“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” Luke 22:31-32
I realized this is a prediction about Charlie Kirk. People have been mourning him all over the world. There aren’t just prayer vigils in America, but also the UK and South Korea. And I see a sifting happening. Evil has shown itself and people are taking sides. It is like we can see the separating of the sheep from the goats. And many call evil good and good evil. Charlie’s assassination has provoked an awakening. People are heading back to church. In my own hometown we had a vigil for him singing praise to God.
But of course, this has angered many, most especially Satan. We’re headed into more tumultuous times. We need more than ever to cling to Christ.
I sat in meditation over the 23rd Psalm yesterday. I closed my eyes and pictured myself laying in green pasture with Christ. He had his arms around me and I laid my head on his chest.
Suddenly it gets very dark. Pitch black. I cannot see. But I know His arms are around me. I hear growling like wolves all around. They are nipping at my heels. Jesus pulls me close. I can hear his heart beat. It is stronger than the growling. He tells me to be still, that He will fight for me. He doesn’t even let go of me to fight. He commands the angels. He whispers in my ear asking for just one thing. Yes, Lord, what do you want? Faith.
Though I can feel the beasts pressing in on all sides, I give Him my faith. I give Him my heart. No sooner do I do this and suddenly it is light, and I see we are surrounded by flowers. He tells me He has always been the keeper of the storm.
This meditation is what I feel represents the time we are now entering. When Jesus told me to be still, it was like a peace came over me. Be at peace, even in the darkest night.
I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. John 10:11
I know it has been awhile since I posted anything. I have spent my time praying and pondering all the sufferings in the world. I haven’t sat down to write on any of them until today.
First, I wanted to say, I do not like to get political in as much as I try to keep my eyes on Christ and love the people I come in contact with regardless of where they are coming from, but I do watch some political commentators and figures. One of them was Charlie Kirk. I liked to watch Charlie because he was always respectful of the people he came in contact with. He always listened to other points of view even if he disagreed. That was his thing, “ask me anything”. He could agree to disagree without screaming or getting violent. And most of all he never shied away from speaking of Christ. For this, I admired the man. So, I want to explain a series of events that happened starting last night and through the day.
Last night our fire alarm started beeping. My husband tried to change the battery and reset it but it resulted in all the alarms in the house going off. For me, when I hear alarms of any kind I pray. I take the alarms as a warning, and I pray. I don’t usually know what I am praying for, but God does.
Then I went to lunch for Radio Maria, USA and sat next to my friend Leah who started telling me about this amazing and strange dream she had last night. I will come back to this and tell you about the dream in a minute, as now with the news of Charlie Kirk’s passing the dream made perfect sense. But before I tell you the dream, I wanted to relay that on the way home from the lunch my friend Debbie and I prayed a Rosary, like we often do when we ride together. This was around 1:00 p.m. CST. After we finished the Rosary, I was expecting to chat and Debbie said, “let’s pray a Divine Mercy Chaplet for our country.” I agreed, so we did. It was later that the news of Charlie being shot happened shortly after we prayed for mercy. But the more profound part was Leah’s dream.
Leah sat next to me at lunch and said, “I had a very vivid dream last night.” She went on to explain that in the dream she was at a University surrounded by beautiful mountains. She has a daughter college age, so she thought perhaps they were visiting a University for her. She said she went into a large auditorium like place but it was pitch black inside. She saw a light in front of the room and realized a dark haired man was kneeling with his head bowed in prayer very close to a tabernacle that housed the Eucharist. He did not seem aware that the tabernacle was there. He had a silhouette around him of light that was emanating from the tabernacle. The only actual light in the room was the red sanctuary lamp with one candle burning in it, but light itself emanated from the tabernacle onto the man. Leah said she woke up at this point and had the Whitney Houston song in her head, Greatest Love of All.
She and I had pondered what this meant at lunch. We no longer have to speculate. The man in front of the tabernacle was Charlie Kirk. And though he was not Catholic I do believe he had the light of Christ. And he did believe the children were the future which is why his mission was to talk to the young at universities. My prayer now is that Charlie is with the Greatest Love of All.
We are at a turning point. Violence is increasing. God is being mocked and hated. We must persevere in love and fortitude. Choose love. May God Bless you all tonight and May God bless America.
