The Healing Mass

Posted on September 14, 2014 by veilofveronica

They came bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men.  Unable to get near Jesus because of the crowd, they opened up the roof above him.  After they had broken through, they let down the mat on which the paralytic was lying.  When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, Child, your sins are forgiven.   Mark 2:3-5

I started my new mission as an Adult RCIA Coordinator at a new parish.  At Mass on Sunday the Priest invited us to a St. Anthony Healing Mass on the first Tuesday of the month.   Apparently, this is something they do the first Tuesday of every month.  I was delighted as I have heard about healing Masses before and have often wondered why there are not more of them.  After all, Jesus was the healer, we can pray and ask for healing from him and what a better place to do it than in the Liturgy that he left for us.

Now honestly, I wanted to go to the Mass with my oldest, who I refer to as “Little King”.  If you have read my previous posts, you know that he struggles with ADHD.  I have wanted to take him to a healing Mass for a long time now.  We have approached his treatment using science and the medical advancements, using alternative treatments, diet changes, and I thought, why not also approach it Spiritually as well.  So off to the healing Mass he and I went.

Whenever I seem to have an expectation of God, God always astounds me by showing me something totally unexpected.  I went to the Mass looking for physical healing of my son’s brain focus.  I left with something totally different, a gift for me, that I didn’t even know I needed.

Now I have never been to a healing Mass before.  I wasn’t sure how it would go.  And honestly after I arrived and Mass began,  I think I was outside my comfort zone.   The Mass began normally in the old Historic 1871 chapel, with it’s wood floors, amazing stained glass, and brick walls.  We had the Introductory Rites, the Liturgy of the Word, and then the Homily after the Gospel.  Then things changed.  The lights went out.  At first, because it had been raining, I thought the storm knocked the power out, but then I realized that the lights were still on in the outside hallway.  My son and I looked at each other, but said nothing.  Then the Priest came down to the front of the altar.  He began shouting almost, really loudly.  I honestly don’t remember what he was saying, because the people were saying their responses as well.  I think he was calling loudly upon the power of God to heal.  This is probably the closest thing I have ever attended to a charismatic event, though no one was speaking in tongues, and no one was falling over.  The congregation began to say, “I forgive you my brother, I forgive you my sister,” over and over as the Priest shouted with Authority.  I was caught off guard, but I joined in.  “I forgive you my brother, I forgive you my sister,”  I repeated over and over.  I wasn’t sure of this, but I know in my heart that forgiveness is needed and is powerful.   My son and I repeated and repeated as the Priest shouted.  Then I closed my eyes and the strangest thing happened.  Into my head popped almost every person I have recently been angry with.  Some were people who I had trouble forgiving for a long while.  The first image was of a person who had lied so very badly about me and almost ruined some of my most treasured relationships.  I realized the anger I was holding onto.  I realized, though I thought I had forgiven, I had not.  I realized I had to let it go.  Image after image of people who had hurt me popped into my head.  The final image that popped in my head was my own face.  There were things I needed to forgive myself for.   Tears started to seep down my face.  I tried hard to hold them in.  I didn’t want to be the crazy new girl crying at the new church she works at, but still tears fell.  My son seemed unfazed.  After a little bit the Priest stopped.  Then softly he said, some of you have had horrible childhoods, some of you have been molested, some of you have just simply been hurt really badly by another.  (That last one was for me.)  He told us it was time to forgive and let it go.  I felt a physical release.  We got up one by one and the Priest anointed our forehead and hands with Holy Oil.  I felt a tingling all the way down my hands to my elbows that lasted several minutes afterwards.  We finished with the Liturgy of the Eucharist and then we brought up food to be blessed and given to the poor. We prayed the litany of St. Anthony.   I was overwhelmed and amazed.  The healing had been for me.

I thought of the verse above about the healing of the paralytic.  Jesus’ has the power to physically heal, but His great power is really to heal our hearts.  He brought forgiveness to us, and when we give it to others, our lives can become transformed and peaceful. Incidentally, I saw this person who had lied about me not even one week after this Mass. It had been over a year since I had seen this person so I don’t think it was coincidence that this person was put in my path.  My heart did not respond with anger as I had thought it would.  Because of how far apart we were I did not get to speak to this person, but if I had been close enough, I would have said, “I forgive you, and I forgive myself.”  It is so good to feel peaceful inside instead of feeling angry.

My son and I left the church, I asked him what he thought.  He made me laugh because there was no mention of the lights going out, or the shouting, or even the anointing.  He just said as any 12 year old boy might say, “it was good mom, a little long, but good.”  Has he been physically healed?  I don’t know, but let’s just say that 7th grade so far is going much better than last year.  Is it perhaps because of the Doctors, the Brain Balance, or the Healing Mass? Maybe it’s all of them.  But I do know this, God has the power to heal.  I am living proof.

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God Moments

Posted on September 5, 2014 by veilofveronica

But grace was given to each of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift. 

