“For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens. Therefore, put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done everything, to hold your ground” Ephesians 6:12-13
Some of you had asked me to update you on my Lenten “giving up worry.” I have to say it has been very difficult. Within the first week, my oldest broke his arm, my second son had a bleeding black eye from the back yard battle field, and my daughter was having daily stomach aches and headaches for about a month. We also found out my oldest has food allergies that are overwhelming to say the least.
I think it is easier to give up worry when it is just yourself you have to worry about. But when I have to add my precious little ones into the mix, it makes it seem impossible. Then I remember, they too are His. They are not mine, they were a gift from God to me, but they always belong to Him. He loves them more than anyone, which is hard for me to imagine. I am trying to keep that in mind as we progress through Lent.
I took my friends advice and tackled each thing that was under my control and then let the rest go. Take the oldest to the orthopedic, and get a cast. That school and his other activities will be harder with his right hand casted, well he can control some of it, not me, and so I leave it to him and God. As for his allergies, take one meal at a time, and breathe deeply a lot, don’t look too far ahead, just at the meal you are making right now. My second needed a butterfly bandage to close the wound, and a bag of ice. Those pictures in my head that say, “what if the plastic battle axe had hit him directly in his eye and blinded him?” Well, I tried to silence those. I told myself, “that did not happen, his Guardian Angel was watching over him.” And I offer up thanksgiving that all things are minor. I took my daughter to the Doctor to discover the culprit was a sinus infection, and so melted away my thoughts of a brain tumor and the like. I must tell you, when you actually “give up worry” it becomes VERY apparent how much you do worry. I spend A LOT of time with negative thoughts that never come to fruition. Luke 12:25 tells us, “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” I am here to tell you, the answer to that is NOT ONE HOUR, in fact, I would venture to say it would remove hours from your life span.
And have I had bigger worries? Yes, I have. Right now this moment, my Aunt has breast cancer that spread to her spine. I went to bed one night and I felt compelled to ask Saint Padre Pio to intercede for her. I have to say, the Saint I am usually compelled to pray for intercession from is the Blessed Mother, but this night I was pulled to pray for St. Padre Pio’s intercession. So I did, because I can do that, and it helped me let go of the worry. The next morning I came downstairs to clean my office and on my children’s craft station I found a prayer booklet of the prayers of Padre Pio, even though I keep my prayer books in my Peaceful Place. I know I could write it off as coincidence, but I know enough now to know that nothing is coincidence. I took this as my sign that St. Padre Pio is interceding for her.
I quickly emailed my Aunt to let her know. She emailed me back to tell me she had said the Saint Padre Pio prayer while on the radiation table the day before. I was astonished. I should know now not to be surprised by the power of Prayer. A series of other events had also taken place with other family members as well, and all I will say is, that where there was no hope, now hope abounds. Please keep my Aunt in your prayers. I believe in Miracles. And I am doing my best not to worry about her and let God and his Angels and Saints work miracles.
My mantra this Lent has become, “Jesus I trust in you,” as St. Faustina told us to say. I find myself repeating it often. I would like to tell you have I have not worried, but it would not be truthful, however, I am doing much better. This has been a lesson on changing negative thought into positive thought. The thought that I know God will take care of me. I will not let the Father of Lies tempt me into believing his lies. All the negativity, that is not of God. So as Jesus was tempted in the desert, I believe these negative thoughts are tempting me to not believe in God’s goodness. But I answer, I do believe, even in suffering, that GOD IS GOOD. Jesus I trust in you. He answers me, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27
I Love reading your writings – your thinking and feeling are so close to my own. I get a lot of reading these. Thank you so much for putting your thoughts out there.
Thank you so much.
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