Almighty ever living God, who in the abundance of your kindness surpass the merits and the desires of those who entreat you, pour out your mercy upon us to pardon what conscience dreds and to give what prayer does not dare to ask. Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God forever and ever. Amen.

Collect of the Mass Thursday, October 10, 2024

I want to relay to you my prayer for the past few days. On Monday, October 7, 2024, which also happened to be my 24th wedding anniversary, I went to Mass like I usually try to do daily. During the Eucharistic prayers as I closed my eyes to pray and the Lord led me to envision Pentecost. I could see the Apostles, the women, and Mary in the Upper Room. Mary is rapt in light. This is the exact same way I pictured her at the Nativity of Our Lord. She is again about to give birth, but this time, as a mediatrix of all graces, to a Mystical Union. Filled with total grace without hinderance, having stood at the cross, and witnessed the Resurrection, she is elevated in perfect union with the Holy Spirit, her spouse, so the grace can flow through her to be born fully in the Apostles and women in the room. I saw waves of light from Mary, and there was the driving wind. Tongues as of fire come down as if to speak of the full FIAT of all present in the room. The FIAT that while once spoken in spiritual youth that says yes in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, to love and cherish in long life or short, in success or failure, crucifixion or resurrection, is brought to the fruition of a mature and unbreakable love. It truly is a movement from the wedding feast to the first born Mystical Incarnation which carries on the love of the actual Incarnation. And God’s Will is done on earth through these first Apostles of the Church. It was stunningly beautiful to see and as often happens to me in Mass, tears rolled down my face.

I know with a deep knowing that God wants this for all of us. But the Spiritual journey is just that, a journey, and so God is patient with us as we mature. Too often, we don’t mature, and the world spins out of control, so for those of us with eyes to see and ears to hear, I want to speak in a moment of what today’s Collect said we dare not ask.

On October 8, I was praying with Mark 10:46-52. It is the story of Bartimaeus the blind man. Jesus asks him a question;

“What do you want me to do for you?”

I stopped at this question because recently in my prayer I have felt God tell me that I expect too much of people and not enough of Him and I needed to reset my expectations and ask big of him. It was then that another prayer I pray almost daily for reparation came into my mind;

In union with the whole church, by the hearts of Mary and of Joseph all burning with love, and in the name of all men, I salute Thee, I adore Thee, and I love Thee, O Jesus of Nazareth! King of the Jews, full of meekness and humility, of grace and of truth. Mercy and Justice are with Thee; love is thy substance; Thou are the Christ, the only Son of the living God, and the blessed fruit of the womb of the glorious Virgin Mary.

O Jesus! Good Shepherd, who has given Thy life for Thy sheep, by all Thy sacred wounds, Thy precious blood, Thy divine tears and beloved sweat, by all the sighs, the groans, the sorrows, the love, the merit of the 33 years of Thy holy life, enclosed in the ineffable sanctuary of Thy most loving Heart, have pity on us poor and miserable sinners; convert all the blasphemers and profaners of the holy day of Sunday, and give us a share in Thy Divine merits, now and at the hour of our death. Amen. (by Venerable Leon Papin Dupont, the Holy Man of Tours – Pray 3 times to honor His Divine Life, His Glorious Life, and His Mortal Life.)

So while I was pondering the question of what I wanted Christ to do for me, I remembered the line from this prayer – love is Thy substance. And I said, “Lord, I want you to make love my substance, transubstantiate me.”

As the words came out of my mouth, I almost gasped. This is something I dare not ask. I was asking to have what happens on the altar at Mass to happen to me (albeit in a different way). I was asking to make my will the same as the Will of the Father and to transubstantiate me, that is to say, change my substance to love. I paused and I told the Lord, I meant it. I wondered if this was okay to do. I know that I will actually become more of who I am supposed to be if this were to happen and I operated in the Will of God always – it would be a huge outpouring.

Fast forward to today and I was in adoration reading, An Introduction to Living in the Divine Will by Daniel O’Connor, and imagine my surprise when I came across this quote from Saint Faustina;

I said, “Do with me as you please. I subject myself to Your will. As of today your holy will shall be my nourishment”… I was then extraordinarily fused with God…. A great mystery took place during that adoration, a mystery between the Lord and myself… At that moment I felt transconsecrated. My earthly body was the same, but my soul was different; God was now living in it with the totality of His delight. This is not a feeling, but a conscious reality that nothing can obscure (136-137) {O’Connor page 26}

I actually sat there stunned. Though the word she used, transconsecrate, was not exactly the same as mine, transubstantiate, they essentially mean the same thing. We want love to be our substance.

I actually didn’t want to write this post, but I am telling you this because perhaps we should dare to pray for big things. I think we don’t dare because we know we don’t deserve it. We know we don’t deserve to be restored with all the sin we have committed, but God wills our restoration. Jesus said we would do greater things than even Him (John 14:12). I do believe that God wants the fulfillment of the prayer Jesus taught us. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. God gives generously but we should know this happens in His time not ours.

We live in a world where there is an abject lack of Spiritual maturity, but I believe God will illuminate us, and I pray for Him to do so. The Lord desires for us to live as they lived at Pentecost, without fear and with full love of God and neighbor, knowing always the goodness of God.

As we navigate the world of wars, hurricanes, lies and confusion, remember to always keep your eyes on Jesus, consecrate yourself to Mary through whom all graces flow, and ask big of God because He is bigger than you can fathom.

If you would like to purchase the Family Healing prayer book, The Queen’s Triumph, I co-authored with Ashley Blackburn, please click this link.