“….having been associated, as Mother and Minister, with the King of martyrs in the ineffable work of human Redemption, she is always associated, with a practically measureless power, in the distribution of the graces that derive from the Redemption…. And her kingdom is as vast as that of her Son and God, since nothing is excluded from her dominion.” – Pius XII, Radiomessage to Fatima, Bendito seia, May 13, 1946
I went on a silent retreat this weekend at the beautiful Bethany House. I had really needed it, to fill back up. The bickering and the fighting in the world, it can get you down. This was my trip to the mountain top to pray. It was very healing.
I have to say though, this post is not one I wanted to write. Whenever God shows me something, I always try to discern if it is just for me or if it is something I should share. I would prefer many times not to share, and I had decided that what happened this weekend in my prayer was one of those times it was just for me. But no sooner had I decided it, than God said, “SPEAK.” This is actually the word I got for the year from Jennifer Fulwiler’s word of the year generator. Lord Jesus, I feel like a lamenting Jeremiah. But, alas I will listen.
The reason I am so reluctant to write this is because it is a private revelation to me in private prayer. If the magisterium of the church came out tomorrow and stated what I have written is false, then the church would be correct, and I would be wrong and fooled. So know that as you discern what I write.
To start, I have to back up to May of 2018, because it is actually a sequence of things I have been shown in prayer. The only way I can describe what happens is like this; I will close my eyes in prayer, and in my minds eye I feel as though I am transported to another time and another place, though I am not really. Last May I had just written Saint Joseph terror of demons, a few weeks earlier, and I was at a Sunday morning Mass not really thinking about that. I came back from communion and the children’s choir was singing Gentle Woman. I had a direct line view of the statue of Saint Joseph. I looked at him, knelt down and closed my eyes to pray. I found myself in a place looking at a young man in maybe his 30’s, arms outstretched to the sky, surrounded in light. He was sobbing and crying and giving his all to God. He was totally surrendering. It was so overwhelming to me I also started to cry. It was actually breathtakingly beautiful. Then Mary said to me, “that is Joseph.” I really felt like I was witnessing the moment Joseph surrendered all he had to God. I opened my eyes after what was probably only a minute but felt longer, and I was back at Mass ready for the closing prayer.
Then a couple of weeks ago, probably in December, my friend Ashley and I decided to stay after daily Mass and pray a Rosary. Ashley’s baby is about 5 months old, and in order to give her a break I told her I would hold him while we said the Rosary. I stood up with him, and I did the mom sway back and forth, as I held him close to my chest. At a certain point during the Rosary he tucked his head in between my cheek and my neck, and dozed off to sleep. His fuzzy soft head nestled snugly. At the time, I was staring at another statue of Saint Joseph, holding the baby Jesus. I closed my eyes while praying. I again felt transported. This time I could see Mary holding the baby Jesus in her arms. His head tucked on her neck the same way my friend’s baby was on mine. It was hot. She had sweat on her brow. There was a dirt floor. But she was singing a lullaby to him. And it was so beautiful and so overwhelming because you could palpably feel the love. Again I teared up. I felt like I was being shown an intimate moment. I opened my eyes and continued the Rosary, thanking God for showing me the beauty.
