Jesus washes Peter’s feet – Ford Madox Brown – 1852
It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels. –Saint Augustine
As the world continues to rage, I am reminded that June is the month of the Sacred and Immaculate Hearts. This is a month to really lean into prayer and resist the temptation to rage with the world or attempt to fix things out of our control. Instead we should remember what Jesus taught us.
You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5:43-48
We fight intelligently when we remember that we fight powers and principalities not men. If we fight the wrong enemy, we get lost in the battle.
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.Ephesians 6:12
Christian, we must be different. We must claim our inheritance.
“Blessed are the humble, for they will inherit the earth” Matthew 5:5
Do not mistake prayer for inaction, for prayer is more powerful than we know.
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:16
Do not mistake humility for weakness, it is quite the opposite, humility calls forth God’s grace and power. God sees all that is happening.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7
In due time. In God’s time we will be lifted up by remaining humble not by falling into wrath for it is a mark of Satan.
The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19-21
Make Mary your Mother. Let her heart reign in yours. Listen to her. The love of God reigns in her heart. She wants to teach us how to live like that and draw us closer to her Son.
When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home. John 19:26-27
This coming month of June do not let the secular world dictate what is truth and celebrate sin, purge it from your own heart and show the world something different.
Our Lady of Humility
Allow God to deliver you from your desires that are not of Him and from fear of anyone or anything but Him.
Litany of Humility
O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus. (repeat after lines below)
From the desire of being loved…
From the desire of being extolled …
From the desire of being honored …
From the desire of being praised …
From the desire of being preferred to others…
From the desire of being consulted …
From the desire of being approved …
From the fear of being humiliated …
From the fear of being despised…
From the fear of suffering rebukes …
From the fear of being calumniated …
From the fear of being forgotten …
From the fear of being ridiculed …
From the fear of being wronged …
From the fear of being suspected …
That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. (repeat after lines below)
That others may be esteemed more than I …
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease …
That others may be chosen and I set aside …
That others may be praised and I unnoticed …
That others may be preferred to me in everything…
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…
If you would like to purchase the Family Healing prayer book, The Queen’s Triumph, I co-authored with Ashley Blackburn, please click this link.
“Truly, the virtue of humility consists in this, that one keep himself within his own limits; he does not stretch himself to what is above him, but he subjects himself to his superior. Saint Thomas Aquinas
A Journey to Humility
Humility often comes in the form of humiliation. At the beginning of the spiritual journey the Lord sent many consolations and gifts. It was generous and sweet.
As I journeyed further these seemed to be taken away. I cried out to the Lord, asked if I did something wrong. I had grown weary. I felt abandoned. But the desire and love for the Lord had only grown despite the desolation.
It was in humiliation I learned to truly love the giver, not the gift. The experience of His gift giving had taught me of His generous nature. The removal of them taught me of His meekness. He sought to mature me and move me closer to true love which seeks not gifts, but intimacy; to be known.
Humiliation made me to know His humility.
He does not overpower people, he serves them.
He does not mandate, He invites.
He does not condemn, He saves.
He gave His very life.
The one who could command the storms and demons does not force people to love Him.
His generosity is not outweighed by His humility.
Glory is not haughty.
Like a sunrise and sunset, it is awesome, but not proud.
He is profound goodness.
Goodness is not contemptuous.
The preponderance would rather blame God for evil rather than be subject to humility or reign in contempt.
We fail to see who He is and who He wants us to be.
His glory passes by.
Love must be freely chosen.
Freedom necessitates humility.
All else is dictatorship.
If you would like to purchase the Family Healing prayer book, The Queen’s Triumph, I co-authored with Ashley Blackburn, please click this link.
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.” Genesis 2:18
Like all the rest of you out there I am sure you could not scan through the headlines without reading something about the speech Harrison Butker gave at Benedictine college.
