of how good God is, and how far away we all are from Him. Many of us know nothing of His goodness, I am just grateful I have seen even the smallest glimmer of it.
So I prayed a prayer before going to sleep. I prayed, “Lord, I am attached to many things, I desire for my will to be one with your will. I desire to be purified. I desire that the world be purified, though this seems impossible. But I know Lord, nothing is impossible for you. Amen.”
Then I went to sleep and I had a dream.
In the dream the sky was blood red.
I was looking down like a birds eye view from the sky. I saw destruction, fire, and death. There was massive suffering down below and darkness that wasn’t just physical but palpable. It was immense suffering and seemed unbearable to watch.
Then I heard a voice from the sky, it said,
“this is what it takes to become unattached.”
No sooner did I hear this than the sky opened up. It was bright blue with cotton candy clouds and I cannot describe properly the feeling except to say it was total peace and total joy. I physically felt from within my soul, a letting go. All of the death, darkness and destruction faded away and I surrendered all I had left.
Then I heard the voice say, “this is where I am taking you.”
And I just knew that God’s plan was good. So good, y’all, we have no idea.
I woke up with joy and peace in my soul. I got up and went to Mass and learned that the Pope has further suppressed Old Rite Sacraments. I remembered the words of a friend who used to say, “these things must come”. And I had no anxiety. The charge leveled against the Old Rite is that it’s “divisive”.
The Old Rite Liturgy and Sacraments are not divisive, they are tradition. People are divisive when they listen to the wrong Kingdom. Sure there are judgmental people but the Liturgy isn’t the reason for that. Hard hearts are. And forced unity isn’t going to fix that. Because it’s not the kind of unity that God brings, for God does not coerce people into loving Him. Pride is the stamp of our time. It’s in the hierarchy, it’s in the church, it’s in our very own hearts. The smoke of Satan. In an effort to stop judgmentalness, judgement of man has been proclaimed to fix it. We know where this ends up, at the cross.
God does not need the Liturgy because He is perfect. He needs nothing. The Liturgy is for us, but not “about” us (in the egotistical sense). It’s about unity with God. When we worship God out of the love of our hearts that’s when true unity can be sacramentally poured upon us. It’s no wonder God seems to allow the removal of it. Whether from pandemic or suppression it’s our own hardened hearts that speak judgement over one another- and from the top down. The sacraments themselves are being given only to those who are deemed “healthy” or non-divisive in the eyes of man. Things will get worse before they get better.
But they will get better.
We should not fear. Instead we should pray. Pray for the Pope, the Bishop’s, the Priests, the flock, the church, and for yourself. Pray that you will stand at the Cross during the Passion of the Church. The joy and the peace to come are beyond your understanding.
Cling to what is good and true and right. And look up to heaven with a grateful heart even if the world is crumbling around you. Eucharist means thanksgiving and it’s meant to take residence up in your heart.
The church will be birthed anew. A purified bride. A bride with the incarnation dwelling within.