There is nothing to be dreaded in human ills except sin – not poverty, or disease, or insult, or ill treatment, or dishonor, or death, which people call the worst of evils. To those who love spiritual wisdom, these things are only the names of disasters, names that have no substance. No, the true disaster is to offend God, to do anything that displeases Him. – Saint John Chrysostom
In my last post I told you I would update you on the happenings in my life. I picked a word of the year for this year. I got EXPAND. I wasn’t sure what this would mean for me this year, but God was preparing to show me something.
My family ushered in the New Year with COVID. All of us, including my mom. I had no caregiver help for 13 days and cared for my entire family while I myself was fevered and coughing. There were moments I didn’t think I would make it, not because I was deathly ill, but because I felt so bad and was unable to rest because of the high level of care my mom needed as well as the care of my husband and kids.
The devil attempted to attack my faith. I must tell you, when an attack on faith takes place, you must rebuke it swiftly and sharply. The devil yelled, “see God doesn’t love you. He doesn’t hear your prayers to protect you. You’re silly to think that your prayers can break this curse.” In my state it was hard to fight off. But I know well enough that that was not the voice of God. And I know also well enough that I have prayed for something larger. I have prayed to be stripped of my ego and to be conformed totally to God’s will. If we learn anything from the Saints, it is that God accomplishes much of conforming to His Will through suffering. I proclaimed that God is good, and really set to the task of living in the present moment. It was all I could do. I decided that each task, each reaction, no matter how hard, had to be done with love. If I thought of the future, the devil attacked. I thought only of what needed to be done in the present moment. And 13 days later, I emerged from the darkness. My type one diabetic mom, who has heart and kidney disease and dementia and has had two strokes and had a broken hip last year, beat COVID. I do not know the ways of God, but I do know that God is good.
My mom is quite childlike. I came to understand during this time that her dementia really is a blessing. She no longer has the reason or capacity to sin. Caring for her was almost impossibly hard in the sick state I was in. But I see what God is doing for her.
Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3
He has prepared her. She will be ready. God is good.
After emerging from the sickness, I was chatting with my prayer group and we were telling each other our words of the year. As I stated, my word is EXPAND. My friend Leah texted me this passage from Letter 110 of Luisa Piccaretta;
Leah sent it to me because it contained the word expand. But I saw something else and I came to understand something the Lord has spoken to me about for awhile. I will state that, as always if the church states that what I am saying is wrong, then the church is correct and I am wrong. Know that as you discern what I write.
There is something I have been trying to put together for quite awhile. It is how the Lord has spoken to me about being restored through the Immaculate Conception and the Cross. Though I understood that He was speaking of Mary and Jesus, I hadn’t understood how it applies to us. Now I think I understand.
The human will is strong, but when one decides to say “yes” to give a “fiat” to God and fully embrace their baptism, the seed of the Divine Will is conceived in their hearts. An immaculate conception of the Divine Will within someone.
But it’s just a seed. It has to expand, be nourished and grow within a soul. With every advance in doing what God asks, joyfully, fully and immediately, It is birthed fully in the soul through the cross. The soul that fully accepts the sufferings that come their way, and offer all they have to God has the Divine Will birthed within their soul. They become Golden Souls.
Through the Immaculate Conception and the Cross a soul is not just redeemed but restored to the original order God intended. The souls that take Mary as their Mother, understand “fiat” and receive this seed.
Mary is Co-Redemptrix; but in this she takes absolutely nothing away from the Redeemer. It is God who wills us to partake in her Immaculate Conception. She had the seed of the Divine Will from the moment she was conceived. She made it all the way to the Cross with her Son. She is the Mother of the Church, and we are the Church, when we hand our human will to God and say yes, we receive the seed of Divine Will through her. FIAT.
It is important for us to know this because of the suffering that has come on the world. We must view this with the eyes of eternity or we will falter. When you know there is an end to the immense suffering, when you know there is light in the tunnel you are in, you can persevere in God’s grace. Despair and the attacks on faith will not overtake you because you know the lies of the devil and you know the goodness of God.
During those 13 days of sickness, the devil tried to tell me I would never get better or that I would never have help. He tried to make it seem as though the good God of the universe didn’t know what was best for me. The devil is wrong and he is always a liar. Perseverance really was a grace; the grace of the Sacraments that came to us through the Immaculate Conception and the Cross and brought us the hope of Resurrection.
God Bless you all out there.