Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

I write in my journal as if the Lord is speaking to me. If what I have written is the church says is wrong, then the church is correct and I am wrong. For your discernment.

I wrote this while pondering all that is happening in the world and trying to decipher what is real and what is not. All the information can be overwhelming, anxiety inducing and distracting. When I find myself in this situation, I take all of it to the Lord. He tells me to strip everything down to how best to love in each situation. He tells me I don’t need to know everything. I need to know HIM.

January 6, 2024

Beloved Lily of the Father (redacted),

The state of loving and being loved – this is union.

Pray.

Immerse yourself in the Most Holy Trinity.

The Mystical Body of Christ resides there.

Hearts beating in unison with the Will of the Father.

Look at the Holy Face and know the grace in which you stand.

Let go of all fear and worry.

Be who I made you to be.

(redacted)

I will tell you what you need to know when you need to know it. Pay no attention to the distractions.

Keep your eyes on me. Help bring my people home to me, to the Father’s house.

I AM GLORY.

• The Most Holy Trinity

Whenever I get worried about being deceived or I get overwhelmed by all the prophets and all the theories out there, about what to prepare and how to prepare, the Lord shows me Elijah being fed by ravens.

You shall drink from the wadi, and I have commanded the ravens to feed you there.”  So he went and did according to the word of the Lord; he went and lived by the Wadi Cherith, which is east of the Jordan.  The ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning, and bread and meat in the evening; and he drank from the wadi. 1 Kings 17:4-6

So it struck me that the Lord said, “I will tell you what you need to know when you need to know it”. While we can pay attention to prophets and theories, if we pay them more attention than we do to our own prayer life we will actually miss what the Lord wants to tell us personally about our own situation. We are being distracted. If we take in what is “out there” instead of taking in the Lord Jesus Christ, His Word in Scripture, Himself in the Eucharist and speaking to Him in our prayer lives, then we can be deceived through distraction. We will be looking at something other than the one who saves.

I was struck by this recently in the Gospel on January 8. It is the scripture from Mark 6:45-52

 Immediately he made his disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side, to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. ⁴⁶ After saying farewell to them, he went up on the mountain to pray.

⁴⁷ When evening came, the boat was out on the sea, and he was alone on the land. ⁴⁸ When he saw that they were straining at the oars against an adverse wind, he came toward them early in the morning, walking on the sea. He intended to pass them by. ⁴⁹ But when they saw him walking on the sea, they thought it was a ghost and cried out, ⁵⁰ for they all saw him and were terrified. But immediately he spoke to them and said, “Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.” ⁵¹ Then he got into the boat with them, and the wind ceased. And they were utterly astounded, ⁵² for they did not understand about the loaves, but their hearts were hardened.

First, it struck me that Jesus is often going up to the mountain to pray. He does not stop praying, even on the busiest of days with hoards of people coming to see him. Remember prior to this he had performed so many miracles, including the miracle of the loaves and fishes. Prayer is His first priority, not the last. This is how He knows what the Father wants.

The Apostles at this point know Jesus is a miracle worker. Yet in this scene they do not recognize Him and they think He is a ghost. He intends to pass them by – for their hearts were hardened. I wondered what this was about. How had spending time with Him performing miracles hardened their hearts?

The answer is they were thinking in a worldly way. Thinking of the accolades they would get for being with the guy who heals and feeds everyone. How great it feels to be with the healer healing. There is such a pride in this. I am sure dreams of a worldly empire were still entering their heads at this point. Finally, they can be better than the pagans in the Roman empire. Finally, they can be seen and thought of as important. Finally, they can be heard. After years of oppression, it was time for their empire to rise. Do you see the danger in this? Hearts harden looking at worldly accolade instead of growing in charity towards God and others with a disposition such as this. They didn’t know that their entire lives they were seen and heard by God, which is all that really matters. They focus on their suffering and wounds which have been lessened in Jesus’ presence, so they focus on the worldly consequences of this, rather than the heavenly joy Christ came to bring.

This situation requires a humbling. Enter in the straining against the wind. The feeling that you may perish. Thinking you see a ghost. No longer do you feel prideful. No longer do you even worry about the giant empire you want to build with the Messiah, but instead, you see how weak you are and how much you need Him. He can walk on water. He can command storms. He is way more than a worldly empire. He is love Himself. He teaches us how to pray because it is so very important.

Prayer is the raising of one’s mind and heart to God or the requesting of good things from God.” But when we pray, do we speak from the height of our pride and will, or “out of the depths” of a humble and contrite heart? He who humbles himself will be exalted; humility is the foundation of prayer, Only when we humbly acknowledge that “we do not know how to pray as we ought,” are we ready to receive freely the gift of prayer. “Man is a beggar before God.” CCC 2559

It is in our weakness that God’s power is made perfect. The weak have no one to rely on but God. Humility is the key to prayer which also makes it the key to spotting deception. Pride will devour you like a roaring lion.

I will leave you with another journal entry from December 27, 2024 when I was pondering the temptation of Christ on the Feast of Saint John.

Beloved Lily of the Father,

All creatures must undergo a test. This is because true love is a choice, not a feeling. You must choose love. You think that choosing love means never failing. But how would you know the bounds of My love if you were fully perfected from the start? You would, as Adam and Eve did, attribute power to yourselves, that you could be like God. You can now know the fathomless bounds of My mercy. True love in a creature asks for mercy and gives mercy. It is borne from the font of humility. It knows that I AM good, all the time and does not hide from me weakness or imperfection. If I allow you to be tempted, it is to reveal an area of your heart to you. I reveal to you where you do not trust my goodness, nor do you understand my limitless mercy. Though I AM God, when I became incarnate, I did not deem equality with God something to be grasped, as Adam and Eve did. I emptied Myself. My Mother understands this. The posture of the creature must be meek and humble of heart, it is here that temptation and deception can be resisted. The measure of charity can only grow for the docile of heart. Be not afraid, I work all things for the good of those who love me.

• Your Divine Spouse