So fast forward to this weekend. It was Friday night, the Vigil of the Presentation. We had a Priest give us a talk and some scripture to meditate on. But he also told us he wanted us to meditate on the word Intimate. He said God wanted to be intimate with us. We began prayer with this as our task. Before I closed my eyes I looked at the picture of Saint Joseph in front of me (pictured above). I closed my eyes, praying to the Lord asking him about intimacy with me. But that wasn’t what he showed me. And again, for the third time I felt transported. This time I was in the same home, with the same dirt floor. Mary was holding Jesus in her arms. But Joseph was there. He kissed Mary on the forehead, and held her and Jesus in his arms. He looked at them with such intense love it again made me cry. God was showing me an intimate moment between them. Now before anyone goes off the rails, I want to be clear; This was NOT SEXUAL. NOT AT ALL. She is Ever-Virgin. What transpired next is what I felt God tell me during this time;
Joseph is very aware of his role as Guardian and Protector of Mary and Jesus. He kissed her with affection and total knowledge of her grace, which was extended to him by God when Joseph said yes to God’s plan and listened to the angel. From the moment the angel addressed Mary as Full of Grace, she became the Mediatrix of Grace. She prayed for Joseph during the time that he wanted to divorce her. Mary desired for his perfection. Joseph was already a righteous man, built from his habits and his love for God. After his dream, he totally consented to the plan of God and he was full of grace from that moment forward. Restored to union; to Jesus through Mary Mediatrix of all Grace. We know from tradition that John the Baptist was cleansed from original sin when he leapt in Elizabeth’s womb. It is why scripture tells us, no one born of woman is greater than John. Her first acts as Mediatrix of all Grace were to extend grace to her earthly spouse and to a child in the womb. Her role, to bring all to union with her Son, starting with a child and a spouse. A spouse to whose authority she submitted. Joseph does not want her body, he knows the sanctity of her and it’s as if glancing at her with the child Jesus takes him into the whirlwind like Job. He cannot even speak of the immensity of it. So, in the quiet of his heart, he adores his foster Son. He loves his Mother, truly. It’s an intimacy most do not understand because most can’t get past the physical.
I pressed God further about this. I said, “Joseph became full of grace?” Jesus answered me and said, “do you not think my home, where I would be raised, would not be surrounded in pure virtue? All good comes from God alone, all grace from God flows through my mother. The Almighty calls you to participate in your divinization. My mother is the greatest example of this.”
I asked further about Joseph, and the fact that who I saw was young, not the old man often depicted. And this is what I wrote from that conversation. Joseph was young. It was not sexual because once one has tasted the immensity of union with God, everything else pales in comparison. It’s like when Aquinas called his work “straw”, all else falls away in nothingness and is not needed. Men, in their limitations, constructed Joseph to be old, not because he was, but because they could not comprehend, nor did they KNOW the magnanimity of God, of union with God. It is a mystery that can make an intellectual giant like Aquinas stop writing because of the nothingness of his writing in comparison. Not many achieve this gaze of love, so we can only relate through our limited physical desires and we denigrate the holy ones who overcame them by the grace of God, placing on them limitations that God Himself has removed. Once you’re infused with the gaze of love the desire becomes God alone and all pure virtue flows through you. Joseph attained this because of her openness and his habitual virtue. The original Hebrew word for woman could be translated as “to be open”. We know too that the Hebrew word for womb came to be known as mercy. Mary was open, open to mercy Himself. Mary was open to receiving God, and as such is a Mediatrix of Grace and the conduit for her earthly spouse to attain that unity with God her son. Joseph adored at the tabernacle that held the King. They are the model of the Domestic Church and it is in the Domestic Church, when it is properly ordered that true love resides, and faith hope and charity should be lived. The sacramental life starts in your homes.
I cried at how little I had understood spousal love. At how much I have tried to control my husband. And how much of my femininity I had lost in trying to control things instead of letting God do what God does. In that time between the angel appearing to Mary and the angel appearing to Joseph, we do not see Mary yelling at Joseph trying to convince him of it. She wasn’t lamenting that she is super holy and he just isn’t as spiritually far a long as she is. What we see is Mary accepting God’s plan, and trusting it. And in doing this, Mary let God be God, and she became a conduit of Joseph’s sanctification.
I have spoken to you before about the man hating spirit, but there is also a woman hating spirit. This woman hating spirit was born of abuse of women over centuries I believe. But in it’s seeming effort to elevate women, it actually denigrates them by denying all that is feminine. Children and the womb are looked at with disdain. Authority gets stolen. I realized that for far too long I had bought into what the culture has become and I did not breathe life into myself and all that I am created to be as the daughter of a King. I try to control too much. It is precisely when we try to control someone that the fighting begins. It is like running into battle alone, when God says, “be still, I will fight for you.” If we breathe love and life into another person, and PRAY for them and wait, God will do the work. Sometimes he does it on them, and sometimes it’s you that needs it. This is why we need to totally surrender.