Ephesians 4:7

The past few months have been quite a whirlwind.  To begin with, my youngest child entered kindergarten this year.  Big milestone her as a big kid going to school all day with her older brothers.  Also a big milestone for me as a mom.  All of my babies at school all day without me.  I am proud and sad all in one.

That said, because my husband and I choose to do private Catholic school, tuition payments can be a challenge.  I have been blessed to be a stay at home mother for 12 years, who worked a few hours a week at my church.  I know these years have been a gift.  Three tuitions, however, was going to be hard.  I began my summer in somewhat of a frenzy sending out resume’s to find a job in which I could help with those tuitions, but also something I felt called to do.  I love my kids school and it was God who led us there so I would like them to be able to stay there.  Besides my college degree, I am a licensed insurance agent, and I am a Diocesan Certified Catechist.  I would send my resume to churches and to insurance agencies.  One has really nothing to do with the other, but those were the two paths I could pursue when it came to finding a career.  To be sure, being an insurance agent would be the lucrative path.  Being married to “Mr. Finance Pants” I think that was a path he would have liked and I liked it too, as I have come across many wonderful people who work in this field.  But my passion in life is Jesus Christ.  I speak to Him every day in the hopes that one day my will can be totally conformed to His.

As I have explained in past posts, I tend to be an anxious person.  When I get anxious I find it hard to settle down and find the quiet to really listen to God.  Three tuitions had me anxious, so I wasn’t very quiet this summer.  I did a lot of talking to God and trying really hard to listen, not sure I could hear.  I could probably be seen driving down the interstate chattering away.  I wasn’t on the phone and I wasn’t singing.  I was talking to God.  I was telling him, “I am just really trying to trust you.  I am asking a lot.  I need to cover these tuitions, but I still want to be home for them when they get off of school.  It needs to be flexible, it needs to be enough- I mean I am not asking for richness, but enough!  I am just going to leave it to you Lord.  You have to find me a job.  You have to find me what you want for me. I am going to trust you.”

I’m not sure I did.  I was trying to trust.  But I wanted answers right NOW.  Before I left to visit my parents I lined up an insurance job.  I was going to be able to set my own appointments, make good money, and pay for those tuitions.  It was settled.  Or so I thought. 

I left to go visit my family.  I started off visiting my sisters and brother first.  They are awesome.  My family, they are my rock.  I was really enjoying the time off before my kids would all be in school and I would be off selling policies.  While I was at my sister’s house, I got an email from a church.  They had seen my resume and wanted me to come in on Saturday for an interview.  Saturday, I thought, I am 800 miles away visiting my family, I can’t go on Saturday.  I emailed back to advise that I was interested but out of town.  I received a call from one of the women at the church, and she advised me to write up a vision statement and email it to her.  If they liked my vision statement, they would call me back for an interview.  Okay, I thought, I can do that. 

At 11:00 p.m. I wrote up my vision statement and subsequently emailed it the next morning.  I was exhausted from travelling in my mini-van with my kids, I hoped it was good enough.  I left my sister’s to begin the 4 hour trek toward my parent’s home a few days later.  I talked in the car to God.  If it is meant to be Lord, open all the doors…

I arrived at my parent’s home, elated to see them.  They live 14 hours away from my home if you were to drive straight through.  I feel like I never get to see them, but when we do, it is always a joy.  We sit on their back porch, have a glass of wine, watch the children play, and just love each other. 

I received another email that they liked my vision statement and wanted to do a SKYPE interview because they needed the position filled by mid August.  Oh boy, I thought.  Do I even have any interview clothes? I found some, I did the interview.  And when I got home I got offered the job.  Adult RCIA and Faith Formation Coordinator, a job evangelizing, NO, it is a mission and calling Evangelizing!  Thank you Lord, yes I will be your servant!  All prayers answered, it was flexible and will allow me to be with my kids.  I will also get to talk about the Love of my life, Jesus Christ.  (And you too, Jason Skinner). 

So I have begun my new calling.  I had to switch parishes.  Amazingly, this is the parish where I had my moment with the stained glass window in the old chapel.  This is the parish where I had my confession of all confessions.  This is the parish where my husband did his devotion and confession.  All paths seem to have led us here.  This is my family’s new home. 

My first week there I was a little overwhelmed.  I used the analogy I have heard before when you are learning something new, it’s like drinking water from a fire hose.  I feel at the start of any new job it can be like that.  But I have souls I will be responsible for catechizing.  Am I up to your task Lord?  On the way in I said a prayer, “Lord, give me the grace to do your will in this position.  Give me the grace to get through this period of learning the role.  Lord, just give me the Grace.”