2 Peter 3
Dear friends, this is now my second letter to you. I have written both of them as reminders to stimulate you to wholesome thinking. I want you to recall the words spoken in the past by the holy prophets and the command given by our Lord and Savior through your apostles.
Above all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. They will say, “Where is this ‘coming’ he promised? Ever since our ancestors died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation.” But they deliberately forget that long ago by God’s word the heavens came into being and the earth was formed out of water and by water. By these waters also the world of that time was deluged and destroyed. By the same word the present heavens and earth are reserved for fire, being kept for the day of judgment and destruction of the ungodly.
But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare.
Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells.
So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him. Bear in mind that our Lord’s patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him. He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction.
Therefore, dear friends, since you have been forewarned, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of the lawless and fall from your secure position. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.
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On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine gave out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what concern is that to me and to you? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” Now standing there were six stone water jars for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to them, “Fill the jars with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. He said to them, “Now draw some out, and take it to the person in charge of the banquet.” So they took it. When the person in charge tasted the water that had become wine and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), that person called the bridegroom and said to him, “Everyone serves the good wine first and then the inferior wine after the guests have become drunk. But you have kept the good wine until now.” Jesus did this, the first of his signs, in Cana of Galilee and revealed his glory, and his disciples believed in him. John 2:1-11
I write in my journal as if the Lord is speaking to me. I write what pops into my head in words and images. If what I have written the church says is wrong, then the church is correct and I am wrong. Discern that as you read.
August 13, 2025
Beloved Lily of the Father (redacted);
You come before me asking about your suffering. Suffering after suffering. You lament that it feels like you cannot catch your breath before the next wave happens. You tell me you feel empty, as if you have nothing left to give.
Do you not realize that this must be so? I desire your vessel to be empty. I AM preparing to fill you in a way that will amaze you, but I need surrender. I need you empty of attachment to honor, pleasure, wealth, and power. I need you surrendered, dependent, empty of all that is not ME. I need you humbled.
Oh, you boastful hearts, if you only knew what true humility was you would not fight it so hard.
You have wondered about the days ahead, about the prophecies, about when I WILL act, as if you can know the mind of God.
Some things are not for you to know, but for you to TRUST, completely and totally.
I AM preparing you to be an oblation. I do not expect you to be perfect. I AM perfect. I expect you to enter fully into Divine Worship. Your life is to become a liturgy. Whether you live or die, live and die in worship of my Glory. I AM transfiguring love.
A time is coming when the Spirit will flood the earth. All with see with clarity. Partake in the heart of the Immaculate Conception. Her heart is the Ark of these times. The refuge of the flood. I give you a share of the Immaculate Conception because I Glory in your healing. I AM GLORY.
Yesterday you burned your right hand. As the pain seared through the night I put on your heart my Priests and their consecrated hands. My hands bore wounds for their hands to bring healing.
Woe to those Priests who abuse their power and authority with those anointed hands.
Come judgment the Priestly hands will either burn unconsumed in the fire of my Love and Glory or they will burn in agony for the sins committed against my Sacred Heart and against the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
Pray daily for Priests, when the outpouring flood comes, people will flock to them. Pray they cause no more Sorrow.
Do not wallow in dismay as you see catastrophe come, but persevere in prayer and trust with your entire being. You feel scattered now as the Apostles did during my Passion, but a time of unification is coming. True unity is union with ME.
Make up for what is lacking. Love is lacking in the human heart. Love with all that you are. It is love that makes you blameless and calls down my mercy and perfection.
My bride is to be Immaculate.
Rev. 3:05 – If you conquer, you will be clothed like them in white robes, and I will not erase your name from the book of life; I will confess your name before my Father and before his angels.
The Most Holy Trinity
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Then he showed me the river of the water of life, bright as Crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb through the middle of the street of the city; also, on either side of the river, the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit each month; and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. Revelation 22:1-2
Talk at Saint Rose of Lima, Murfreesboro, Tn for the Charismatic Renewal Retreat.
Unfortunately the very end was cut off early but I spoke about perseverance in prayer and not giving up.