I don’t know why I get shocked anymore at the depravity of our society, but I was shocked, yes shocked, that a man expressing his love, to the point of tears, for his wife and her sacrifice, has been vilified, even by Catholics themselves. To those Catholics I say, shame on you. Taking his comments out of context and calling them divisive is a form of gaslighting. It may get you praised is US weekly but the rest of us can see right through it because biblical teaching and pointing out lies isn’t what divides. It only seems divisive when the society is so far away from the truth that the truth cuts like a sword.
“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace but a sword. Matthew 10:34
What I watched in that speech was a man who loves his faith and loves his wife. He didn’t say being a homemaker was the highest of all callings and that every woman should be forced to do that, though it actually is a high calling, he was pointing out the diabolical lie that being a homemaker is horrible for women as an untruth. As a child of the 80’s and a latch key kid I can tell you that being a homemaker was frowned upon during the era I grew up in. Harrison Butker was refuting that. And he was signaling his complete love for his wife that she chose to be a homemaker and to support him. What a novel idea, your spouse doesn’t have to be your enemy, you can be helpers to one another. Sounds biblical to me.
The problem with our society is that they have taught women to hate who they were made to be. Our society is permeated with this woman hating spirit. Whether it be telling us contraception is great when in reality it breaks something that works wonderfully in our body, to telling us that murdering our children is “health care.” A cursory glance at the side effects of the pill on your own body and on the environment should give all women great pause. Society has done everything it can to stop our bodies from doing what they do. It has turned men into enemies and women into men. Instead of fostering love between men and women we have been pitted against one another. And not surprisingly, now men think they can be women and have moved into women’s spaces causing great harm. It’s an age old problem that began with the blaming in the garden of Eden. Satan has been brilliant at convincing us of these diabolical lies.
As a woman who is a wife and a mother, who also works, I took ZERO offense at Harrison Butker’s speech. I applauded it. I saw a man who loved and valued his wife and her dignity and her opinion. If only there were more men like this. There has been nothing greater in my life than being a wife and mother. I am praying for Harrison Butker and his family and I want to thank him for speaking true.
The persecution of right belief and right ordering is well underway. Trust in the Lord and be not afraid.
“If the world hates you, be aware that it hated me before it hated you. If you belonged to the world,the world would love you as its own. Because you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world—therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you, ‘Servants are not greater than their master.’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you; if they kept my word, they will keep yours also. But they will do all these things to you on account of my name, because they do not know him who sent me. If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not have sin; but now they have no excuse for their sin. Whoever hates me hates my Father also.If I had not done among them the works that no one else did, they would not have sin. But now they have seen and hated both me and my Father. It was to fulfill the word that is written in their law, ‘They hated me without a cause.’ John 15:18-25
If you would like to purchase the Family Healing prayer book, The Queen’s Triumph, I co-authored with Ashley Blackburn, please click this link.
There will be signs in the sun, the moon, and the stars and on the earth distress among nations confused by the roaring of the sea and the waves. Luke 21:25
On September 23, 2017 there was a sign in the sky. A woman clothed in the sun with the moon at her feet and a crown of twelve stars. It was as if heaven was announcing a new era, but as with every new era, a Passion happens; a great suffering. We know that the church will go through what Christ went through.
Before Christ’s second coming the Church must pass through a final trial that will shake the faith of many believers. The persecution that accompanies her pilgrimage on earth will unveil the “mystery of iniquity” in the form of a religious deception offering men an apparent solution to their problems at the price of apostasy from the truth. The supreme religious deception is that of the Antichrist, a pseudo-messianism by which man glorifies himself in place of God and of his Messiah come in the flesh. ccc 675
I am not here to talk about eschatology, it is something I know very little about. I also am not here to speak of timelines, for no one knows the hour. But I do think there are some things to look for as we forge ahead in this wonderous time to be alive. I don’t pretend to say that I speak for God, for that responsibility is so big, but I do feel prompted to write what I see is coming based on viewing things through the lens of the Passion. I don’t think anyone reading this is blind to all of the things going on in the world. For me, I look for the things of the church to tell me what is happening in the world.