God longs for us to have the communion that Mary, Joseph and Jesus did. It extends to the communion of Saints. It looks like a Mystical Body that is glorious and healthy. I knew in an instant that my mission on this earth is to pour love into my spouse. And also to pray more ardently for our Priests, who bring us the Eucharist. This is the fruit of my prayer with Mary. To love others more, to pray for them more, so that her Son can bring more people to Salvation. This year I drew Saint Faustina as my Saint for the year, with the intention of growing in deeper union with God. I think Faustina has been speaking with Mary, the Saint of mercy and the Mother of Mercy, both drawing me to closer union with my Lord and Savior. Praise be to God.
Veil of Veronica 
Simply so beautiful! Yes…all else will fade…it is Love that is the greatest ….love with Jesus’ Love. We are all made for Love.
Love is what’s left in eternity because once we get there we have no need of faith or hope because they will be fulfilled. God Bless.
Thank you for responding to the call to share this experience.
You spoke to my own heart here. Daniel and I have been discerning how we live as Mary and Joseph in our marriage and in our home- for our little one. Your words are inspiration and validation to our desires.
Also, my “word of the year” is grace – very fitting.
Sending Love my dear friend. Know of my continued prayers for you.
May God pour graces over your family. Miss y’all.
Thank you for ‘speaking’ Susan. You responded to grace and we receive grace. I am so glad for you to be able to attend a Retreat. Even a mini-retreat can be so beneficial for us – a time of quiet and openness. Response must follow for that is God’s way of growing His Kingdom. Thank you to the Mother of Grace. Thank you to St Joseph – how much do fathers and the Universal Church need his example, inspiration and intercession!
About 14 years ago I found the Medjugorje ‘tradition’ of choosing a saint for the year (or the saint choosing us). Unfortunately it was already the end of January, however as our wedding anniversary is February 3rd I thought it would be good to ask on that day for a saint to watch over our marriage. Excitedly I got up on the day to see who our first saint would be – it was the Archangel Gabriel, and as if by confirmation the 9-letter word puzzle in the daily newspaper was ‘archangel’! I am so grateful for this ‘intimate’ assistance – it greatly increases my hope and trust.
We have just celebrated our 40th anniversary and I am very conscious of that being a special, trial period of time. I had not heard of the word generator that you mentioned in this post. Eagerly I prayed before having a go and receiving my personal word – how appropriate it seems to be – “new”!
I pray for St Joseph’s intercession at the end of each decade of the Rosary but now, thanks to you having provided greater depth and closeness to my image of this great Saint, I am sure he will lead my husband to faith! Praise God!
Wonderful story. Thank you and God Bless you!!
“I knew in an instant that my mission on this earth is to pour love into my spouse.” AMEN.
And again comes the nudge to recall the Word of Jeremiah 31 : Behold God is doing something new…the woman encompasses the man with DEVOTION.
Do we really understand the meaning of the word devotion? I think it might help us to dig deeper into that. Devotion was also a great specialty of Saint Joseph…
I once experienced a similar moment in prayer as you describe , Susan. It has to do with Saint Joseph. I felt like I “met” him for the first time when this happened. I recall being transported into a scene of the Rosary as I was praying the Joyful Mysteries and came to the Nativity. This is what I saw:
I was inside the space we call the Cave of the Nativity, as if an invisible part of the scene . Our Lord had just been ” born” . I did not witness any of that Mystery but arrived there just as Our Lord was made present. ( If I understand correctly, the tradition of the Church says that Our Lady did not give birth as we know it but that our Lord appeared in her arms. She did not need to experience the curse of the woman in Genesis because she was sinless. Therefore she did not undergo the distress and pain of childbirth. Please correct me Susan if I have misunderstood the Church teaching).