Then Satan stood against Israel and incited David to number Israel 1 Chronicles 21:1
A few years back I wrote and told you all about how I had seen a goat-headed demon and he had said to me, “I will wear you out”. I had another vision in prayer of a demon pummeling me in the old chapel at my parish. The other day I went to my friend and mentor, Jansen Bagwell, because he is an expert in deliverance. I relayed to him a lot of things I am going through, including these past interior experiences. Jansen told me it was God who revealed those interior visions to me and that the Lord was showing me the intentions of the demons. By letting me know their intentions I can fight more intelligently.
I came home to ponder all that Jansen said and I was also reading Deliverance Ministry by the International Catholic Charismatic Renewal Services Doctrinal Commission. The book said that spiritual bondage doesn’t just happen to individuals, sometimes it can happen to entire nations, sometimes it can be through systems of operation. The book defined Spiritual Bondage as an inner demonic influence by which a person’s will is bound or constrained to some degree, such that the person is unable to freely choose the good in certain situations. Spiritual bondage involves some degree of consent to demonic influence, whereas oppression does not necessarily involve consent.
And I thought of how I had become exhausted, but that it wasn’t just me. Person after person I spoke to were feeling the same effects. The intentions those demons had for me are the larger intentions the demons have for anyone who really wants to choose Christ. If Satan can’t convince you to mortally sin, he can manipulate the systems you use to get a back door of consent to influence your life and wear you out. I realized our systems have incited us to number the people who follow us, and even for those of us who don’t buy into that way of thinking, we are constantly bombarded with everything we turn on to “like and subscribe” so as to monetize even the holiest of things. And while we may genuinely not want to be influenced by this, the fruit shows us an electronic exhaustion and an attachment to reputation by numbers that has seeped into hearts.
God didn’t want David to number his people because by doing so David was relying on himself and his own military strength rather than on God’s Providence. Saint Augustine’s commentary on the psalms said, “when you begin to count your forces, you begin to trust in yourself, rather than Me.”
The result of David’s numbering was a choice of chastisement. He chose the 3-month plague. Does anyone see a parallel to COVID 19? And yet since then the world has gotten more frenzied not less. We turned toward technology to save, and our relationships suffered while we were locked out of God’s houses of prayer. At least David repented. That we should do the same. Lord have mercy on us.
Fast forward to today and it is plain to see that people don’t know who the real enemy is. The online world has further torn us apart, and even the “good” things out there, from the prophecy we see posted online, to the meditations, to the podcasts, there is an electronic exchange that seems to be stealing our souls. It’s a corruption that has seeped in, involving a level of consent. I sit here telling you this and knowing that I am typing this on a blog that wants to show me stats while at the same time my inbox gets bombarded by people who want me to use the platform to advertise. I have thus far refused because I really do want you to have one place to come to where an ad doesn’t pop up in your face. It’s exhausting. And please understand, I don’t begrudge anyone wanting to make money to care for their loved ones. That’s not why I am writing this. I think technology is a tool that is can be used for good, but what I see happening more often is a lack of real relationship and a distraction from what is actually Godly, even if the work we are doing appears Godly. The system is being usurped by demons, and we find ourselves in bondage.
My friend Rob Marco told me he bought a typewriter a little while back. He said he fell in love with the art of writing again. He said,
“There was something cathartic and real about the clackety-clack of the typeslugs hitting the page; the physical work involved in banging out paragraphs; the amazing fact that I could produce words without electricity anywhere, and didn’t have to worry about being hacked or remembering a login password or uploading it to the cloud. It does one thing and it does it well. There is no distraction, because if I don’t write, the machine just sits there like a boulder on the table waiting for me. I am not being sold something, reduced to that of a consumer. Rather, I can be a producer, should I choose to do the work. The page I pull off is real, inky, intentional but full of mistakes and typos – and real. It exists…..”
Rob wrote that in relation to a commentary on Latin Mass. But he hit on something that has affected everything, from the Liturgy to the minutia of the daily grind. Our identity is being stolen. Our worth is being questioned. With the advent of AI we need not even write anymore. We don’t even know if the videos we watch are real since AI can reproduce our images and our voices. And as the enemy trains our minds how to think, our bodies become consumers who don’t really produce. The humanity is gone. How many of you have a voice that tells you that you are worthless? It gets louder with each subscription to someone else’s fame. But that voice is a lie and so is the fame. There is only one who needs to see you and only one who is good.
“Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. Mark 10:18
Can we plant a garden without filming it? Does everything we produce need to be seen? Do we have prayer time that doesn’t involve headphones filled with someone else’s imagination? Is our reality real? or is it virtual? There is an electrical exchange that is happening, and it is hampering our ability to know God.
My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me John 10:27
This electronic exchange is purposeful and planned, and we have consented to the numbering. It is stealing our light. That is not to say that good and true Evangelization hasn’t also happened using these electronic tools, but I what I am issuing is a warning. It is an age old warning;
You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness. So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober. For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk, get drunk at night. But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet.
1 Thessalonians 5:5-8
Be children of the light. It is okay to use the systems we have but see them for what they are. Do not let them distract you from knowing Jesus is your Lord. Do not let pride creep in and check your interior motivation when using these tools. Do not think you can rely on yourself or these systems to save you. If you think you can then your mind has already been marked with a beast.
Keep heaven in mind always as your goal, your salvation should ever be at the forefront. Ponder what it would be like to be without all this stuff. If it was taken away, would you still love and seek God and know that He is good?
God is good, He loves you. Like and subscribe to that ideology and life will pour abundantly.
P.S. I am in the middle of reading a phenomenal book called Padre Pio and You by Mary O’Reagan. I hope to write a longer review when I am finished, but so far the spiritual wisdom held within the book has been a lifeline to me. I just wanted to mention that.
If you would like to purchase our new book Consecration to the Holy Family please click here or here
So let us not grow weary in doing what is right, for we will reap at harvest time, if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9
I think we are entering into the time period which many of us has long thought would happen. The escalation in the Middle East and in the world shows that the storm is coming at us full speed. I am not here to comment on politics or give my opinion into the vast array of opinions. Over the years when I have asked the Lord what is it you want me to speak? I consistently heard the Lord tell me to direct all eyes to Him. He points me to a bigger view of salvation history which helps keep anxiety at bay if you can see from a God’s eye view instead of getting caught in the minutiae of the daily dominos that fall.
Today, I was struck by a passage from The Mystical City of God by Venerable Mary of Agreda. In chapter 7 she elaborates on the disposition of Lucifer that led him to fall. She states;
They (the angels)received a more explicit intelligence of the being of God. One in substance …and they were commanded to adore and reverence Him as their creator and highest Lord infinite in his essence and attributes. All subjected themselves to this command and obeyed but with a certain difference. The good angels obeyed through love on account of the justice of it, offering their love and goodwill, freely admitting and believing what was above their intelligence and obeying with joy.
Lucifer, on the other hand,submitted himself because the opposite seemed to him impossible. He did not do it with perfect charity, for he, as it were, was divided in his will between himself and the infallible truth of the Lord. In consequence, it happened that the precept appeared to him in a measure difficult and violent, and his fulfilling of it was wanting in love and in the desire to do justice. Thus, he exposed himself beforehand to the danger of not persevering.
Although grace did not leave himon account of his remissness and slowness in the accomplishment of these first acts, never the less, his bad disposition began with them, for they remained within him a certain weakness and laxity of virtue and spirit and the perfection of his nature did not shine forth as it should.
She goes on to say that this disposition put him in danger of falling. And we all know the story that He did fall.
You’ll remember that my Spiritual Director once told me that the Saints in heaven do God’s will joyfully, fully and immediately. This is what God is calls us to do. This is how He can elevate our nature, when we are docile to His will, especially when it’s hard. It is the path to perfection.
This is why it is so imperative for us in our Spiritual Life to be in constant communication with God through prayer and to check our interior disposition often. Are we split between our own will and God’s? Have we exposed ourselves to the danger of not persevering?
Recognizing these things within ourselves is key. Are we doing what we are doing for love of God? If we are, God will perfect our nature to shine forth. If we are not, we are in for great purification.
Though the world looks scary and the surrender of my will may appear to me difficult and violent, the bigger danger, the one that happens if I do not persevere in the belief of the goodness and love of God, is that my soul gets lost. I asked the Lord daily to increase charity within me. In this year of hope, I do not want to get lost in the swamp of darkness of other men’s hearts. I want to be tucked securely into the Sacred Heart.
I pray, help me Lord to love like you love. Give me your heartwith which to love because mine is deficient.Create in me a clean heart, O God.