To begin, I think COVID lockdown was a warning for us, much the way that Christ tried to get his message across and warn the hard hearted. But his message often wasn’t heard, and he couldn’t perform miracles in his own hometown because of their lack of faith. We had an opportunity to live in faith during COVID but instead the faithful were banned from worship and given hand sanitizer as a savior. We could have grown closer to the Lord, instead we appeared to turn to the world to save us worrying more about the flesh than souls. This statement is not to judge the fear in people’s hearts, but to point out that Christendom shut down instead of ministering in a time of dire need. The Eucharist was taken away from the faithful. Many prophets, both religious and secular pointed out what was happening only to be scoffed at.
Then Jesus said to them, “Prophets are not without honor, except in their hometown and among their own kin and in their own house.” And he could do no deed of power there, except that he laid his hands on a few sick people and cured them. And he was amazed at their unbelief. Mark 6:4-6
Jesus will go where He is heard. He is preparing His church for her Passion, death and resurrection.
Many people are speaking about an Illumination of Conscience. This is something that I believe will happen, but I want to say what I would look for prior to this.
Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’ Matthew 21:12-13
There are two ways I see the temple cleansed. One is the temple of my own heart. Many of you out there have been suffering greatly, you’re tired, your cup feels empty. God is not willing our exhaustion for the sake of wearing us out, rather, in the love that God has for us, I see this as an emptying of all that is not of Him in preparation to fill the cup overflowing. It is preparation to learn complete abandonment and trust.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Psalm 23:4-5
The second way I see the cleansing of the temple, is an actual cleansing of all idolatry from the Vatican. I don’t know what this would look like. I just know that first the idolatry will be revealed and that then it would anger some enough to want the Eucharist totally gone. His house is a house of prayer and we have let idolatry in.
I would expect to see a betrayal of church doctrine on the teaching of the Eucharist. Of course when we betray our own bodies with false ideology of transgenderism, sinful mockery of marriage, and enshrinement of abortion, it is only a matter of time before we betray the body of Christ Himself. Thinking we are god, we make God what we want instead of humbling ourselves in obedience to God.
And that is the marker I would look for to know when the illumination of conscience would come. It would seem like death, but it would bring illumination.
It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon, while the sun’s light failed; and the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Then Jesus, crying with a loud voice, said, “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.” Having said this, he breathed his last. When the centurion saw what had taken place, he praised God and said, “Certainly this man was innocent.Luke 23:45-47
Illumination from heaven brings resurrection of the Truth. I see an illumination of conscience as both death and resurrection. When we see our sin and what it did to him, we must die to our sin and choose the way He left us. Just as many eyes were opened when Christ died, so too many eyes are opening to the destruction the world brings. But when the Eucharist is removed, people see their sin on display. The light of goodness whose source for us is Christ in the Eucharist, may briefly seem extinguished.
before I come as the just Judge, I am coming first as the King of Mercy. Before the day of justice arrives, there will be given to people a sign in the Heavens of this sort: All light in the heavens will be extinguished, and there will be great darkness over the whole earth. Then the sign of the Cross will be seen in the sky, and from the openings where the hands and the feet of the Saviour were nailed will come forth great lights which will light up the earth for a period of time. This will take place shortly before the last day. (Diary of Saint Faustina 83)
Illumination of conscience would be a mercy and choice must be made for or against God. And then the battle begins. Like the early church that was persecuted, there will be persecution. But God provides. We must always look up and remember his goodness.
I imagine the disciples were tired too, perhaps feeling empty when they saw the angered leaders and the walls closing in, yet they couldn’t stay awake to pray in the Garden of Gethsemane. All of them ran away, but one came back. The disciple John came back. John was with Mary.
This brings me to the all-important point of why I write this here. The future has some dark things, as it did for the disciples prior to the Passion. Jesus told them what was coming, but they couldn’t picture it in their heads. We know from how Peter reacted to the arrest in the garden that they expected Jesus to display His power without His dying. But that wouldn’t have opened heaven bringing the total forgiveness of all our sin.