Anyhow, I have entered into the scene.of the Nativity and am watching in silence. Seconds later, enters Joseph. Like me, Saint Joseph has seen nothing of the “birth” ( ” virgin birth” means that our lady’s intimate “seal” was not broken either in conception or in birthing) and enters into this place of glorious golden light and warmth. I cannot begin to describe what I felt being there: Extraordinary holiness. Love. Grace. Warmth. Security. Gentleness. Softness. Home. Tenderness. Peace. Joy. More Peace. Incredible atmosphere …especially the light, a golden glow.
And then comes Saint Joseph. My impression was that he had stepped outside to get something for Our Lady and in the interval she had given birth. Our rather, Our Lord had “arrived” . And I watch him enter the cave. I call it a cave because it felt like that, a womb of sorts. I watch him approach Our Lady and Jesus. Our Lady has her eyes fixed upon Our Lord Jesus. He is gazing into her eyes. An unfathomable depth of wisdom and love is being exchanged in silence between them, in spite of Jesus being a tiny baby only moments old. And Saint Joseph enters to witness this exchange. It is as if he has understood something at that instant. He is totally overcome with emotion. He has suddenly seen what he could never have fathomed in this gaze of love between Mother and Son, a newborn babe. In this scene, Saint Joseph receives a “share” of Wisdom Incarnate. He experiences this Divine Exchange in his interior. He is given the extreme grace of “participating” in the Divine Gaze. Not as an outsider but from the inside. Suddenly ,he “understands” what he has been “given” to watch over : Divine Life. Divine Love. Divine Wisdom Incarnate. It penetrates his very soul and heart. I watch him first in a state of complete and utter awe, then overwhelmed as he begins to “receive” the Gift inside himself. He begins to weep. Silent tears. Adoring tears. Gratitude beyond understanding. Welcoming tears. Tears of Pure Love. Pure Righteousness. Pure Grace. I watch him as he is being FILLED with Grace… just like you said it, Susan. Except for me it was all VISIBLE on the face of Saint Joseph. Hs is literally penetrated by the Mission at that instant. He receives at that instant the Grace of Wisdom to help him correspond to the Mission. And he quietly weeps as it begins to seep inside of him…and he realizes what he has been given . His Mission. His responsibility for both Mother and Son. He is Guardian of both. It pours over him like oil …just like it says in the Psalm …the oil of anointing the comes upon the head…down the face…running down upon the beard of Aaron… golden oil, like honey. Pure Wisdom. And Grace. And he was devout custodian and steward of that Righteous Wisdom until the moment he died. He never let a single DROP of that Grace go out from himself during the many years he watched over the Mother and the Son. He did not waste a drop of it. He held it. He worshipped it. He honored it. He reverenced it. He guarded it. Joseph, Keeper of the Righteous Grace of Wisdom Incarnate ….
That day, I met Saint Joseph. And I have loved him ferociously as my foster father ever since… Oh…. that every living man who is called to be both spouse and father on this earth could receive such Wisdom upon marriage… and later, upon the birth of a child that has been given to him to care for as a guardian! This IS the WILL OF GOD that it should be so !
Saint Joseph, pray for our beloved spouses and fathers !!!!
That’s beautiful. And yes Mary did not give “birth” like us because of her perpetual virginity…which was also physical and because of her not having sin. Blessed Anne Catherine Emmerich describes it beautifully in her book called The Life of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I have deeply fallen in love now with the Foster Father of Our Lord, who is the Guardian Heart I see beating with the Sacred and Immaculate Heart.
I think it is wise to temper any talk about pouring love into someone with the understanding that many people make false gods out of their relationships. When they have (smother love) they think they are pouring love when in fact they are consuming the actual being of the poor sucker involved, or worse a child. When they think they are doing it for God it is a big mistake.
Simplistic promotion of the DEVOTION of husbands can encourage needy and immature women to worship their husband and/or family.
1 Corinthians 7: 29-31 (The Kingdom of God comes first)
“I tell you, brothers, the time is running out. From now on, let those having wives act as not having them, those weeping as not weeping, those rejoicing as not rejoicing, those buying as not owning, those using the world as not using it fully. For the world in its present form is passing away.”
This is what Ephesians 5 says about wives and husbands (women encompassing a man). It is about the man being the head and providing guidance for sanctification, while the relationship is a great mystery, the wife should respect her husband. Respect is always enough; DEVOTION may be way too much!