We have no idea what tomorrow holds but we can persevere. We can shine light in the darkness.
Psalm 27
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
When evildoers assail me to devour my flesh— my adversaries and foes— they shall stumble and fall.
Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war rise up against me, yet I will be confident.
One thing I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple.
For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will set me high on a rock.
Now my head is lifted up above my enemies all around me, and I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing and make melody to the Lord.
Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud, be gracious to me and answer me! “Come,” my heart says, “seek his face!” Your face, Lord, do I seek. Do not hide your face from me.
Do not turn your servant away in anger, you who have been my help. Do not cast me off, do not forsake me, O God of my salvation! If my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up.
Teach me your way, O Lord, and lead me on a level path because of my enemies. Do not give me up to the will of my adversaries, for false witnesses have risen against me, and they are breathing out violence.
I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!
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Christ giving the keys to Saint Peter – Peter Paul Rubens 1614
And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” Matthew 16:18-19
With the election of our new Pope, I have found myself once again pondering Saint Peter and the fact that Jesus chose him to lead the church, when out of all the Apostles he is the one who seems to fall the most or who Jesus corrects the most in the scriptures.
Just a cursory glance at the scriptures and I can think of at least 4 and possibly 5 corrections or rebukes that Jesus hands out to Peter. I want to focus on two of those instances though all of them have this common thread. Peter was corrected in Matthew 16:21-23;
From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!”Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”
And John 18:7-11;
Again he asked them, “Whom are you looking for?” And they said, “Jesus of Nazareth.”Jesus answered, “I told you that I am he. So if you are looking for me, let these people go.”This was to fulfill the word that he had spoken, “I did not lose a single one of those whom you gave me.” Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it, struck the high priest’s slave, and cut off his right ear. The slave’s name was Malchus. Jesus said to Peter, “Put your sword back into its sheath. Am I not to drink the cup that the Father has given me?”
In both of these instances Jesus is trying to do the will of the Father and Peter is a hinderance. But from Peter’s perspective he is trying to save Jesus from harm. His faith is so strong that Jesus is the Messiah, but his perspective is off about what the Messiah is coming to do. For Peter, he is saving Jesus. How can you not just love Him and His zeal for Christ? And isn’t this something we have all struggled with? It’s the delicate balance of knowing when God is telling you to act, and when God is asking you to stand down so he can act. The word I would use to describe Peter is tenacity. But unfortunately, his tenacity got the better of his discernment.
It takes a great listening to the Lord and even then, we see Peter, who listened directly and still didn’t get it. Yet his boldness is endearing, and the Lord knew his heart. Jesus just had to strip him completely of any ego that believed he could save Jesus. St. John Chrysostom tells us that the Lord’s rebukes weren’t to shame him, but to show him grace so he would grow into the Rock upon which the church was built.
It makes sense to me that Jesus chose Peter to be the leader of the church. Here is a man whose heart yearns to guard the truth. When Peter finally realizes, after falling hard, that Jesus saves, he did grow into the leader that Jesus saw all along and Pentecost brought all the gifts that heaven could bring upon Peter.
But there is a lesson in this for all of us. In our society today it is often confusing, especially on the ground in our parishes and in the world. When do we speak up and defend Jesus with everything we have, and when do we acquiesce to something that, for all intents and purposes, is evil so that God can purify us and bring something greater? It is a question I ponder often.
We see in the book of Jeremiah that the Lord sometimes does tell us not to act. Judah has become so steeped in idolatry that God tells Jeremiah to stop praying and interceding for them. God says;
As for you, do not pray for this people, do not raise a cry or prayer on their behalf, and do not intercede with me, for I will not hear you. Jeremiah 7:16
Judah experiences a tragic downfall because of their sin and idolatry. They had been repeatedly warned for over 400 years. Saint Augustine saw God’s long-suffering patience for Judah as a model of divine mercy. But justice finally had to come. It is the consequence of persistently breaking covenant. I see this in our world today, our persistence in sin. For now, the Lord has kept asking me to pray so I do. I wonder how much long-suffering the Lord will endure, how much Our Lady will weep?
But for Judah they fell. And yet we know that Jesus is the lion of Judah. He came from the line that fell. The hard fall produced good fruit. God’s ways are better than our ways if only we have the foresight to see.