For us, we cannot expect that God would display His power prior to His purging all ungodliness from our hearts and from the Church. There is no other way for His will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. All impurity must go.
It is here we turn to the Virgin Mary, the one human person who is pure and gave birth to the Divine Person of Christ. She is one through whom all grace flows. Saint Louis de Monfort said that it isn’t enough to just consecrate yourself to Mary. He said we must do all things in and through her. That is my prayer in every decision I make. I pray for it to be in and through her.
The 11th Station of the Cross in my church. Mary looks up to heaven as Christ is nailed to the Cross. He too looks to heaven.
When we act in and through Mary, the vessel through which God became man, God elevates us, and we can stand at the cross and still look up at heaven believing that God is good as the world we know crumbles.
I see a new Pentecost in the future, one where the Holy Spirit reigns down. Interestingly, I do have a date (but not a year) stuck in my head as a date for the New Pentecost; that date is August 5. That is obviously for discernment.
God Bless you all and Pray without ceasing.
August Queen of Heaven, Sovereign Mistress of the Angels, thou, who from the beginning hast received from God the power of the mission to crush the head of Satan, we humbly implore thee, to send thy holy legions so that under thy command and by thy power, they may drive the devils away, everywhere, fight them, subduing their boldness and thrust them down into the abyss.
Who is like unto God?
O good and tender Mother, thou willst always be our love and our hope.
O divine Mother, send Thy holy angels to defend me and drive far away from me the cruel enemy.
“If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, to be with you forever. This is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him because he abides with you, and he will be in you. John 14:15-17
Now is the time of prayer. I have felt this of late. Less and less has the Lord poured words over me as he did in the past. I feel compelled towards the Rosary often. As the world spirals into the ways of destruction, it is as if we are to hide away in the upper room focusing not on the world but on the Lord who sends the Advocate. A great outpouring is near. It is the coming Epoch of the Holy Spirit. Illumination. Pray for it.
I have spent the past few weeks since mom’s passing rereading my journal. His personal promises to me regarding my mom came to fruition. I had prayed for a holy and a happy death. She was provided for. God is who He says He is.
I came across an entry from May 5, 2023 and I thought now is the time to share it. As always, if the church says what I have written is wrong then the church is correct and I am wrong.
May 5, 2023
Lord teach me how to pray as I ought. – Susan
Beloved Lily of the Father,
Pray for people, not things. Prayer is a movement of the spirit to strengthen the Body of Christ. The gifts of the Spirit move you to pray as you ought.
Fear of the Lord causes you to hate sin.
Counsel guides you in right decisions.
Knowledge is confidence in who you are and who God is.
Fortitude is strength of the spirit to withstand hell.
Piety honors and gives glory to God.
Understanding brings greater depth to Divine Revelation.
Wisdom – Jesus is the Wisdom of the Father, Wisdom walks in the way of Christ.
Pray for an increase in the gifts for yourself, it will become a gift of God to others.
Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. Proverbs 3:7
I went last night to the Good Friday Veneration of the Cross and I was struck by the second reading from Hebrews.
In the days when he was in the flesh, he offered prayers and supplications with loud cries and tears to the one who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered; and when he was made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him, declared by God high priest according to the order of Melchizedek.Hebrews 5:7-10
He was heard because of his reverence. What a powerful statement. Some translations use the term “Godly fear.” This is a gift of the Holy Spirit.
I reflected on the years of spiritual journey and how the closer the Lord drew me in, the more I wanted to respond in reverence, turning to the ways of my ancestors who went before me, by receiving on the tongue, kneeling, and wearing a veil, even in situations where I would be questioned and made fun of for it. Though I know both liturgies are the Holy Sacrifice, in the times I have been to Latin Mass, I felt as though the Liturgy itself was set up to be more like the Nativity. Great care taken to make what needed to be private – private, and the handling of the Body of Christ a reverent handling, the way I pictured Mary and Joseph handling the Divine Child. The abuses I saw at the Novus Ordo Mass reminded me more of the Passion. The lack of reverent silence, the abuses of the Eucharist, there were even times I felt that watching the consecration was an intrusion. It’s hard for me to explain.