Ephesians 5 21-33 (Husbands and wives)
Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body.
As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
So [also] husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “For this reason a man shall leave [his] father and [his] mother
and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church. In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband.
I take it you don’t like that translation of the NAB. We should not worship our spouses. But devotion isn’t worship. We have all kinds of devotions in the Catholic faith. Everything just needs to be properly ordered because God alone is the source of everything.
Susan, I am not sure what you mean by not liking the NAB translation (provided below). I can see no mention of devotion in Jer 31:22 or the provided comment (USCCB). I can not see how one could come to the conclusion that it is about the devotion of a wife to her husband based on the comment provided in the NAB.
Are you considering another verse?
Anyway I am not talking about the definition of the word ‘devotion’ or the application of a true God fearing devotion. Most of us are far to broken to achieve the latter. I am talking about the difference between what a person (e.g. wife) thinks they are doing when they are being devoted and what they are actually doing from God’s point of view.
Are they pleasing God and doing the best for their partner/children or just doing things to feel good about themselves, with the delusion of pleasing God? A wife’s devotion may just be expressed neediness and control.
I would suggest that most women would end up turning Devotion into a false god and maintain a shallow faith. I also think a man would also maintain a shallow faith, if any, if he had an all pleasing wife; which some would see as being devoted. We know that most Catholics support the use of contraception and have therefore made an idol out of sexual relationships.
I see blogs like “The Transformed Wife” while being passionate and brave, as being simplistic and could lead some women down the wrong path.
Susan, I think you and Lucy are going too far with this. I remember an old post of yours where you discussed the spirituality of sex. A lady, I can’t remember her name, was offended and highlighted the dangers of sex, due to increased temptations. I think she had a point. Sex can be highly spiritual and pleasing to God for those close to God, but it may be the road to hell for others. Same with the devotion of a wife to her husband.
Many Catholics can turn their Devotions into an idol. See what happens when a choir group gets disturbed.
Jeremiah 31:22 How long will you continue to hesitate, rebellious daughter?
The LORD has created a new thing upon the earth: woman encompasses man.*
[NAB comment- “No satisfactory explanation has been given for this text. Jerome, for example, saw the image as a reference to the infant Jesus enclosed in Mary’s womb. Since Jeremiah often uses marital imagery in his description of a restored Israel, the phrase may refer to a wedding custom, perhaps women circling the groom in a dance. It may also be a metaphor describing the security of a new Israel, a security so complete that it defies the imagination and must be expressed as hyperbolic role reversal: any danger will be so insignificant that women can protect their men.]
Thanks for the feedback Stephen. I actually am wondering if you are wounded somehow in relationship though. I understand you take issue with how Lucy interpreted that passage, fair enough, but it’s honestly a bit nit picky. You have twice now accused her or me or both of us of making idols of something other than God. I have absolutely never advocated for making anything an idol. I speak of God Alone being good all the time. Yes I spoke of the sexual covenant of marriage, and do not take a puritanical view of sex which is dangerous in its own way, just as a loose view is. The middle way is the best way. I cannot control people who make idols of things that are not God. You seem to read into what I write something that is not there. Pouring love into my spouse doesn’t mean being a doormat somehow or using contraception since the whole premise of all my writings is love AND truth. True love doesn’t = shallow love. It really makes me think you have a deep relationship wound that needs major healing. If I am wrong on that, then I apologize. I have to say too, it seems you lack confidence in God’s ability to work it out with people. Because God is good He works all things for the good of those who love him. So if someone gets off track, His power is made perfect in our weakness. Again thanks for the feedback, and for always being respectful. And God Bless you. I will be praying for you.
Check out my blog (linked to my name) if you want to know more about where I’m coming from.