I arrived at work.  Outside my office door I saw a little crucifix on the floor.  The kind of crucifix you may see on a rosary bracelet, almost like a little charm.  Oh, I thought, somebody lost the crucifix to their rosary bracelet.  I began to walk down the hall.  I stopped in each office asking if anybody had lost this crucifix.  No, no, no, people said.  Eventually I ran into my boss.  She said, “oh we knew we dropped that on the floor, but we couldn’t find it.  I decided that whoever found it needed Grace for the day.  Susan Skinner, there is your Grace.  I took that crucifix to Rome with me and had it Blessed by Pope Francis.  It’s for you now, your Grace.”  I was dumbfounded! – Seriously Lord!  You tangibly handed me Grace.  You are an awesome God!  And that my friends, was a definitive God moment.  There have already been more… I will write about them later.  It is through God alone that I breathe and am able to be where I am. Blessings to all of you who read this.

 

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Struck by the Splinters of the Cross

Posted on July 24, 2014 by veilofveronica

“Listen to me, you islands; hear this, you distant nations: Before I was born the LORD called me; from my mother’s womb he has spoken my name.” Isaiah 49:1

I usually get my inspiration to write when I am running. It is a quiet time for me where I can look at the beauty around me while feeling the breath in my own body. It reminds me of my mortality, but it is as if my soul can be quiet enough to hear God. In the rhythm of my breathing and the pounding of my feet. I sometimes listen to Gregorian chant, the melody transports me up to heaven and clears my head for the important things in life. I know, I am weird.
Sadly, for the past little while this activity has been very difficult for me. I have been suffering from Plantar fasciitis and it is painful to run, and very painful to walk the next day. I have followed the protocol to fix this, but the problem persists, so I have taken to other forms of exercise. I miss running. It also makes my inspiration to write more sporadic. Please pray for my feet to heal. I know God has a plan for me, but in my effort to control everything, sometimes I just wish he would show it to me… but I know that is not how God works.
That said, for my exercise I decided to mow the lawn. Not quiet time at all, with the loud buzzing of the mower, but none the less, I felt inspired, so here I am writing. I have so far not really delved into the modern fighting that takes place in today’s society, but I feel compelled to today. I feel compelled to tell a personal story that will touch on a hot button topic. That topic is abortion.
My story starts with my ancestry. My grandmother to be exact. When my Grandmother was in her 60’s she found out she was adopted. Her mother, the woman who raised her, never told her she was adopted and the father she thought died in a war, may never have actually existed. What she did find out was that she was born with a different name than the one she had, and that the woman who she thought was her mother was not. Many of my family members have tried to investigate her ancestry, and have pieced together some scenarios, but due to the death of the woman who raised my Grandmother as her own, and a lack of the birth records (which may have been in a fire), we will perhaps never know the full truth.
The thought that has struck me time and again is that because her birth seemed so shrouded in secrecy, there must have been shame attached to it. In today’s day and age that kind of shame, the kind that breeds secrecy like that, would make a woman abortion minded. Some of the scenarios that I have been told that surround my Grandmother’s arrival on this earth are scenarios today where people would have an abortion. Whatever the case, I can’t help but think if my Great-Grandmother had been pregnant today, she may have been a woman at huge risk for aborting her child. That my Grandmother lived, I can perhaps attribute to the fact that the LAW protected her life. I often think about this. That if abortion had been acceptable back then, I would not exist. Though I know there was probably much suffering surrounding the birth of my Grandmother, the joy that was brought forth into the world by her and her family line has been boundless. There is no shame in that.
The impact of this on my family personally, is profound. My grandmother, with her murky story of coming into existence had 12 CHILDREN. I believe there are at least 54 grandchildren, and many, many more great-grandchildren. They are Doctors, Lawyers, Engineers, Teachers, Mother’s, Father’s, brothers and sisters. If my grandmother had been aborted there are literally now hundreds of us who would NOT EXIST.
I was once told (online) that if my ancestor had been aborted I wouldn’t be around “to give a f#@k,” (his words not mine) so I should just be pro-abortion. That presupposes that my life has no meaning, that my brother and sisters, that my cousins, my nieces and my nephews, we don’t matter to the world. I know for a fact that is not true. We matter. We matter to those who love us, to those whose lives we have impacted and most importantly to God, who knew us before He formed us in the womb. Every life is precious. The impact of abortion goes far beyond mother and child, it impacts generations, generations that are lost.
My church has always stood up against abortion, and I knew intellectually, that a fetus (which is just Latin for offspring) is a baby. I was always against abortion. But after learning this, it became deeply personal.
I also came to realize that whoever my great grandmother was, she must have endured great suffering. I am forever grateful that the law protected my grandmother. I am also grateful to my great grandmother for the suffering and sacrifice she endured to get my grandmother here.
I look at our society today, and I am appalled that the best we can do to help women today in dire circumstances is to tell them to kill their child so their life can go back to “normal.” I have had many conversations with people over abortion. Many kind, wonderful, really good people, who think abortion is acceptable. We have taught our society that it is okay to kill our children, and good people have accepted this, or remained apathetic toward the issue. If you have ever watched an abortion, you know it is the killing of a person. Most have never taken the time to watch one, which can easily be done online. Many abortions are performed on Christians. As a Christian we should be helping these women in need to find a better way. We should not shame them for their sin, God forgives those who ask forgiveness. If we as Christians stood up every day and said no! Enough! We will not kill our children! We will help those in need! Abortion would cease to exist. Instead we judge, we justify, we kill.
One day, after a particularly distressing conversation I had about abortion, I went to see Dr. Peter Kreeft speak. The topic of abortion came up. I expressed my dismay that good people just accept this as okay, and that I had gotten in a fight about it and felt I would be ostracized for standing up for the unborn. He told me, “Congratulations, you have been hit by the splinters of the Cross.” All I could think, is the biggest splinters were carried by my Great Grandmother, whoever she is, who, though she may not have wanted to, said yes to the life that God created, and birthed generations. Generations who are part of history and have made a significant impact on the world.

