Roch Castle Haverfordwest, Wales – Ruins to Restoration
The final battle between the Lord and the kingdom of Satan will be about Marriage and the Family…Don’t be afraid, because whoever works for the sanctity of Marriage and the Family will always be fought against and opposed in every way, because this is the decisive issue… Nevertheless, Our Lady has already crushed his head. – Sister Lucia of Fatima to Cardinal Caffara
A few years ago- prior to COVID, as things in my life were piling up, I was driving a little frantically to an appointment when I got a very clear image in my head of a goat-headed demon. He stared at me and had breath coming from his nostrils and large horns on his head. He just said to me, “I will wear you out.”
I know enough to know that demons are liars. We are not to engage in conversation with them and I also know they do not have the final word. I knew exactly who this demon was and I claimed the name of Jesus Christ and His precious blood and I shoved aside that encounter.
I was reminded of this encounter this year though because, well, I was worn out. If you have followed my blog at all, you know there has been extreme suffering. I know you out there have experienced it too. I felt slammed from all sides and at times barely holding on. I turned to God about this encounter. I was completely honest with how I felt and I just said, “Lord, I am worn out. I think this demon was telling the truth, why would you let this be?” And I very clearly heard the Lord answer. He said, “I do not get worn out.”
I knew in that moment the depths of surrender God was calling me to. I have often been, still, relying on myself and on our human ways, in an era when God calls us to radical trust in him and his ways. It’s actually a deep surrender he calls all of us to. I just told the Lord that I accept what has come my way, with love, and I will do my best to love in the middle of it. His words left me encouraged, that in the middle of my exhaustion, I had a place to lean my head. He hasn’t removed my humanity and elevated me to angelic nature, he has let me enter deeply into my humanity and made more of who I am meant to be by letting me experience these crosses. I don’t know if I realized this is the spiritual path when I set out on it. I don’t know if I knew what was to come, if I would have agreed to it. I am glad I didn’t know. He is teaching me that I do not actually have to do it all, I don’t have to know it all, I don’t even have to worry about the future. God is with me in the now, in full power, in the middle of my weakness. This weakness, is humbling. I can see now how much pride I still have. There’s a saying that knowledge is power. I do believe we have that wrong. God is power. Knowledge belongs to Him. For us, Trust is power, God’s power.
It’s not as though I believe we should give up the fight within our worldly structures, but I do believe within this fight, it is the discouragement we should give up. That demon, all those years ago, was trying to make me look at his ugly face. Jesus Christ calls me to look on His face, and it’s broken ugliness that is beautiful, the face of the one who got worn out on the cross for us, so we can learn to rely on Him.
God is bigger than that demon. God is glory.
I know many people have worried about a nuclear holocaust. I have news for you, we are already in one. It is the holocaust of the nuclear family. For years our country murdered children in the womb, and is still doing so in some places. We have embraced contraception. Yesterday we codified “respect for marriage”, that actually makes a mockery of it. We confuse our children and sexualize everything. Many of us have broken families, God can redeem all of it, we don’t have to make this brokeness our pride and joy. We should make God’s healing our priority so we can have real joy.
How can we get out of this mess?
God has a plan.
Have you all noticed that God has been making you wait for many things? We try to keep going, but we manage to be like hamsters on a wheel getting no where. What is God trying to tell us? Maybe you are supposed to be waiting, exactly where you are; loving God and loving others right now, even if nothing else gets “done”.
Yesterday I read an excellent piece by Daniel O’Connor. In it he quoted Jesus to Louisa Piccarreta;
“My daughter, I feel like giving to the creature the necessary Strength or, rather, an Overabundant Strength, only in the moment when she sets herself to do what I want-not before. Otherwise she would feel the Strength but still not do what I want, and I do not know how to give useless things. How many, before doing an action, feel so helpless; but then as soon as they put themselves to work they feel Invested by a New Strength, a New Light. I am the one who charged them, since I never lack the necessary Strength to do Good. Rather, this need ties Me and forces Me, if necessary, to act together with them.” May 15, 1938
Do you see what that says? God is waiting until we can be aligned with His Will.