Thanks for praying for me!
will do. God Bless you.
http://w2.vatican.va/content/leo-xiii/en/encyclicals/documents/hf_l-xiii_enc_15081889_quamquam-pluries.html
The purpose of Pope Leo XIII’s encyclical [Quamquam Pluries] was to implore divine help by means of prayer, joining to the intercession of Mary that of St. Joseph, that God might be more willing to grant our petitions and that he might aid his Church more promptly and generously. Leo XIII therefore attached to his encyclical a special Prayer to St. Joseph ordering that it be added to the recitation of the rosary every year in perpetuity, during the month of October. To this prayer he attached an indulgence, which is fittingly preserved in the Enchiridion Indulgentiarum. He also recommends dedicating to the holy Patriarch the month of March, with daily exercises of piety in his honor, and to observe at lest a triduum of prayers preceding the Feast of St. Joseph.
Prayer to Saint Joseph
To thee, O blessed Joseph, we have recourse in our affliction, and having implored the help of thy thrice holy Spouse, we now, with hearts filled with confidence, earnestly beg thee also to take us under thy protection. By that charity wherewith thou wert united to the Immaculate Virgin Mother of God, and by that fatherly love with which thou didst cherish the Child Jesus, we beseech thee and we humbly pray that thou wilt look down with gracious eye upon that inheritance which Jesus Christ purchased by His blood, and wilt succor us in our need by thy power and strength.
Defend, O most watchful guardian of the Holy Family, the chosen off-spring of Jesus Christ. Keep from us, O most loving Father, all blight of error and corruption. Aid us from on high, most valiant defender, in this conflict with the powers of darkness. And even as of old thou didst rescue the Child Jesus from the peril of His life, so now defend God’s Holy Church from the snares of the enemy and from all adversity. Shield us ever under thy patronage, that, following thine example and strengthened by thy help, we may live a holy life, die a happy death, and attain to everlasting bliss in Heaven. Amen.
Thank you brother Stephen, for your attention to semantics. I do appreciate the encouragement to look further into words… always. Wanted to share this:
https://biblehub.com/jeremiah/31-22.htm
Indeed, we do encounter a plethora of translations :
encircle, encompass, surround, shelter, return to , embrace, protect, court, compass.. (to which I added “devotion” because that was the subject we had embarked upon on the blog. At least, that is what I was commenting upon… Devotion is the ” mot juste” here, if you look the word up in the dictionary . I pray that my spouse would say that, after 30 years of marriage, I am doing my best to surround/encompass him with devotion!
Devotion: love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity, or cause.
“his courage and devotion to duty never wavered”
synonyms: loyalty, faithfulness, fidelity, trueness, staunchness, steadfastness, constancy,commitment, adherence, allegiance, dedication, devoutness;
fondness, love, admiration,affection, attentiveness, care, caring, warmness, closeness
“Eleanor’s devotion to her husband”.
With gratitude and blessings in Christ Jesus, L-
Thanks Lucy.
Well this post was a wonderful “eye opener” for me Susan…..as you can see by all my replies, it is the last post of yours that I read this morning.
God has given me a “MISSION” and St. Joseph of Cupertino to help me.
I love him!
I am new to your blog. I cannot begin to tell you how much I needed to read this as a wife and mother!! My husband and I had a major disagreement over scripture of all things!! At the time, I knew in my heart that it was Satan attacking both of us but my sin of pride held on. We barely spoke this morning before he left for work. The “silent stand off” had begun. My husband is never one to apologize first. After 30 years of marriage I know that it will only end if I make the first move and say say I am sorry. Then he will apologize and we kiss and make up. This time I was determined to wait him out, not out of anger, but out of pride.
And then I read this article. God spoke to me in your words.
“I cried at how little I had understood spousal love. At how much I have tried to control my husband. And how much of my femininity I had lost in trying to control things instead of letting God do what God does. In that time between the angel appearing to Mary and the angel appearing to Joseph, we do not see Mary yelling at Joseph trying to convince him of it. She wasn’t lamenting that she is super holy and he just isn’t as spiritually far a long as she is. What we see is Mary accepting God’s plan, and trusting it. And in doing this, Mary let God be God, and she became a conduit of Joseph’s sanctification.”
Thank you, Susan.
God Bless you. I will say a prayer for y’all
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