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Mother Thrice Admirable

Posted on May 29, 2014 by veilofveronica

Mary has guided and continues to guide all her children to Jesus, as she did at the wedding of Cana when she said to the dejected servants: “Do whatever He tells you” John 2:5…Hers is a teaching of the faith in Christ permeated with gentleness, profound knowledge of Jesus and human nature, as well as of her own most particular mission in the divine plan of salvation.

-Pope Benedict XVI

 

Today was one of my favorite days.  Why?  What was so special about today?  The answer to that is that Mary came to my house today.

We belong to a prayer group called The Pilgrim Mother Thrice Admirable, Schoenstatt Rosary Campaign.  A few months back a neighbor asked my family if we wanted to participate.  The Campaign consists of 10 families who each, for 3 days a month, receive the Icon of Mary Mother Thrice Admirable from Schoenstatt and promise, as a family, to pray the Rosary together and display the Icon in our homes. 

I didn’t know how it was going to go at first.  I had never heard of this Pilgrimage, one where you do not have to leave your home, and I wasn’t sure how the rest of my family would receive it.  But from the moment she entered my home, I felt peace.  The purpose of the Pilgrimage is to lead all people to her Son, Jesus; to acquaint people with Mary, the Mother Thrice Admirable (Mother of God, Mother of the Redeemer, and Mother of the Redeemed), and to pray the Rosary together.  

No matter where we are, or what we are doing, on these three days my family comes together and prays a full Rosary together.  My 5, 9, and 12 year olds along with my husband and me praying.  It can be the busiest, most hectic day, but then for a short while we all come together face to face with one another in front of the Icon and we pray.  We state our intentions and I learn what is on my little ones hearts.  I learn what is on my husband’s heart, and I watch him as he leads all of us it prayer.  It has centered us on what is important in life and slowed us down from our hectic lives.  I am always grateful when it is our turn.  It has opened us up to meeting people in the community.  People who also pray this in their homes.  It makes me feel a profound sense of community.  Adding this to the prayers we already say has been a huge blessing, making us slow down, making us come together, making us focus on our family.

The booklet that comes with the Icon explains, that we want the Mother Thrice Admirable to come and help form us into a holy family, into holy men and women.  We ask for the Graces to become an example to the world.  We ask for the religious and moral renewal of the family and thereby the renewal of the world. 

As I have stated previously, the family is essential to the world.  And so praying together as a family can help strengthen us and give us grace to go out into the world and make it a better place.  That is why today was so special for me.  And so for these 3 days each month, we are reminded of the greatness of God, through His Mother Thrice Admirable.Image

 

Schoenstatt Rosary Campaign

5825 Cottage Grove Road

Madison, WI 53718-1325

rosary@schsrsmary.org

608-223-0892

 

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And Jesus wept

Posted on May 13, 2014 by veilofveronica

Now there was a royal official whose son was ill in Capernaum.  When he heard that Jesus had arrived in Galilee from Judea, he went to him and asked him to come down and heal his son, who was near death.  Jesus said to him, “Unless you people see signs and wonders, you will not believe.” The royal official said to him, “Sir, come down before my child dies.”Jesus said to him, “You may go; your son will live.” The man believed what Jesus said to him and left.  John 4:46-50

 

As I look outside my window on this beautiful sunny warm day in the South, I see the glory of God everywhere.  It is imprinted on the trees, the grass, the birds, the clouds in the sky.  I take a deep breath and soak it in.  I see it in the ingenuity of the buildings around me that man created.  God is good.  But so often, we choose not to see this, and not to believe it.  What we choose, determines our path.  We can choose to see God’s goodness and live in the positive way He would like for us, or we can ignore it, selfishly plodding along, negativity surrounding us.

There are those of us who will never believe unless they see signs and wonders with their own eyes.  It makes me think of the above verse.  I think Jesus was sad. “Unless you people see signs and wonders, you will not believe.” A strange thing to say to a man who has a sick child.  But it is as if Jesus is aching for us to be His friend, and see His Father everywhere, rather than looking about for signs and wonders.  Fr. John Riccardo explains it well here.