To be sure though, reverence is actually an interior disposition that, when embraced, can be shown outwardly. People can have fake piety where they think themselves better than another, but that isn’t reverence, it’s pride. Only God can actually judge what is happening inside a soul. But for me, the outward display was and is a recognition of how weak I am, how small I am, and how I wanted to be obedient to the Lord who I felt asked me to do these things.
Reverence is a Holy Fear of the Lord. It is the first step towards true charity. Charity doesn’t tell people only what they want to hear, but, in love, tells the truth. It is never meant to harm, but only to usher people towards the source of true healing, to the one who can make them whole. Charity is the cross.
The spiritual journey these past few years was accompanied by me caring for my mom and dad and watching as their bodies deteriorated. The past few years of their and my suffering made me to know all that really is important in this world is to love with a Godly love. Godly love is true. There is an acceptance of the things that are, that God has allowed to come, and a reliance on His Will that changes you. Though I can see what may need to be “fixed” I try to step back and ask the Lord if He wants my involvement before getting involved. Sometimes he does, sometimes it is someone else’s battle to fight. He has a task in mind for each of us. We need to pay attention and do what is asked. We always want to make room for the Holy Spirit to move.
When we recognize our weakness and reverently cry out to God, I do believe that is when God’s power is poured out. When we love and serve in the difficulty of life, grace rains down.
During this time period, the angels have left me in awe. I knew that my mother was being ministered to by angels and I cried one day all the way home after I read the following in Hebrews,
But to which of the angels has he ever said: “Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies your footstool”? Are they not all ministering spirits sent to serve, for the sake of those who are to inherit salvation? Hebrews 1:13-14
I thought of how most of us, because of our concupiscence, would be like Satan choosing our own ego rather than serving. Our sin speaks to how we actually do this time and again. But the angels, who are so much higher in intellect than us, who are so much more powerful than us, still chose to minister to us and to serve us because they love God and that is what He asked them to do. What a humbling realization. They are doing what they were made for, serving us for the sake of our salvation, even though the people of God make decisions that go against God all the time. Would that we be that obedient, how different the world would look. What a gift the angels are.
I watched my mom die this week. I saw what sin does. This is not a commentary on her personal sin, just that the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). Death is not pretty and it’s also not what God had in mind. It was hard to watch and I am glad my family was there for her at her weakest. At the end we have nothing of the world that we once had. It is but a fleeting memory and all that is left is your relationships, and even then, in the moment of death, it is the angels who take you, and the most important relationship, the one with God, that you face. The church, like a good mother, provided for my mom so that she would be able to meet her maker and choose life. Please continue to pray for her soul. In these moments I realize how much of my life I wasted worrying about the judgement of others when all I needed to have a Holy Fear about is the judgement of God.
I felt many years ago that God had told me that after my parents died the world would drastically change (for your discernment). Everything I have endured (and that you all reading this have endured) is meant to bring you to a place of total surrender to the will of God, to stop fighting what comes your way and start embracing the plan of God who allowed it to come your way. The fight needs to be intelligent as my friend Jansen says. It is against powers and principalities. Your heart must be pure as we forge ahead. Even though the world is filled with sinners, we should desire, as God does, that all be saved, even as we know that not all will choose to be.
I hope you all have a blessed Easter and that the Glory of God is poured upon you.
but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom also he made the universe. The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven. Hebrews 1:2-3
The angel of the Lord appeared to him and said to him, “The Lord is with you, you mighty warrior.” Judges 6:12
Mary Josephine Carr Green
June 3, 1940 – March 25, 2024
My mom passed away Monday, March 25, 2024. Please pray for the repose of her soul.