Let him purify you, however best He sees fit. He knows where you have pride and where you are being blocked from alignment with His Will. Stop fighting him and start loving Him no matter what is thrown your way.
I do believe in the past we had more protection from Satan. There certainly is safety in protection. But in our arrogance, we let down the barriers of protection. God allowed it to happen and I had words with Him about it. What I felt Him say simply was, “your protection is not the same as My purification.”
I knew that in my desire for protection, that perhaps I was desiring to protect my own comfort rather than allow my heart to be totally purified. I knew then that His purification would actually bring perfect protection. I see this in Our Lady. He protects her perfectly, she is perfectly purified. And I got an image in my head of a castle with walls that get penetrated by the enemy. When the enemy overruns the castle, you will soon find out how strong your foundation is. If what you are standing in is rock, than the castle can be rebuilt. But if what we are protecting is a facade that is other than what God had in mind, then the enemy will tear it down. Pray that you’re foundation isn’t sand, because then you crumble. A rock foundation allows God to rebuild what is good while getting rid of all that hinders you. God alone is good and we lose sight of that all the time. We put our trust in so many things other than God. When the human institutions erode trust, if you don’t have God, you’re left with a chasm of emptiness. His church is the rock, He is the cornerstone.
We can all see the trajectory of the world, and I am certain, that God will intervene. I believe he will blow over some of our structures and illuminate our consciences, if he hasn’t done it individually to you already. I do also believe that whatever we have in our head as the “illumination” will look different than we picture, because God never acts the way we expect. If He did, it wouldn’t seem so hard to trust. This illumination will be and is always, humbling, just ask Saint Paul. Those of us who think we are ready, are not, but here again, the best readiness is a resolve to totally rely on God. Trust.
This breach of trust happened in the garden of Eden. We broke it. We must leap in faith to radical trust again. God wants for the good of every soul, especially yours. No matter what has come your way, no matter how exhausted you are, no matter how long you have to wait, God does actually know what is best for you. Trust.
Psalm 46 – God’s defense of his People
1 God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change,
though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble with its tumult. Selah
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High.
5 God is in the midst of the city; it shall not be moved;
God will help it when the morning dawns.
6 The nations are in an uproar; the kingdoms totter;
he utters his voice; the earth melts.
7 The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our refuge.Selah
8 Come, behold the works of the Lord;
see what desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields with fire.
10 “Be still, and know that I am God!
I am exalted among the nations;
I am exalted in the earth.”
11 The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah
I feel your “worn outness”, Susan. Thank you for these uplifting words and onward and upward we go. It’s been relatively easy for me to say for the past few years “Trust God, He has a plan!”. But really trusting 100% is another matter. Daniel’s contemplation also dovetails nicely with what you were led to write.
Time to turn it over completely, and these words help me greatly in that. God bless you for listening and sharing these truths.
God Bless you Tom.
Thank you Susan! This is a much needed “witness” and testimony to the “workings” of the Holy Spirit in our individual lives right now. Yes, at times it feels like I cannot go on. It is all so overwhelming! The “only” solace is spending time in adoration. Even then the “fearful thoughts” come at me with the memory that the churches were closed during the pandemic, leaving me with no solace. The enemy seems to be more fierce than ever before but not so. He was always as fierce but I was simply not in the battle as I am today. I was in my comfort zone, sad to say. I am so grateful to have been “graced” to embrace the battle to the point of total exhaustion as you so aptly describe. It is at that point when I too encounter Jesus like never before, just as you outlined!
You pointed out comfort. God has so much more in store for us than simply comfort. We’re all being stretched!
God Bless you!
Thank you so much! This is a perfect companion read to Daniel O’Connor’s blog yesterday! I so need to hear this and be reminded of it daily! Forsaking All In Trusting Him! 😉
Thank you for this encouragement; I’m sure we all need it! It’s amazing that you included that quote from Daniel’s post. I just sent him a message of how those words were made real in my life, the morning before I read his post. The Lord gave me something crucial to do, and as I did it, I felt that strength that comes only from Him. Then when I read Daniel’s post and that quote, I felt tears of confirmation.
God bless you!
God Bless you!
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This was perfect Susan- thank you.
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