Jesus wants us to be intimate with Him.  Look at the Glory of Creation.  Do you need a sign to tell you of God’s love when the intricacy of a blade of grass breathes His name?  There is another verse in the bible that had baffled me for a time.  It is known as one of the shortest verses in the bible;

“And Jesus wept.” John 11:45 

Found later in the Gospel of John, it is the story of Lazarus’ death.  Jesus delayed coming to him before He died, arriving only after His passing.  Just as with the sick child above, whom Jesus healed, Jesus uses the passing of Lazarus to show the Glory of God.  But before He does, he weeps.  Why would Jesus weep?  He can raise Lazarus.  Why such a passionate human response to his death when He knew He could raise Lazarus?  Jesus wept because sin is what brought us death.  He knows the pain of Lazurus’ sisters.  Jesus knows the full human condition.  The original sin that separated us from God and the sin we commit that continues to do so.

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” Romans 6:23.

How many times has Jesus wept over my sin?  Jesus weeps for us all the time.  He asks us to KNOW Him as Fr. Riccardo says.  So many don’t know Him.  They choose not to know Him.

If you allow Him into your life and really have a personal relationship with Him, the need for signs and wonders dissipates.  You can see and feel Him everywhere.  Receiving the Sacraments regularly really makes you know Him.  That personal relationship permeates your being.  That is what I strive for.  That is what the Saints achieved.  So on this beautiful day take a look outside yourself, allow God to touch your heart and go out and spread His love to others.

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The Tuesday Folder

Posted on April 30, 2014 by veilofveronica

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18

 

Ever since I have started this blog, I have not written too much about my children.  I chose to do this because their lives are theirs, and I don’t think they would always want their business out there on the internet.  That said, I want to talk a little bit about them today.  For now, we will just call them Little King, Beloved, and Princess.

Becoming a mother was much harder than I had ever imagined.  As I mentioned before, I suffered from Post Partum Depression.  Gone were my fantasies of putting my baby into the jogging stroller at 7:00 a.m. while a perfectly fit me jogged down to Starbucks for my Grande Peppermint Mocha.  I was lucky if I could even get a shower and make it through a day without crying.  Then, after having an ectopic pregnancy that was life threatening, I worried if I would only have one child.  But God had other plans.  Now I have my precious three here and that little one I lost in the ectopic who is in heaven.

I soon grew to love my new role as mother.  But I was literally astounded at how hard it was.  As my friend, Kathleen says, “I did my best parenting before I had children.”  As a singleton, I was arrogant.  As a mother I wanted to go back to my own mother and apologize for everything ever.  I never knew the trials of motherhood.  The pain, the pure joy.

Now, suffice it to say, my kids have had some issues.  Little King got a diagnosis of ADHD in first grade.  Severe ADHD.  My brilliant child, who spoke sentences at 15 months, couldn’t seem to get any work done.  Then came the questioning from other parents, maybe I just didn’t discipline him enough.  Maybe I was feeding him all the wrong things.  Whatever the case, it was DEFINITELY my fault.  At least that is how I felt anyway.

Beloved, went to pre-school for three years and never spoke a word.  He spoke at home.  But not at school.  Alas, after some research, he too had a diagnosis.  Selective Mutism.  An anxiety disorder, rooted in Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  This must also be my fault.  I was the anxious parent, I must have passed it on to him!

So again, being a mother is not all rosy all the time, because it is hard.  But as all parents out there know, it is so worth it.  We consulted Doctors, medical advice, and alternative medicine, for our boys.  After a year of pretty intensive therapy that me and my husband took (our Doctor said it would be useless for Beloved to be in therapy because he didn’t speak, so me and my husband took it and implemented what was taught to us), Beloved started speaking and he never looked back.  He is now our most outgoing child.  I was THRILLED when I got a note home in Kindergarten that Beloved was talking too much in class.  That was a huge victory for us.

As is the case with ADHD, Little King, has struggled every year in school in certain areas.  We have a plan for him.  He is actually gifted in certain areas, but things like organization and working memory, are not among those gifted areas.  It is a constant struggle.   Trying to balance discipline without breaking his spirit.  What is he capable of and what can he really not help.  I pray often about this.

This brings me to my main point today for writing.  The Tuesday folder.  Tuesday is the day the school sends home all of their work from the previous week.  Parents are to look at it and sign it and send it back so the teachers know they are aware of how their child is doing.  I have hated the Tuesday folder.

The Tuesday folder had become the nemesis that I dreaded getting.  I have often fantasized about what it would be like to open a Tuesday folder and see all 100% and feeling the pangs of jealousy toward those parents who did open theirs to find that.  The Tuesday folder was the marker for inadequacy in my family.  Inadequacy for all of us.  To be fair, my children really don’t always do that poorly in school, but let’s just say there aren’t all A’s.  Sixth grade for Little King has been particularly challenging.  I have been known to state, “I hate sixth grade.”  I am sure my son has felt something similar.

I was talking to one of the sixth grade teachers yesterday and I found myself complaining.  I said out loud, “I hate Tuesday.”  After I got in the car, I was a little embarrassed that I had verbalized that.  I started to remember how I had vowed to be Thankful in All things.  I thought, how can I be thankful for the Tuesday folder?