Mom had lived with my family for 3 years. She had dementia. She also had type one diabetes. I had put her on hospice a little bit ago because of the marked decline. She went to sleep last Thursday and just didn’t wake up after that. She looked so peaceful. I called my family. She received anointing of the sick and an Apostolic Pardon. She was surrounded by praying family.
These past few years were messier and more exhausting than I ever imagined. I find myself feeling sorrow mixed with relief. During this phase of my life I found that often my expectations were false in terms of what Gods perfection looks like. God operates in the middle of mess. He taught me to look up and be loving in the middle of exhaustion and dark places. I failed a lot. I loved a lot. Grace poured a lot. It really is about love and mercy.
We all told mom it was okay to go. My sisters and I went first and then my brother. He went through (with his awesome memory) all of the addresses she had lived at in her life and told her that the next address would be the last and best one. Even though this year the Annunciation was moved because of Holy Week, I still see the date as a hug from Our Blessed Mother. May mom rest in peace.
Funeral Mass will be April 1, 2024 at 12:00 p.m. CST at Saint Philip the Apostle Church, Franklin, TN. Livestream will be available.
Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. When they saw him, they worshiped him, but they doubted. And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:16-20
I apologize I haven’t written anything in awhile. Lent is a busy time for those who work in ministry. I am also working on completing another prayer book, please pray that it comes to fruition. For those who don’t know Ashley Blackburn and I published our first prayer book this past year.
We had the privilege of having Dr. Ryan Hanning, PhD, speak at my parish last night on the Gospel of Matthew. If you don’t have time to listen to the whole thing, please at least listen to the opening story beginning at the 8 minute 45 second mark. It’s the story of a modern day miracle and we all need to hear those.
Mary Magdalene (c. 1598) by Domenico Tintoretto, depicting her as a penitent
“Therefore I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul. Job 7:11
I came across a German Mystic named Anne Marie Lindmayr the other day. She was a 17th Century Carmelite nun who is known as a Purgatory Mystic. She stated of purgatory that, “the types of souls that dwell the least amount of time in purgatory are those that willingly accept death.”
In hearing this quote, it was like a light bulb went off in my head. “Of course,” I thought to myself. This is because acceptance of death is an acceptance of the consequences of sin.
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23
It is a complete and total recognition that death is not God’s fault, and we accept it. It is the opposite of what Adam did in the garden.
The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit from the tree, and I ate.” Genesis 3:12
Do you see what Adam did there? He blamed God for his sin. Never mind that God had given Adam a gift, a help-mate, and that he gave Adam explicit instructions and told Adam to have dominion and keep the garden. Never mind that Adam ignored the instructions, gave away his dominion, and did not keep the garden. Adam didn’t want to take responsibility. Adam blamed God and his gifts for his own transgression. And each of us suffered the consequence because God is infinitely good so his blaming God carries on through infinite generations with us being marked in original sin. It is why we need baptism.
But for those who trust and know that God is always good, they know He should not be blamed. They accept the consequence of what is and they request mercy to make their way back to God.
This explains why the hour of death is so important. It explains why we pray for Mary to pray for us at the hour of our death, why we ask Saint Joseph to intercede for a happy death, why we pray a chaplet of Mercy for the dying. For those who accept the consequence of sin willingly, no matter where they are or how it happens, have demonstrated that they understand what they deserve and thereby humble themselves enough to warrant eternal life, possibly spending a short time in purgatory, but being granted the merits of the Cross. We see this demonstrated by the two thieves, one who mocks God, and one who accepts his consequences.
One of the criminals who were hanged there kept deriding him and saying, “Are you not the Messiah? Save yourself and us!” But the other rebuked him, saying, “Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed have been condemned justly, for we are getting what we deserve for our deeds, but this man has done nothing wrong.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come in your kingdom.” He replied, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” Luke 23:39-43
Death is not God’s fault. God is good all the time. God turned death into everlasting life by sending us His Son.
