…before I come as a just Judge, I first open wide the door of My mercy. He who refuses to pass through the door of My mercy must pass through the door of My justice – Diary of Saint Faustina 1146

Before I begin what I want to write about today, I just want to say, pray for a peaceful transition in America. Pray for total conversion of all of our leaders. Pray that the prophecy of the Hermit of Loreto in the 1980’s is true.

Recently I joined a new ladies group to pray with. About two weeks ago the leader led us through a meditation where we were to picture sitting across from Jesus and letting Him love us as we spoke to Him.

When I closed my eyes, rather than seeing myself and Jesus in a picturesque meadow, I instead saw this;

And the Lord called me by a heavenly name and simply said, “Are you ready to enter the tomb?”

I did not know what He meant so I spent the next few days asking Him what He meant.

In addition to asking Him what He meant, I began the 24 hours of the Passion by Louisa Piccareta, a devotion I have prayed many times before, because the image I saw in prayer is the image on the front of the book. Over the course of the weeks, I began to be shown my motivations and reactions to people and events. I was slightly horrified. Though outwardly I don’t display a lot of what I desire, inwardly the Lord showed me these motivations, desires and reactions when I am in specific situations. And He asked me, “is your motivation love?“

I started to see my disordered desires in a much clearer light than I ever had before;

I desired to be seen.

I desired to be loved.

I desired to be consulted.

The list went on. You can basically go down the Litany of Humility and though I have prayed it 1000 times, when the Lord shows you the core of your soul and what is really going on, it stops you in your tracks and redirects you. I told the Lord I want my motivation, my desires, and my reactions, both interiorly and exteriorly, to come solely from the Love of God. I told Him this is my deepest desire.

“Are you ready to enter the tomb?”

It made more sense in light of what I had been shown. I must let these things die in me.

I wanted all my sin and imperfections to enter into that tomb so I can be transformed into love. I went to adoration and the Lord spoke to me. I will share here what I wrote in my journal. As always, if what I have written the church says is wrong, then the church is correct and I am wrong.

November 8, 2024

Beloved Lily of the Father (redacted),

I want to speak to you about detachment.  Have no investment in the things of this world even if they may seem spiritual.

I seek for you to walk in love, unoffended, confident in your own identity in ME. A temple of my glory.  It does not look the way the world looks. My house is in you.  Become a house of prayer, so fortified that all thieves are tossed out.  I love you, you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

Col. 2

– Your Divine Spouse

God wants me unoffended. Can you imagine what it would be like to live unoffended? Especially in today’s day and age? My desires, motivations and reactions, not just my outward ones, but my inward ones need to change. It is to the human mind, an irrational peace, a confident identity, and it surpasses understanding.

So, as I pondered all of this last night, I read the 7th hour of the Passion and I went to bed. And then, I had a dream.

In the dream I was in a church that had Christ the Pantocrator in it. I started out in Mass but I was kicked outside. I missed the readings. I was then ushered by someone around the side of the church and there was a line of people and a lay Eucharistic Minister who was holding the chalice of the Precious Blood. I was last in line, I went to receive and I heard a voice tell me to drink all of it. It was white wine that had be transubstantiated which I found strange. I know this can be used, but where I go to Mass it usually isn’t. I also don’t usually receive from the chalice because I don’t want to abuse Christ and I have seen it spilled so many times. So all of this was very unusual in the dream. But in the dream I drank all of the Precious Blood in the chalice. I then heard the word “Pantocrator” and I woke up and I woke up just knowing – this is all about the Illumination of Conscience and possibly the 3 days of darkness.

Because in the Roman Church Pantocrator is not something we speak about often, I had to look it up when I woke up. I found out that it is on the dome of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre where the tomb of Jesus is.

I also found out that the term is used 9 times in the book of Revelation and that it is translated as Almighty or All Powerful and is considered a representation of the Judge of Humanity. And it is here that I realized how hard an Illumination of Conscience would be and that I should write this to help prepare for it. When I saw all my disordered motivations, reactions and desires, I saw just how far away I was, and we all are, from the perfect charity God desires.

God desires love in everything, exteriorly and interiorly. I felt like when I went to Mass and heard today’s readings that God was confirming what I was being shown. I even noticed that my Magnificat daily readings booklet had the Pantocrator in the back of it.

Perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). When an illumination of Conscience happens, we will be shocked at how far away we are from God, but don’t hold on to that; Look up and be grateful and receive God’s mercy. God desires to give us unfathomable mercy. I know in the core of my soul that God desires to elevate us and fill us with Himself. We are to become mini-Christ’s. ICXC

May God Bless you all.