It dawned on me that the Tuesday folder has actually taught my children a very valuable lesson.  They know that I want them to do well and succeed in school, but they also know that no matter what mom and dad open up and find in the Tuesday folder, they are loved, unconditionally.  My love for them does not depend on what the piece of paper says.  My love for them is for every part of them.  Every inattentive, anxious part of them.  They have learned that if they fail something the world doesn’t stop turning.  That sometimes failure opens up a new way of learning or a new door.  I don’t know what Little King or Beloved will grow up to be, but whatever it is, be it a ditch digger or a rocket scientist, they are loved.  The Tuesday folder is just one very tiny small part in the journey of their souls.  I know the teachers who send home the Tuesday folder have said that they pray every day for my children and I feel blessed about that.  So I have decided not to fear the Tuesday folder, not to feel the inadequacy of it, but to embrace it, because it makes me show my children unconditional love.  I know God has big plans for them and He is shaping their souls into hopefully holy little people.

I did not mention Princess too much this post.  She is only in Pre-K.  When I got pregnant with her my prayer was simple, “healthy please Lord with no issues.”  So far, that has been the case for her.  But even if she ends up with issues, I will love her unconditionally.  No matter what is in her Tuesday folder.

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Don’t be Lukewarm

Posted on April 29, 2014 by veilofveronica

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“Today bring to Me the Souls who have become Lukewarm, and immerse them in the abyss of My mercy. These souls wound My Heart most painfully. My soul suffered the most dreadful loathing in the Garden of Olives because of lukewarm souls. They were the reason I cried out: ‘Father, take this cup away from Me, if it be Your will.’ For them, the last hope of salvation is to run to My mercy.”  –  Day 9 of the Novena of Divine Mercy as recorded in the Diary of St. Faustina

 

Easter this year was beautiful.  I watched as the children I taught were initiated into the Catholic Church.  It was truly inspiring.  The Sunday after Easter is Divine Mercy Sunday. We celebrated the Devotion of St. Faustina at church and it got me thinking.  I was lukewarm.  I look back on my life, there were times when I was more fervent, closer to the Lord than other times, but a good majority of my adult life, I was lukewarm.  What does that mean?  It meant that I said I believed, but I lived a worldly life.  I bought into the things society tells us are good.  I thought the church was old and outdated.  I was embarrassed to tell people I love Jesus.  I must not have loved Him very much.  Like a teenager embarrassed of her parents, I had yet to grow up and truly proclaim my love.  Thankfully my eyes were opened.    My sorrow is that it took a tragedy for that to happen.  My joy is that His mercy is Divine and is there for me.  My hope is that with God’s grace I will remain passionate for Him.

When I look now at what the church teaches, I see life.  I see joyful life.  When I look at what society teaches, I see death.  I see the chains of addiction, to money, materialism, power, popularity, alcohol, sex, pornography, drugs, and self.  These things can kill the soul.  God brings life to the soul.  The contrast for me is stark.  But I am no longer afraid.  I am no longer embarrassed.  Either Jesus meant what he said to us, or He didn’t.  Either Jesus was God, or He wasn’t.  Either I really love Him, or I don’t.  And so because I do love Him, I am grateful for the Magisterium, I am grateful for the Catechism.  I am grateful for the church that Jesus gave St. Peter the keys to.  When life gets hard, when the suffering is hard, there is the Barque of St. Peter there guide the way for me, that always points us in the direction of the all encompassing love of Christ.  I am embarrassed to say how little I read of my own religion before.  I believed what other people said without ever reading deeper for myself.  Archbishop Fulton Sheen once said, “There are not one hundred people in the United States who hate The Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they wrongly perceive the Catholic Church to be.”  I know this to be true. I did not know her teachings to be able to proclaim the Truth.  I picked and chose the things I would follow and the things I would not.  I was part of the problem.  Lukewarm.

It is my church that has always said that every life has value and dignity in God’s eyes; That has always told us to go out and feed the hungry, clothe and give shelter to the poor; That has stood by the values that make families stronger;  That has extended love to the downtrodden and weak, and has welcomed the sinner.  Is my church perfect? No, it is not because it is made up of sinners, and yet because of this that is how I know God’s hand guides it.  That through the years with human sin and corruption, she still stands.  She has not fallen like corrupt governments of the past.  For 2000 years, God has guided her even through difficult times,  even when evil seemed to infiltrate. We make it complicated.  We humans are selfish.  It is God who can strip that selfishness away.  He gave us the church to help us understand the way.  The church that points to the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

The book of Revelation 3:15 tells us, “I know your works; I know that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either cold or hot. So, because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.”  Harsh, but it makes sense.  I was pretending.  I was a hypocrite.  Thankfully, the church welcomes the hypocrite and the sinner.  People may laugh at me for being a Jesus freak these days, but I am okay with that.  So on Divine Mercy Sunday, and for the days that follow, I pray for the Lukewarm.  I pray for the conversion of hearts.  I pray for my own heart to stay passionate.  I know His mercy encompasses us.  Jesus I trust in you.