In the same way, suffering is not God’s fault either. Sin begets suffering. It is not God who wills our suffering. Suffering is actually the fruit of sin and is in and of itself an evil that God did not will. But once it was here Jesus came to show us what to do with it and how suffering well brings redemption.
Unfortunately, because we are all connected, sometimes suffering happens because of someone else’s sin. I have seen this so much lately. People are suffering immensely at the hands of another. The suffering often brings discouragement, discouragement can bring despair. Despair is what Satan uses to make us blame God.
If you find yourself in this situation it is okay to lament to God. We have an entire book in the bible called Lamentations. We read all throughout the book of Job of his immense suffering that is not due to his own fault. We see him complain to God. But there is one thing Job does not do. He does not blame God. He does ask God why, but his question isn’t like the thief on the cross who is mocking Jesus, it’s a heartfelt asking. At no point does Job blame God, even as he wishes he were never born.
After this Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth. Job 3:1
Do not blame God for evil. This is key to the times we are in. We should do our best when we are suffering not to complain to other people. This is because discouragement can spread because most people try to fix suffering and when they can’t they get discouraged too. Take your lamentations directly to God. He understands it.
And about three o’clock Jesus cried with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Matthew 27:46
Even Saint Paul, who “rejoices” in his suffering (Colossians 1:24), rejoices not in the pain, but in the knowledge of the goodness of God who uses it to build up the church. Paul is even no stranger to speaking of his sufferings.
I am a better one: with far greater labors, far more imprisonments, with countless floggings, and often near death. Five times I have received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I received a stoning. Three times I was shipwrecked; for a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from bandits, danger from my own people, danger from gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers and sisters; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, hungry and thirsty, often without food, cold and naked. And, besides other things, I am under daily pressure because of my anxiety for all the churches. Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to stumble, and I am not indignant? If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. 2 Corinthians 11: 23-30
Why does Paul boast of his weakness? Because he knows that when we are weak we rely totally on God. We know we aren’t the Savior and we know the only way through the situation is to love God and rely on his grace and goodness.
God did not cause the evil that we see surrounding us. God came to save us from it and redeem it all.
My people, what have I done to you? or in what way have I offended you? Answer me. What more should I have done, and did not do? I led you out of the land of Egypt, and you prepared a cross for me. I opened the Red Sea before you, and you opened my side with a lance. I gave you a royal sceptre, and you have given me a crown of thorns. With great power I lifted you up, and you have hung me upon a cross. My people what have I done to you, or in what way have I offended you? Answer me. (from the Reproaches of Good Friday)
Suffering well means praising God’s goodness even if you complain to God about the pain of suffering. Suffering well means loving God and loving others even if you are too exhausted to speak. This is the way of the Saints. It’s messy and ugly and sometimes even feels like you are failing God. But if you stay trusting in His goodness, then it is not failure. It is grace pouring down and the promise of redemption. Trust that because God is good.
When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing beside her, he said to his mother, “Woman, here is your son.” 27 Then he said to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his own home. John 19:27
Here lately with all that has been happening in the world, I have prayed to the Lord to let me “see”, or “stay awake”. The answer I hear back from heaven seems to be, “view the world through the lens of the Passion.” I have to decide, in all these swirling storms who I want to be.
In the Passion narrative, though I most often relate to Mary Magdelene, it has been the Apostle John who has come time and again to my prayer. As I see things crumble in the larger church and in my own local church, I have asked myself over and over, how the Apostles must have felt.
Prior to the Passion we see Jesus tell them of their lack of understanding. They cannot seem to view what is happening beyond the material things and sufferings they see with their physical eyes. He tries to get them to see spiritually.