Do not weep. See, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered, so that he can open the scroll and its seven seals. Revelation 5:5
Though Peter wasn’t idolatrous in any way, he did need his idea that he was the savior of the Savior purged. And this purging for him also came through falling. The goal is always humility before the Lord. Peter was humbled and wept. And Jesus’ allowing him to fall broke open his heart so he could receive the Holy Spirit.
I have said before that I try to view life through the lens of the life of Christ, especially the Passion. It helps me to discern because God gave us the scriptures and a guidepost. Jesus’ life, passion, death, resurrection, ascension and sending of the Spirit, the story we know, helps us to discern what is happening now wisely. And by focusing especially on the Passion we have clearer eyes to see when we should act and when we should not. All of it gives us indication of when to speak, when to be silent, and when to be obedient even if things look dire. I check my intent and my ego often because I know from experience that falling hard can be difficult to get up from. But even if this happens, get up and believe. Pray without ceasing. Ask God daily if you are doing what He wants you to be doing and then just trust that because you love Him, he will work all for your good no matter how messy it is along the way. Just ask Saint Peter.
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I see the church as a field hospital after battle. – Pope Francis
My husband and I traveled to Bosnia- Herzegovina to the little town of Medjugorje where the Blessed Virgin has allegedly appeared since 1981. This is my second trip to the region, but it was my husbands first time. People have many opinions about the place including me and I will expound on that further in this post, but it is worth noting that on September 19, 2024, the Vatican granted Medjugorje the NIHIL OBSTAT, which is the highest level of approval the church can give, according to the new norms established by the Vatican in May of 2024.
“The Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith, with the assent of Pope Francis, grants approval for devotion linked to Medjugorje, recognizing the abundant spiritual fruits received at the Sanctuary of the Queen of Peace without making a declaration on the supernatural character of the Marian apparitions.”
It has been 7 years since I last set foot in the small little town nestled between two mountains. There were many things that I remember that felt exactly the same, while other things that were different. There’s something about the cool breeze under the trees in the outdoor area that exudes peace and makes you want to pray. That has not changed. Neither has the phenomenon of the sun dancing. My husband saw it too. He believes me now. The sun is quite something in Medjugorje, even in the pictures you take.
This photo I took on May 14 looks quite like the Monstrance they display in evening adoration.
My friend Leah took this one the same day;
And I couldn’t help but think of Our Lady of Guadalupe, like receiving a sign for those of us from the Americas.
Even the rays of sunlight seemed to hit just in the right place;
Me and Jason climbing Cross Mountain
Sun at Medjugorje May 12, 2025
I experienced healing from the caring for and death of my mother last year while climbing cross mountain and reciting the stations of the cross. You all may remember how difficult it was to watch my once strong mother be decimated by dementia and left as a shell of the woman she once was. It was at the 10th Station that the flood of tears came remembering how I had to care for her by bathing and changing her, and even how she waited and passed after my siblings and I went to sleep – as if to be alone when she left us.
Tenth Station – Jesus is stripped of his clothes
We adore you O Christ and we praise you, because by your Holy Cross you have redeemed the world.
…People stare and gloat over me. They divide my garments among them and cast lots for my clothing. (Ps 22, 17-18)
Enduring being undressed
I endured being stripped of my clothes, being deprived of my most intimate things. I let it happen that they ignored my sense of shame and invaded my privacy.
You want to have at least some tiny sphere for yourself, some area that belongs to you only, that must not be invaded by anybody else. You want to have something that nobody must see, otherwise your dignity would be offended. You are prepared to guard it and to hide it from anyone else’s eyes. You are convinced to have a right to it. You want to keep it at all costs as your most intimate possession and you are ready to fight for it. But there is a moment when there is no chance for you to save anything for yourself. There are situations when you must let everything go, there will be nothing left to you yourself. You are deprived of everything. You have to get through this cross. Give everything to God. We, my Father and I, will remain your most intimate and untouchable sphere. It is not only a cross when your body is violently stripped of clothes, it is much more painful when your soul is stripped. Your sins removed the cover long ago and you are ashamed.
Accept this cross, and nobody will be able to degrade you. Allow your Father to give you new clothes. Sacrifice your privacy, he will transform it into perfect innocence. In vain you will strive for innocence. Admit being too weak to attain it.