 

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Reflection on the Lord’s Passion

Posted on April 14, 2014 by veilofveronica

What does Satan do to distance us from the path of Jesus? Firstly, his temptation begins gradually but grows and is always growing. Secondly, it grows and infects another person, it spreads to another and seeks to be part of the community. And in the end, in order to calm the soul, it justifies itself. It grows, it spreads and it justifies itself.”  -Pope Francis

 

As we enter this Holy Week, I can’t help but to reflect on the Lord’s Passion.  I cry when I think about it.  The God man, who could have fought back.  He tells us in the Gospel of Matthew chapter 26:53-54;

“Do you think that I cannot call upon my Father and he will not provide me at this moment with more than twelve legions of angels? But then how would the scriptures be fulfilled which say that it must come to pass in this way?”

So He didn’t fight back.  He took it, and He did that for us.  For me.  I think of the quote from Pope Francis above.  How many times in the past did I let myself get distanced from God?  How many times did I neglect my relationship with God, never even speaking to Him unless I wanted something?  How many times have I justified what is wrong?  How many times have I spread my wrong to a friend instead of spreading goodness and right?  So I cry.  I reflect.  The Lenten journey.  It is one of cleansing.  I cry but I feel good.  I feel good because I am loved by Him.  My sins are wiped away.

His Sacred Heart is always reaching out for us.  Reaching out for me.  He wants to wrap us in His love.  I want to be His.  And so, with reflection, I do what He asks.  I repent.  I confess.  I do penance.  I receive His Body and Blood.  The free gift that is there for me. It takes discipline, something I am not great at, but when I look at the Cross, the bloodied and beaten God, who with His wounds took my wounds, my heart melts of its hardness, and feels His saving Grace.  I can go out and spread what is right, my works become works of His heart.  My heart is guided by Him.

This is what I have been feeling, and as if to let me know that his Sacred Heart is there for me personally still, each and every day, my cousin, Kathleen Carr, the painter, stunned me with this;

 

Kathleen SHYes

Behold This Heart That Has So Loved Men.  This is what she unveiled this Lenten season.  He is working among us.  He will make us new.  He will make us strong.  Let His love encompass you this Holy Week.

You can visit my cousin’s website here.

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Don’t Believe the Lies

Posted on March 23, 2014 by veilofveronica

“For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens.  Therefore, put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done everything, to hold your ground”  Ephesians 6:12-13

Some of you had asked me to update you on my Lenten “giving up worry.”  I have to say it has been very difficult.  Within the first week, my oldest broke his arm, my second son had a bleeding black eye from the back yard battle field, and my daughter was having daily stomach aches and headaches for about a month.   We also found out my oldest has food allergies that are overwhelming to say the least.

I think it is easier to give up worry when it is just yourself you have to worry about.  But when I have to add my precious little ones into the mix, it makes it seem impossible.  Then I remember, they too are His.  They are not mine, they were a gift from God to me, but they always belong to Him.  He loves them more than anyone, which is hard for me to imagine.  I am trying to keep that in mind as we progress through Lent.

I took my friends advice and tackled each thing that was under my control and then let the rest go.  Take the oldest to the orthopedic, and get a cast.  That school and his other activities will be harder with his right hand casted, well he can control some of it, not me, and so I leave it to him and God.  As for his allergies, take one meal at a time, and breathe deeply a lot, don’t look too far ahead, just at the meal you are making right now.   My second needed a butterfly bandage to close the wound, and a bag of ice.  Those pictures in my head that say, “what if the plastic battle axe had hit him directly in his eye and blinded him?”  Well, I tried to silence those.  I told myself, “that did not happen, his Guardian Angel was watching over him.”  And I offer up thanksgiving that all things are minor.  I took my daughter to the Doctor to discover the culprit was a sinus infection, and so melted away my thoughts of a brain tumor and the like.  I must tell you, when you actually “give up worry” it becomes VERY apparent how much you do worry.  I spend A LOT of time with negative thoughts that never come to fruition.  Luke 12:25 tells us, “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?”  I am here to tell you, the answer to that is NOT ONE HOUR, in fact, I would venture to say it would remove hours from your life span.

And have I had bigger worries? Yes, I have.  Right now this moment, my Aunt has breast cancer that spread to her spine.  I went to bed one night and I felt compelled to ask Saint Padre Pio to intercede for her.  I have to say, the Saint I am usually compelled to pray for intercession from is the Blessed Mother, but this night I was pulled to pray for St. Padre Pio’s intercession.  So I did, because I can do that, and it helped me let go of the worry.  The next morning I came downstairs to clean my office and on my children’s craft station I found a prayer booklet of the prayers of Padre Pio, even though I keep my prayer books in my Peaceful Place.  I know I could write it off as coincidence, but I know enough now to know that nothing is coincidence.   I took this as my sign that St. Padre Pio is interceding for her.