When the disciples reached the other side, they had forgotten to bring any bread. Jesus said to them, “Watch out, and beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” They said to one another, “It is because we have brought no bread.” And becoming aware of it, Jesus said, “You of little faith, why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not perceive? Do you not remember the five loaves for the five thousand and how many baskets you gathered? Or the seven loaves for the four thousand and how many baskets you gathered? How could you fail to perceive that I was not speaking about bread? Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees!” Then they understood that he had not told them to beware of the yeast of bread but of the teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees.Matthew 16:5-12
This passage makes me giggle a little bit. They had just witnessed Jesus multiply bread but they think he is talking about not having enough bread. He has to explain Himself. I don’t perceive that Jesus would have been angry with them when he chastises them in this passage, but perhaps, I see Him as more sorrowful. He is just looking for one, just one of them, to get it.
So as scripture moves into the Passion narrative, we can see that the interior disposition of the Apostles is still not quite where it should be. Though there is one, one who rests on Jesus’ heart.
One of his disciples—the one whom Jesus loved—was reclining close to his heart;Simon Peter therefore motioned to him to ask Jesus of whom he was speaking. John 13:23
I find it interesting that Peter turns to John to find out who Jesus is speaking about that will betray Him. Peter could have asked Him directly. But he didn’t. This speaks of fear in Peter’s heart. John was not afraid. He was resting in the Lord.
The spiritual atmosphere in these hours has shifted. This Jesus, who had been the healer, gift giver, and kingdom preacher to them, who they knew was the Messiah, now, though they love him, evokes fear in their hearts. Why?
As Jesus angered the Pharisees and Sadducees, they would have felt the walls closing in, waiting for Jesus to announce Himself and take over as King. But he wasn’t doing that. The result causes wavering. What in the world is the Lord doing? Why doesn’t He show them who He is?
Perhaps He now no longer appeared in their eyes to be the source of life. Instead, they perceived Him and the path to the cross that He willingly chose to be the source of anxiety. And they were right and correct in what they thought, at least in the worldly way, about this because Jesus let the leaders of His religion carry Him off to death using the hands of the state to do so.
This would be traumatic. They would have felt unsafe.
Can anyone relate to this as we see what is unfolding in our own church? As we see sin be made transparent and Doctrine being whipped?
The Apostles reacted and ran, not wanting to witness His death.
It was a Mass exodus of His closest friends who knew the truth He taught but fear enveloped them.
Except one. One came back. Why?
The answer is that He loved Jesus more than he hated his own suffering. He loved Jesus more than his own life.
John got outside of his own suffering and consoled the Heart of Jesus. John sacrificed safety for love. This makes him beloved because now it is God’s own love that has a hold of Him. God’s love that is self-sacrificing living in him.
The other Apostles weren’t there yet. In fact, we see in an exchange after the Resurrection when Jesus asks Peter if he loves him. The passage tells us Peter went back to his old way of life fishing and had taken off his outer garment;
That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment, for he had taken it off, and jumped into the sea. But the other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish, for they were not far from the land, only about a hundred yards off. John 21:7-8
Isn’t the reference to the outer garment interesting? Since in the Baptismal covenant we exchange the outer garment, handing our old ways to God, and being clothed in white. Peter had to put his garment back on. We would all do well to remember this when we renew our baptismal vows at Easter each year. And here again, it is John who sees! John knows it is Jesus!
Throughout all of this we can see that it is our contrition that saves us. Peter and the other Apostles become contrite when they realize Jesus’ plan was different than what they had imagined. God’s mercy pours out and they become Saints. The rejection of mercy is the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit and it is unforgivable.
But more than contrition, it is true love of God that restores us and makes us to see the spiritual realm. When you love God more than anything else you can face any trauma like John did. Your thoughts become rightly ordered and you know that God is good regardless of what is happening around you.
Ask yourself this question, do you love Jesus in the Eucharist more than you hate the suffering you’re enduring?
Saint John was more aware of the suffering of Jesus than of His own suffering. Most people don’t reach this level of sanctity. John had an openness to God’s plan that perhaps the others did not. And John, according to the mystics, went and got Mary, who in her perfection, is a ceaseless intercessor for us. We would all do well to ponder these things and view things through the lens of the Passion.
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love. 1 John 4:18
Veil of Veronica 