This is the tenth cross – the cross of man’s disregarded sense of shame, the cross, of man’s longing for innocence, the cross of man’s fear that anybody might learn his guilt.
Accept this cross and you will meet me. Your fear will dissolve. Admit being weak, admit being what you are: a man degraded by sin. If you admit that nobody will ever harm you.
Look around you, dear children, and you will see to what extent sin has already seized power on earth. Therefore, pray that Jesus may win (Medjugorje message from Our Lady – September 13, 1984)
10th Station of the Cross – Cross Mountain – Medjugorje
After the recitation of this station I let go of the grief, the guilt, the sorrow. Things were as they should be for my mom. God was in the mess and her cross was united to His. I truly believe she lived her purgatory on earth.
Which brings me to the next thing about Medjugorje. The place truly is a field hospital. That was my favorite thing that Pope Francis said and it shaped my perspective on how to reach out to people. May his soul rest in peace. It was an honor to be in Medjugorje when the election of Pope Leo XIV happened. The bells were ringing loudly.
But back to the Field Hospital: There is one thing in Medjugorje that sticks out more than anything else. It is the lines for Confession. There is a plaza area next to the church and it is where confession is held. People come from all over the world to confess their sins, and the Priests line up around the area and put what language they speak in front of them. The sacredness of it made me get goosebumps as if I could see sins being lifted away by heaven. Pope Benedict XVI referred to the place as the World’s Confessional.
You will see all kinds of people in Medjugorje. This may make some people raise an eyebrow, but for me, it made me see the battle weary. I saw the mess of war with powers and principalities that was brought by the destructiveness of the sexual revolution and the abuses of the Eucharist in the Mass. I saw the need for the field hospital. In fact, one day I saw a man dressed as a woman sitting on the ground and sobbing in confessional plaza. Conversion was happening. I could visibly see it. Though I know he had a long road ahead, his bleeding was being tended to. I pray that his conversion becomes complete.
People often ask why the messages of Medjugorje are so simple and repetitive. They think it doesn’t make sense, but to me it makes perfect sense. In a society that is so far from God, that is so addicted, and so molested in thought, the sharp knife of simplicity and repetition of the message of love, cuts through the demonic battle armor of hard heartedness and reveals the wounds that require a medic; the medic of confession which is the beginning of conversion. It is the place of the Alpha. I pray all is guided to the Omega and perfect love reigns.
For those of us who have long lived our Catholic faith fruitfully, we may feel we don’t need the place or the messages, but I can tell you there is a whole world of people out there who do. From the drug dealer turned Priest, to the Wall Street banker turned Priest. The fruits of the place are bringing living water to a church that is so thirsty and had been drying up.
In no other apparition site that I can think of does it offer not only confession but the reparative hike up a mountain top to commune with the glory of God. It takes effort and willingness and prayer. Your cleansed soul can repair and unite the suffering to Christ. And you leave different than you came.
Jason prays at the Cross at the top of Cross Mountain
I noticed this time as compared to last there were many more people receiving on the tongue and kneeling for communion as if the past 7 years had drawn them closer and given the gift of piety because the belief in the Eucharist is so strong. Even my husband, who has deep faith, left with a renewed sense of purpose and a resolve to strengthen his prayer life.
It was suggested by Father Leon, the English-speaking chaplain, that our Lady desires us to pray the full Rosary and all her mysteries from the heart and that if enough of us did this peace would reign. People say they don’t have time, but as Medjugorje seer Ivan pointed out, time is not our problem, love is.
It is worth listening to Fr. Leon’s entire testimony because Our Lady spoke to him of a time when almost all Catholics would walk away from the faith, but the prescribed antidote is available in the 5 stones of Medjugorje.
As I wind down from the trip and unpack everything, I pray for all of you out there. I pray that you find the peace that surpasses understanding, that your wounds may be healed, that your relationships are reconciled, and that you fully know the love of God. Please, please pray for our Priests. They need it.