I quickly emailed my Aunt to let her know.  She emailed me back to tell me she had said the Saint Padre Pio prayer while on the radiation table the day before.  I was astonished.  I should know now not to be surprised by the power of Prayer.  A series of other events had also taken place with other family members as well, and all I will say is, that where there was no hope, now hope abounds.  Please keep my Aunt in your prayers.  I believe in Miracles.  And I am doing my best not to worry about her and let God and his Angels and Saints work miracles.

My mantra this Lent has become, “Jesus I trust in you,” as St. Faustina told us to say.  I find myself repeating it often.  I would like to tell you have I have not worried, but it would not be truthful, however, I am doing much better.  This has been a lesson on changing negative thought into positive thought.  The thought that I know God will take care of me.  I will not let the Father of Lies tempt me into believing his lies.  All the negativity, that is not of God.   So as Jesus was tempted in the desert, I believe these negative thoughts are tempting me to not believe in God’s goodness.  But I answer, I do believe, even in suffering, that GOD IS GOOD.  Jesus I trust in you.  He answers me, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27

 

Divine Mercy scroll KC

Carr Fine Art

 

 

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You are loved

Posted on March 8, 2014 by veilofveronica

An open letter to anyone suffering.

Dear Precious Soul,

Have you ever felt isolated, alone, unworthy?  Felt as though no one loved you?  That what you are suffering is unbearable?  And that no one understands what you are going through?  Have you felt, hopeless, or that you didn’t deserve love?  If you have, or you are feeling this way right now, then this letter is for you.

You are not alone.  You are precious.  You are loved.  There is someone who understands you.  There is someone who loves you so much He would die for you.  His name is Jesus Christ.

To the child with ADHD, dyslexia, anxiety, Asperger’s or Autism, you are loved.  You are beautifully and wonderfully made.  Your differences do not define you.  Being different doesn’t make you less worthy of His love.  Jesus is walking with you everyday of your life.  Invite Him into it and watch your life be blessed.

To the teenager who wants to be popular and feels socially isolated, you are loved.  You were made in His image and Likeness.  You are unique and special.  Do not feel alone, He is with you.  His love will fill you more than you can imagine, more than any material item or social status. Close your eyes and talk to Him.

To the young single person who feels they cannot find love, you are already loved.  Ask Jesus to bless your life and your eyes will be opened to love.

To the young pregnant mother, who is fearful of your pregnancy, and struggling with what to do, you are loved.  Before you were in your own mother’s womb He knew you.  He set you apart.  He will do the same for your child, and the generations to come from your child.  You are not alone in your struggle.  Trust in Him and He will guide you.  His own mother knows the struggle of unexpected pregnancy, but she was the Lord’s Handmaid.  She has been called Blessed for generations. Let yourself be blessed with the child who will love you.

To the parents everywhere, you are loved.  The sleepless nights with little ones, the arguments with your teenager, the worry you still have over your grown children.  He knows them all.  Look to Him, the Greatest Parent, for your guidance.  He will show you the way.

To the couple who longs for a child, but can’t have one, you are loved.  God knows your struggle and walks with you.  His own earthly Father adopted Him.  Love can bring you a family, it just may not be in the way you expected.  Have hope.  His plan is greater than yours.

To the young father who is afraid to be a father, you are loved.  He is the Greatest Father, let Him show you.  Have no fear.

To the unemployed, under employed, the worker, and the financially stressed, you are loved.  Use your skills to Glorify God.  He will not abandon you.  He will provide.

To those who have been betrayed by a stranger, a friend, a family member, you are loved. Forgive as Jesus has forgiven you.  Let the love in and the hurt melt away.

To those who have betrayed others, you are loved.  Let Jesus in to soften your heart.  Say your sorry.  Sin no more.  Start your life anew washed in His blood.

To the drug and alcohol addicted, you are loved.  You may be so deep in your addiction that you see no way out.  There is a way.  Jesus is the Way.  He will bring you freedom.

To the prisoner, you are loved.  There is nothing you have done that cannot be forgiven.  You just have to ask for it and He will freely give it.

To the homeless and the poor, you are loved.  You shall be glorified in God’s kingdom.  You are not forgotten.

To the person with cancer or any other sickness, you are loved.  You are not alone.  He walks with you in your suffering.  He knows the suffering.  Unite yourself with the Cross.  Hope is there.  He is a miracle worker.

To the person who has lost a child, spouse, or loved one, you are loved.  When the pain seems too much to bear, close your eyes and know that the souls on earth and the souls in heaven are part of the Communion of Saints.  Your loved one may have only been here a short time, but remember the joy they brought you.  That joy can be yours again.   Place your eyes on Jesus.

To the depressed and anxiety ridden, you are loved.  Trust in Him.  His path will lead you to Glory.  Lay your worries on His shoulders and He will give you rest.

To all of us, you are loved.  Open your eyes to those around you.  Sacrifice for those around you.  Pay forward the love that is given to you freely.

He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.  Ask forgiveness for your sins.  Cast aside your loneliness and let Him in.  Make Him your friend.  Know and feel you are unconditionally loved.  He is the path to Peace and Freedom.

His Servant,

Susan

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