Foot of the Cross on Apparition Hill – Photo by Leah Fish
The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you. Romans 16:20
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Stand therefore, and fasten the belt of truth around your waist, and put on the breastplate of righteousness. Ephesians 6:14
I hope everyone had a blessed and happy Easter and Happy Divine Mercy Sunday. I know it has been a while since I have written anything. My prayer of late has been more silent. Though I used to feel heaven pour over me, this past year most of what I hear the Lord speak to me is a single word, “wait“. So I pray, I hope, I wait. The sufferings of the past and present have drawn me closer, but in this time of aridity I feel as if I am in a cocoon, awaiting a day to break free into a butterfly. We are on a precipice of major change. With the passing of Pope Francis, I feel this more than ever. Eternal Rest Grant unto him O Lord.
On the Monday of the Pope’s passing I went to Mass at our Cathedral. During Mass I felt the Lord speak to me about 1 Samuel 8. This is the passage where Israel requests a King like the other nations. It is when they entered into the Body Politic. I felt the Lord say to me at Mass that day, “I will rule over you directly”. Now, I don’t know exactly what this means, and it is not a commentary on the next Pope, or the election of the Pope. It was more like a sword of the Spirit piercing my heart and calling me gird my loins for battle. Hold fast to the belt of truth for we are about to enter into a new epoch. It is an epoch where man will be attempting to glorify himself without glorifying God and without recognizing the Blessed Virgin Mary as God’s ultimate glory of creation. He spoke to me of Mary as the Mediatrix of All Graces and as co-redemptrix and He told me to “make it known”. Making this known speaks of the greatness of God and what He wants for His creatures. She is the pinnacle of creation.
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying,
“See, the home of God is among mortals. He will dwell with them; they will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them; he will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away.”
Revelation 21:1-4
Whenever I read this passage of scripture I think of Mary, the first home of God among mortals. But more than that, I see how He wants to dwell in all of us. Mary is the tabernacle of God. She houses the Eucharist within her. Like Mary, we are called to be living sanctuaries in whom the Eucharist dwells.
The powers that be in the secular world and the devil himself would love to banish the Eucharist and woe to those within the church who cooperate with this. This is what I keep a look out for. I look for those who want to remove the Eucharist more than I look at any other of the many storms in the world. And while I think prophecy is a good thing and I believe whole heartedly we should pay attention to it, I sometimes think it can distract us and keep us looking in a wrong direction; a direction that looks to save the body but neglects the soul because fear becomes a focal point. Love should be the focal point.
God is love. 1 John 4:8
The preparation I have felt called to has always been about preparation of the heart, which manifests itself not in the stockpiling of food and water (though I think having food and water on hand can be a prudent thing to do) but in a preparation of my home to be a true domestic church. To have a home with real relationship with God and with my family. A place where hearts are known and seen. A place where people’s gifts are cultivated and not torn down. A home that houses the Bible, and the Rosary in prominent places. A home that has a place for prayer, a Mass kit if the Lord has called you to have one, blessed candles, holy water, and a devoted heart. A place where if worship were gone from our parishes, worship could still take place because the Father would still be honored by meditating on the Life of the Son.
I view life through the lens of Jesus’ life. I ask the Lord to show me how the life of Christ parallels what is happening now. God will reveal it to you if you ask. Our homes should reflect the Life of Christ. For if the world tries to snuff out the light of Christ, we need to be the light of Christ ourselves in the darkness. This is why we gird our loins. To have girded loins means we are steadfast and confident in God no matter what the future brings. It means we have eyes to see and ears to hear but most of all, it means we have purged ourselves of any motivation but love of God. No matter the suffering we must love.
I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18
I truly believe the era we are beginning now will bring down a great outpouring of the Holy Spirit and will reveal the God’s Glory in the Spouse of the Spirit, The Blessed Virgin Mary, even as things around us can look dire. But with our feet shod in the Gospel of Peace, we will stand firm. Have faith. God has won the Victory!
Ivan Dragicevic at Saint Philip in Franklin, TN kneeling to speak to Our Lady
If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14
We were privileged to have Ivan Dragicevic, one of the alleged Medjugorje Seers, at my parish this past Tuesday, April 4, 2025. All I can say is everyone was touched with hope. I bawled my eyes out during the Mass prior to his talk that honored Our Lady. It was like all the past years of suffering vanished in a collision of heaven on earth that brought peace, the Queen of Peace. We recorded Ivan’s talk. It is worth a listen, especially if you need to be uplifted.
Veil of Veronica 